Hi guys,
I just broke up with a girl I'd known for a month. We had the most fiery dates when we started off, and it culminated with us sleeping together in a week of knowing each other. We had a great night together, and she asked me in the morning if we wanted to be friends with benefits. I said "sure", but later asked her if she wanted a relationship after she said not to expect our friends with benefits situation to last. She told me she didn't think I was ready for a relationship, but that we could try it out.
Being together with her was fantastic. She was the perfect girl to me: confident, sexy, and she knew what she wanted (and wasn't afraid to speak her mind). I, on the contrary, felt like I lost my sense of purpose. I was just so smitten with her. She gave me many things -- she told me she'd always be there for me, she always cleared time out of her schedule to meet me, and she always consoled me whenever I told her that I was nervous about us, because I never had a relationship before and I didn't know what to expect. I also felt that I couldn't compare to her ex, a middle-aged man who she referred to as being "the only guy in control of the relationship, unlike the rest she had dated". But she consoled me. She said that I was younger and that she would guide us along and figure it out. She tried to keep an eye out for when I was upset, gave me as much of her time as she could, and always tried to find the right words to say to me ("I really like you", "You're worth everything I'm giving", etc).
But I never stopped worrying. I thought a sense of purpose was important to a man. I had that before we got together, but after we did I was just so smitten that I lost focus on my work and studies. I thought that was really important -- to have a sense of purpose -- because that is what makes a man attractive to a woman. If I lost that, I would lose her attraction over time. So, out of the blue, I asked her for a week of space, where we wouldn't meet or text each other. I wanted to get my emotions in order, and my priorities in order.
She was alright with it, but suggested that we break up the next day. She said that she felt like I wasn't ready, and that I treated us like a game. She said that she tried so hard to make us happen, but because I was so afraid of what would happen, we never had a chance to take off. She said she "can't do this". I met her later on the same day, where I told her that I still wanted to go out with her. She did not shoot down the idea, but she did not agree too, saying that if I wanted, we could "still go out, but as friends".
She texted me afterwards and we talked about how we were feeling. But she was careful this time, distant... I feel like this is such a waste. We didn't part because one of us didn't like the other anymore. We parted because "I wasn't ready for a relationship", which is really silly because I really like her. If it was the former, I would feel less of a dilemma about it. I feel like I should try to get her back, but I also need to be sure that I'm ready to make some changes to how I am if I were to try to get her back. What do you all think? Do I have a chance? Is that the right thing to do?
I just broke up with a girl I'd known for a month. We had the most fiery dates when we started off, and it culminated with us sleeping together in a week of knowing each other. We had a great night together, and she asked me in the morning if we wanted to be friends with benefits. I said "sure", but later asked her if she wanted a relationship after she said not to expect our friends with benefits situation to last. She told me she didn't think I was ready for a relationship, but that we could try it out.
Being together with her was fantastic. She was the perfect girl to me: confident, sexy, and she knew what she wanted (and wasn't afraid to speak her mind). I, on the contrary, felt like I lost my sense of purpose. I was just so smitten with her. She gave me many things -- she told me she'd always be there for me, she always cleared time out of her schedule to meet me, and she always consoled me whenever I told her that I was nervous about us, because I never had a relationship before and I didn't know what to expect. I also felt that I couldn't compare to her ex, a middle-aged man who she referred to as being "the only guy in control of the relationship, unlike the rest she had dated". But she consoled me. She said that I was younger and that she would guide us along and figure it out. She tried to keep an eye out for when I was upset, gave me as much of her time as she could, and always tried to find the right words to say to me ("I really like you", "You're worth everything I'm giving", etc).
But I never stopped worrying. I thought a sense of purpose was important to a man. I had that before we got together, but after we did I was just so smitten that I lost focus on my work and studies. I thought that was really important -- to have a sense of purpose -- because that is what makes a man attractive to a woman. If I lost that, I would lose her attraction over time. So, out of the blue, I asked her for a week of space, where we wouldn't meet or text each other. I wanted to get my emotions in order, and my priorities in order.
She was alright with it, but suggested that we break up the next day. She said that she felt like I wasn't ready, and that I treated us like a game. She said that she tried so hard to make us happen, but because I was so afraid of what would happen, we never had a chance to take off. She said she "can't do this". I met her later on the same day, where I told her that I still wanted to go out with her. She did not shoot down the idea, but she did not agree too, saying that if I wanted, we could "still go out, but as friends".
She texted me afterwards and we talked about how we were feeling. But she was careful this time, distant... I feel like this is such a waste. We didn't part because one of us didn't like the other anymore. We parted because "I wasn't ready for a relationship", which is really silly because I really like her. If it was the former, I would feel less of a dilemma about it. I feel like I should try to get her back, but I also need to be sure that I'm ready to make some changes to how I am if I were to try to get her back. What do you all think? Do I have a chance? Is that the right thing to do?
