FR Karate Girl and Blue Balls

[Gamenoob92]

I have slacked off for a few days on approaching now due to University work and the winter setting in. But this was a girl I had approached on the street around 4-5 months ago. I had approached indirectly and had found out she represented her country in karate and was a former athlete who had recently retired. She is 31 now and I am 27. I had tried to get her out but she had been busy and then I had forgotten about her.

Recently, I kept seeing her on my Facebook messenger and texted her again. This time I was direct and invited her out on a date. She agreed. 1st date was at a bar near my house and we got drinks and the vibe was good and flirty. She told me she liked being dominated in bed and having her hair pulled, choked etc. It was a weekday evening and she had to work the next day, I had escalated physically throughout the date and she had not resisted. Finally, when we were out of the bar, I tried to kiss her and she pulled away. I just continued as if it was nothing and was teasing her and still hugging her, lifting her off the ground and spinning her etc which she seemed to love. The pull was not on and we parted ways and we decided to meet again.

For the second date which was after another 6 days, I called her over to my house and asked her to get wine and told her I would cook something and we could chill at my place and watch something. She agreed and came over with the wine. I started off slow and we sat next to each other and we slowly started cuddling and I went in for the kiss again but she pulled away. After a while I tried again and we made out. We started play wrestling and I pinned her down and she could not escape which she seemed to like and we made out some more. I rubbed her tits a bit and then tried to take off her shirt but throughout the evening she did not let me proceed any further and kept telling me "maybe next time" "I want to know you better" etc. But she lives just two blocks away from me and I have a primary partner who comes to my place all the time and I wanted this girl to be just a casual fuckbuddy at best and nothing more.

So I tried escalating a few times but she did not relent and then slowly I lost interest during the evening and when she kept saying it was late though it was only 10PM I finally let her go, walked her to the door and told her she could text me if she wanted to meet again.

Any comments and advice from you guys would be great!

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Hey Gamenoob92,

Sounds like a great start to me. Good first and second date choices (logistically and planning dinner back at yours). You probably could've pulled to your place on the first date and closed, but no harm in the second date.

There's two things I noticed.

First, you going aggressively for the kiss. If she's pulling away, don't keep chasing the kiss right away. She should melt into your kiss. Give it time like you did later or I recommend not kissing her lips at all and instead maybe saying she smells good, moving her hair back, and start with kissing her neck. Much more sexual and will get her in a good mood quicker.

Second, you need to read up on handling resistance. When she says "maybe next time" you could say "oh but there's no time like the present. Who knows if we'll even be here tomorrow?" or something and then keep escalating. Two steps forward, one back. Fractionation. Etc.

Let me give you a hint. She wants you to dominate her and take control. Girls tell me their fantasies and guess what - they include giving the guy resistance in their fantasies. They don't want to seem too easy or eager - both harm their image.

So learn to overcome her resistance. Don't know if you'll get a third shot but this is where you should start.