- Joined
- May 15, 2014
- Messages
- 102
This girl added me as friend on an expat website like a month ago and we started talking on "whatsapp" - her contacting me everyday.
Because her written English was rather broken and because she did not have any pictures of herself whatsoever; I did not trust who she said she was, her motives, whatever. . . I even toyed with her and teased her in ridiculous/crazy ways thinking it was a scam anyway.
Then it turned out we were both bound to attend the same social gathering and that she had already attended the previous event.
She was out there in some group picture though she didn't want to tell me who she was.
Out of common sense, I got my act together with her a little bit since we were bound to enter social circle territory - but still this lead to even more flirting, her asking me out to a bar with a couple girlfriends of her (which I declined), some talking about giving each other a massage, the panties she wears when working out, etc. . . (she lives out of town thou, so logistics are not great).
This continued with her contacting me everyday leading up to the day we finally met at a dinner party.
In fact, that night I walked in and sat in front of this girl I thought was a total stranger who couldn't care less about me - and she suddenly goes "hey, it's me".
Yes, she turned out to be this 30 something year old, unmarried business woman, she claimed to be, not stunning but not ugly-looking either.
Thing is, she put her busines facade on. I did too and we both mostly spoke to other people. We barely addressed each other.
After that, she continued contacting me on whatsapp; say, every other night I come back from sports at around 22:00 and there's a message from her.
She also seems to be out there reading every message I post in our group/public conversation; finding out I went to a party, a date, whatever. . . and later inquiring about it privately.
She also contacts me to tell me awesome things she does or how shes working out once again.
The difference is that flirting is 5% of what was before and she seems annoyed/flustered if I try to tease her or mess with her.
She now seems rather humorless, easily annoyed.
Things like me "seeming to get a lot of girls" come up but not so much direct compliments like before.
It's like she got into this "I'm a serious girl" mode - and I can only very occassionally drag her out of that place.
I find it hard to think she just wasn't attracted when she saw me - as almost every other male in that group has a beer belly (I'm the only one with an obvious gym body), most are provider material, a lot are Asians and she's looking for a white guy, etc. . .
I can only think of one other guy she could be attracted too.
I feel it's more of a "oops! we entered social circle" kind of thing.
Lately she's been going to these outings at the countryside with other locals and since she brought it up to me privately a few times - I just said, "hey, I may be interested next time". I know it's a friend-zone kind of thing but I've had local (Chinese) girls in the past invite me to a group thing like that and then it turned out they were chasing me. Anyway, I haven't confirmed; I can still postpone, say no, etc. . . I like it a bit because it's outside this social circle and the rest of the people going will be locals who probably won't be able to follow our conversation in English.
Anyway, my question is: What's up here? Is she contacting me all the time just to be friends?
I'm seeing other girls all the time but I'd like to bed this one earlier or later - but since we entered social cirlce it's like she's stopping me from moving too fast or getting too sexual. . . but at the same time keeping tags on me?
_
Also, while I'm keeping her as a on-the-side thing whithout worrying too much - I rarerly take the initiative to speak to her and I try to keep things playful and non-chalant - it's also like she's demanding more and more investment from me and trying to get me to chase instead.
Because her written English was rather broken and because she did not have any pictures of herself whatsoever; I did not trust who she said she was, her motives, whatever. . . I even toyed with her and teased her in ridiculous/crazy ways thinking it was a scam anyway.
Then it turned out we were both bound to attend the same social gathering and that she had already attended the previous event.
She was out there in some group picture though she didn't want to tell me who she was.
Out of common sense, I got my act together with her a little bit since we were bound to enter social circle territory - but still this lead to even more flirting, her asking me out to a bar with a couple girlfriends of her (which I declined), some talking about giving each other a massage, the panties she wears when working out, etc. . . (she lives out of town thou, so logistics are not great).
This continued with her contacting me everyday leading up to the day we finally met at a dinner party.
In fact, that night I walked in and sat in front of this girl I thought was a total stranger who couldn't care less about me - and she suddenly goes "hey, it's me".
Yes, she turned out to be this 30 something year old, unmarried business woman, she claimed to be, not stunning but not ugly-looking either.
Thing is, she put her busines facade on. I did too and we both mostly spoke to other people. We barely addressed each other.
After that, she continued contacting me on whatsapp; say, every other night I come back from sports at around 22:00 and there's a message from her.
She also seems to be out there reading every message I post in our group/public conversation; finding out I went to a party, a date, whatever. . . and later inquiring about it privately.
She also contacts me to tell me awesome things she does or how shes working out once again.
The difference is that flirting is 5% of what was before and she seems annoyed/flustered if I try to tease her or mess with her.
She now seems rather humorless, easily annoyed.
Things like me "seeming to get a lot of girls" come up but not so much direct compliments like before.
It's like she got into this "I'm a serious girl" mode - and I can only very occassionally drag her out of that place.
I find it hard to think she just wasn't attracted when she saw me - as almost every other male in that group has a beer belly (I'm the only one with an obvious gym body), most are provider material, a lot are Asians and she's looking for a white guy, etc. . .
I can only think of one other guy she could be attracted too.
I feel it's more of a "oops! we entered social circle" kind of thing.
Lately she's been going to these outings at the countryside with other locals and since she brought it up to me privately a few times - I just said, "hey, I may be interested next time". I know it's a friend-zone kind of thing but I've had local (Chinese) girls in the past invite me to a group thing like that and then it turned out they were chasing me. Anyway, I haven't confirmed; I can still postpone, say no, etc. . . I like it a bit because it's outside this social circle and the rest of the people going will be locals who probably won't be able to follow our conversation in English.
Anyway, my question is: What's up here? Is she contacting me all the time just to be friends?
I'm seeing other girls all the time but I'd like to bed this one earlier or later - but since we entered social cirlce it's like she's stopping me from moving too fast or getting too sexual. . . but at the same time keeping tags on me?
_
Also, while I'm keeping her as a on-the-side thing whithout worrying too much - I rarerly take the initiative to speak to her and I try to keep things playful and non-chalant - it's also like she's demanding more and more investment from me and trying to get me to chase instead.
there are plenty in my country too, so it's helpful getting a bit of insight into their headspace from this post...