- Joined
- May 15, 2014
- Messages
- 102
Sorry! I'm still clueless!
This girl. . .
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=7437
Met her at some foreigners meetup, then she dropped those meetups and we started hanging out like once in a while - supposedly to get some language practice done.
After about three times, I began upping the sex-talk. . . and if she contacts me I try to flirt with her and if she shuts down, just focus on other girls until she contacts me again and accepts my terms. 60% she resists, rejects my frames, shuts down violently, 40% contacts me, follows my stuff religiously on social media, implies she's attracted, etc. . .
I was on a holiday recently and she contacted me out of the blue because of some picture of me she's seen doing my training, muscular and so on - she complimented, we fllirted, told her I was busy (it was true) and that we'd go out somewhere when I get back.
At that point, I had a solid plan to take her to my uni room and show her some pictures - and my gut feeling was that she was going to accept.
I got back, saw this other girl, tried to take her to my room, nope, can't take persons of the opposite sex to your room in this uni. . .
. . . but that other girl had an appartment so things went smoothly after that.
This one doesn't - lives with parents.
Also doesn't go drinking so I cannot use some of the escalation/transitions/logistics I'd use in and around a certain venue.
So I'm back to this. . . gotta take her to a hotel somehow.
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=7272
Briefly, last time we met, I got her (again, in fact, she offered) to travel an hour down to near my place.
Met at this café (she was waiting for me at a little dark table with a candle and stuff - got her to move to a place where it was more comfortable for me to have a bite and look at a few things I wanted her to teach me).
I drove the conversation into dirty words in each language - and she told me she was a bit ashamed to be heard by the surrounding girls (one of her underlying preocupations all along IMO). I immediately pulled the "let's get out of here" and she was so eager and got up with such energy I had to tell her she was forgetting all her stuff behind as she followed me out. I teased her and she admitted she might have been "a bit nervous" around me.
We ended up strolling aimessly at classy and quiet shopping mall - discussing the different words for "penis" and "f*ck".
At some point, she teased me about my belly (which she hadn't noticed before - as I tend to go from a 6-pack to having a slight belly and back within weeks depending on training/diet) and then asked me to show her a picture of me at the beach she had seen long ago "because she loves the beach" - then, when seeing another pic of that series, she shuddered in a childish "omg, so sexy" way.
. . .but then I pressed my arm (skin) against her's a little when walking and she retracted violently. She's just random like that. . .
Later I told her how about how I had seen my dorm rules not allowing girls in and how this sucked and how in previous dorms I've been to could regularly hear "bed-shouting" at night. She was really engaged by this topic, laughing, agreeing with me and saying it was really backwards. . . and one thing that caught my attention is that, since we were on the way out down some long dark outdoors less-transited staircase, she kept stopping and turning to me; as though she wanted us to just stand there talking face-to-face. Once we got down on the street, same thing, stopped, nailed to the ground, turned to me. . . and I made the mistake of turning the dorm topic for a second to a less "sexual" aspect and there was actual RESISTANCE on her part to stray FROM the sex topic. . .
Now that I've written this - and only just now - I notice I may have missed something big. Maybe she wanted me to kiss her on the stairs? Take her somewhere else? After that she checked her watch and went home 'cause "it was time" and was adamant about it with all these "logical" reasons. . .
Now she's contacted me again, obviously hoping I ask her out somewhere but I teased her and she shut down. She'll be back. . .
I need a plan before I set up anything with her again.
So far my default plan is still upping the sex-talk and the teasing/joking - until she's very very used to it - because I feel there's a big escalation step I need before I can push the envelope any further.
Better tips/insight are welcome. . .
Note: Maybe she's trying to push me into some boyfriend role? From her banter-content last two times we met and how she remembered and brought up I had promised "we'll go somewhere when I get back", it seems that she's fantasizing about me taking her out to dinner or some boyfriend thing I don't feel like doing right now. . . That'd also explain her attempts to slow me down.
She's 28 btw. . .
Met 4 times in total.
This girl. . .
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=7437
Met her at some foreigners meetup, then she dropped those meetups and we started hanging out like once in a while - supposedly to get some language practice done.
After about three times, I began upping the sex-talk. . . and if she contacts me I try to flirt with her and if she shuts down, just focus on other girls until she contacts me again and accepts my terms. 60% she resists, rejects my frames, shuts down violently, 40% contacts me, follows my stuff religiously on social media, implies she's attracted, etc. . .
I was on a holiday recently and she contacted me out of the blue because of some picture of me she's seen doing my training, muscular and so on - she complimented, we fllirted, told her I was busy (it was true) and that we'd go out somewhere when I get back.
At that point, I had a solid plan to take her to my uni room and show her some pictures - and my gut feeling was that she was going to accept.
I got back, saw this other girl, tried to take her to my room, nope, can't take persons of the opposite sex to your room in this uni. . .
. . . but that other girl had an appartment so things went smoothly after that.
This one doesn't - lives with parents.
Also doesn't go drinking so I cannot use some of the escalation/transitions/logistics I'd use in and around a certain venue.
So I'm back to this. . . gotta take her to a hotel somehow.
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=7272
Briefly, last time we met, I got her (again, in fact, she offered) to travel an hour down to near my place.
Met at this café (she was waiting for me at a little dark table with a candle and stuff - got her to move to a place where it was more comfortable for me to have a bite and look at a few things I wanted her to teach me).
I drove the conversation into dirty words in each language - and she told me she was a bit ashamed to be heard by the surrounding girls (one of her underlying preocupations all along IMO). I immediately pulled the "let's get out of here" and she was so eager and got up with such energy I had to tell her she was forgetting all her stuff behind as she followed me out. I teased her and she admitted she might have been "a bit nervous" around me.
We ended up strolling aimessly at classy and quiet shopping mall - discussing the different words for "penis" and "f*ck".
At some point, she teased me about my belly (which she hadn't noticed before - as I tend to go from a 6-pack to having a slight belly and back within weeks depending on training/diet) and then asked me to show her a picture of me at the beach she had seen long ago "because she loves the beach" - then, when seeing another pic of that series, she shuddered in a childish "omg, so sexy" way.
. . .but then I pressed my arm (skin) against her's a little when walking and she retracted violently. She's just random like that. . .
Later I told her how about how I had seen my dorm rules not allowing girls in and how this sucked and how in previous dorms I've been to could regularly hear "bed-shouting" at night. She was really engaged by this topic, laughing, agreeing with me and saying it was really backwards. . . and one thing that caught my attention is that, since we were on the way out down some long dark outdoors less-transited staircase, she kept stopping and turning to me; as though she wanted us to just stand there talking face-to-face. Once we got down on the street, same thing, stopped, nailed to the ground, turned to me. . . and I made the mistake of turning the dorm topic for a second to a less "sexual" aspect and there was actual RESISTANCE on her part to stray FROM the sex topic. . .
Now that I've written this - and only just now - I notice I may have missed something big. Maybe she wanted me to kiss her on the stairs? Take her somewhere else? After that she checked her watch and went home 'cause "it was time" and was adamant about it with all these "logical" reasons. . .
Now she's contacted me again, obviously hoping I ask her out somewhere but I teased her and she shut down. She'll be back. . .
I need a plan before I set up anything with her again.
So far my default plan is still upping the sex-talk and the teasing/joking - until she's very very used to it - because I feel there's a big escalation step I need before I can push the envelope any further.
Better tips/insight are welcome. . .
Note: Maybe she's trying to push me into some boyfriend role? From her banter-content last two times we met and how she remembered and brought up I had promised "we'll go somewhere when I get back", it seems that she's fantasizing about me taking her out to dinner or some boyfriend thing I don't feel like doing right now. . . That'd also explain her attempts to slow me down.
She's 28 btw. . .
Met 4 times in total.
