Job titles. Sounding important. Elevating status.

[Estate]

Hey guys. Slightly off topic but more about creating impressions.

So to set the context I'm past college age. I work in a more professional environment and tend to like to date in a similar area. I sometimes stumble over describing my job or what I do. I tend to be a fairly humble guy and downplay things about myself but more and more in this environment it seems to be the norm to "big up" yourself as I'd call it. Whether it's meeting women or other people in the business... if you're not sounding like the most important person in the room, people tend to dismiss you.

So in general I have a good job. I work in the financial world but it's difficult to describe what I do to someone who doesn't do it and I get a lot of "uh..."s when I describe it. I kinda feel like a jerk when I talk myself up or bullshit people but there's a lot of it in this environment.

I've encountered it with women here a lot.

About a year ago I went on a date with a girl who had described herself as a"high ranking exec". I was quite intimidated to be honest. As I probed her it turned out she worked at my company (it's a big place so I'd never encountered her). I realized who she worked for and that she was in fact a secretary. Now if she had said that up front I'd not have made anything of it but positioning herself far above my rank when I am in fact many times her senior just rubbed me the wrong way.

Another acquaintance I know recently started a blog detaicing her career and dating. Same thing. She is essentially a secretary but manages to roll with the high fliers by making herself sound very important. She name drops a lot like how she goes to parties with the "most important people in town" and how impressed they are with her... how she dates heads of financial companies.... how they all hit on her so much. Really I find it a turn off but it feels like that's how people get ahead here more so than where I'm from.

Any thoughts?

 

[BarryS1]

Estate, I'm encountering the same problem over here!

I like giving a simple explanation of my job instead of the full title like most people. I’ll say I’m a programmer in X industry and if they want to know more I’ll tell them. Going to professional events on Meetup.com or hanging out with professionals, people will laugh at me if I don’t say the full title. A typical introduction takes forever…full professional title, name of company, what company does, ect.

I think a huge introduction is good for networking, but we’re there for other things too The only time where a simple intro comes off as strange is during an event within your specific niche (training event, company open house).

For some people a simple introduction is okay, maybe they are turned on and want to get personal, new to the field and don’t know much about the industry or not in the mood to talk about work. I say let’s keep at it! Maybe people are looking for specific professionals and don’t want to get caught up in a 2-3 minute intro exchange with me. I think it’s a win-win to keep a simple introduction. I can’t remember what article, but remember Chase mentioning that telling information people don’t ask for isn’t good for connection-building.

 

[Ross]

Estate,

Reputation, job titles, and elevating status are all a part of the social ladder-climbing business. Of course, like you've already noticed, people tend to overstate their status in order to appear more important than they actually are, and it works.

In my opinion, your answer to describing what you do depends on what you really want from an interaction. Want someone to think highly of you? Be blasé and say you're a high-ranking executive at XYZ prestigious company. Want to seduce someone? Don't talk about any boring jobs like finance, instead talk about your writing, travels, and adventures. Don't want to intimidate someone? Give them a simple response and say you're a secretary.

For networking, it's probably better to err on the side of being as honest as you can. Don't talk up yourself too much, but let it be known that you think highly of your job in your description.