- Joined
- Mar 30, 2014
- Messages
- 140
This is purely a good old rant, brothers. Simply because theres no one else l can tell it to who would understand the perspective that l need them to understand it from. I am not depressed. Nor have l lost hope, l just want to scream at the wind in frustration, and appreciating just how the world doesn't give a shit about how hard l've been working. just like l expect it to be. Tough, unyielding, and giving no slacks coz am not fucking special. So whats brought this on?
Theres a chick who l had a class with last semester, and l tried to pull all the stunts l could but she would only turn me in circles. and l didn't realize what was happening since at the time i was in a bit of a runt,I've already mentioned it before. all this isn't a problem, l have been there before and am sure l will get there again, am mentally prepared for it. But last week Friday, l met the chick again, only this time l was with my pals, one of whom is a really good natural. Great looks, and gets laid like no ones business. Me and A are good friends, l used to be jealous of his successes back when l was a nerdy guy who couldn't talk to girls to save his life and l could see him navigate through the ladies like a hot knife through butter. Now, my jealousy wasn't the cain against Abel kind, l wanted to learn, and you know the kind of jealousy a student has towards the mentor, u don't hate him or harbor any ill will, but you're fucking frustrated that he can do effortlessly what you can only imagine.
So A and me started getting closer as friends as l eventually joined their social circle of guys, and l could see that what their everyday life is isnt all that, l wansnt impressed really, just drinking, playing computer games, getting high and then go out to drink and get high. Now l don't fault them for not wanting to get better with girls, l dont even fault them for thinking am desperate and chase tail too much. I accept that. But when we met the above mentioned girl, l was with A. and apparently they had been friends a while back or sthng. as l was talking to her, she told me to wait a bit and followed after A who had already left. Asked for his number because apparently where she works they want models and she wanted to use A as one. so she number closed him. Even then l still cldnt see it.
Come this week on friday and we are in class and am bored so l take A's phone and start scrolling through his photos. and l see a nudy pic of a chic fingering herself. A doenst tell me who it is just says its a chick who wants him. Kudos to him for trying to protect her, his not a blubber mouth. Later on l actually remember the talk we had about him modeling and ask him how it went with the chick and he says, "the nude is actually her, she wants me to fuck her." he shows me the messages and l can see that she really is chasing him aggressively. and l feel a part of my heart grow cold, then burn like an ice splinter being slid into me, deeper and deeper. Now its sheering hate, and burning fury then a blistering wind of jealousy, my hands tremble a little a lil sweat runs down my back..l can feel my breath, actually feel my blood running. I dont know what it was. The casual way he said it, the smirk he had or the desperation of the girls text, or the large number of flakes l've been having lately
I have never been a whiner when it comes to girls. yes l do at times fantasize about getting even with those whio have rejected me, but since finding you guys, l just laugh it off and am on to the next one. But this one hurt. I may not be handsome, but heck ...
Anyway, this torrent is trying to take over. But l pause. Take a deep deep breathe, hold it in, breathe out. In seconds, l come down from furious rage to an icy coolness. like a fucking marble.i close my eyes and open up my inner eye. I can see it. i can actually see that little part of me that is making my heart thud. Pull it out and examine it. Why? why am l so angry? the world never said it would be fair to me. Everything l will ever have, l will have to claw from its suffocating hold. nothing will be handed to me, and l know it deep down. So l calm down and read the texts. She simply wanted him. it was nothing personal to me. A hasnt noticed a clue about the whole thing. i tell him if he doesnt get a chance to shag her at his place(weird roommate) l will definitely give him my place. Coz his my bro, and that chick is a girl who simply wants some loving. He asks me about what he should do about a different girl. Funny thing is, off all his friends, he only comes to me when he wants advice about what to do with a situation in which he doesnt know how to proceed with a girl. I think maybe its because l can see the interactions differently than him. He does something and it works, but he doesnt understand why it works, thats why l think that at the end of the day, l will be a better seducer than he ever was, l learn the strategies implement them, and tweek out the kinks, he goes completely with his gut, doesnt readjust and believes his game will hold out outside the uni. I dont think it will. i have a feeling am going to have an advantage with more mature girls because most of my lays have been with older women, and university girls don't seem to bite as much. SO this is just my training field. the war ground is the entire world.
So in short, i have been reminded that being handsome has its perks. and that l have a lot to learn. But l thank the world for showing me that all l have to do to achieve my goals is work harder and smarter, and l have no problem with that, I thank you guys for your field reports and lay reports for its motivations, thank you Chase, Richard, Hector, cody and all the new guys for helping me learn what am not doing that should be done, and thank Ayn Ryand for writing down The Fountain head and Atlas Shrugged. Am not even going to chase up the numbers l have gotten up the past weeks because all am getting is "l'll let you know" am nexting nexting nexting, all the way to bang town!
Sorry for long post mates, have a potato, it helps
Theres a chick who l had a class with last semester, and l tried to pull all the stunts l could but she would only turn me in circles. and l didn't realize what was happening since at the time i was in a bit of a runt,I've already mentioned it before. all this isn't a problem, l have been there before and am sure l will get there again, am mentally prepared for it. But last week Friday, l met the chick again, only this time l was with my pals, one of whom is a really good natural. Great looks, and gets laid like no ones business. Me and A are good friends, l used to be jealous of his successes back when l was a nerdy guy who couldn't talk to girls to save his life and l could see him navigate through the ladies like a hot knife through butter. Now, my jealousy wasn't the cain against Abel kind, l wanted to learn, and you know the kind of jealousy a student has towards the mentor, u don't hate him or harbor any ill will, but you're fucking frustrated that he can do effortlessly what you can only imagine.
So A and me started getting closer as friends as l eventually joined their social circle of guys, and l could see that what their everyday life is isnt all that, l wansnt impressed really, just drinking, playing computer games, getting high and then go out to drink and get high. Now l don't fault them for not wanting to get better with girls, l dont even fault them for thinking am desperate and chase tail too much. I accept that. But when we met the above mentioned girl, l was with A. and apparently they had been friends a while back or sthng. as l was talking to her, she told me to wait a bit and followed after A who had already left. Asked for his number because apparently where she works they want models and she wanted to use A as one. so she number closed him. Even then l still cldnt see it.
Come this week on friday and we are in class and am bored so l take A's phone and start scrolling through his photos. and l see a nudy pic of a chic fingering herself. A doenst tell me who it is just says its a chick who wants him. Kudos to him for trying to protect her, his not a blubber mouth. Later on l actually remember the talk we had about him modeling and ask him how it went with the chick and he says, "the nude is actually her, she wants me to fuck her." he shows me the messages and l can see that she really is chasing him aggressively. and l feel a part of my heart grow cold, then burn like an ice splinter being slid into me, deeper and deeper. Now its sheering hate, and burning fury then a blistering wind of jealousy, my hands tremble a little a lil sweat runs down my back..l can feel my breath, actually feel my blood running. I dont know what it was. The casual way he said it, the smirk he had or the desperation of the girls text, or the large number of flakes l've been having lately
I have never been a whiner when it comes to girls. yes l do at times fantasize about getting even with those whio have rejected me, but since finding you guys, l just laugh it off and am on to the next one. But this one hurt. I may not be handsome, but heck ...
Anyway, this torrent is trying to take over. But l pause. Take a deep deep breathe, hold it in, breathe out. In seconds, l come down from furious rage to an icy coolness. like a fucking marble.i close my eyes and open up my inner eye. I can see it. i can actually see that little part of me that is making my heart thud. Pull it out and examine it. Why? why am l so angry? the world never said it would be fair to me. Everything l will ever have, l will have to claw from its suffocating hold. nothing will be handed to me, and l know it deep down. So l calm down and read the texts. She simply wanted him. it was nothing personal to me. A hasnt noticed a clue about the whole thing. i tell him if he doesnt get a chance to shag her at his place(weird roommate) l will definitely give him my place. Coz his my bro, and that chick is a girl who simply wants some loving. He asks me about what he should do about a different girl. Funny thing is, off all his friends, he only comes to me when he wants advice about what to do with a situation in which he doesnt know how to proceed with a girl. I think maybe its because l can see the interactions differently than him. He does something and it works, but he doesnt understand why it works, thats why l think that at the end of the day, l will be a better seducer than he ever was, l learn the strategies implement them, and tweek out the kinks, he goes completely with his gut, doesnt readjust and believes his game will hold out outside the uni. I dont think it will. i have a feeling am going to have an advantage with more mature girls because most of my lays have been with older women, and university girls don't seem to bite as much. SO this is just my training field. the war ground is the entire world.
So in short, i have been reminded that being handsome has its perks. and that l have a lot to learn. But l thank the world for showing me that all l have to do to achieve my goals is work harder and smarter, and l have no problem with that, I thank you guys for your field reports and lay reports for its motivations, thank you Chase, Richard, Hector, cody and all the new guys for helping me learn what am not doing that should be done, and thank Ayn Ryand for writing down The Fountain head and Atlas Shrugged. Am not even going to chase up the numbers l have gotten up the past weeks because all am getting is "l'll let you know" am nexting nexting nexting, all the way to bang town!
Sorry for long post mates, have a potato, it helps
