Keep fucking up at online game

[ramirezs316]

First off, I know I should be going out and meeting girls. The online thing is mainly to try to maximize my dates during the week when I can't go out. I've been on pof and okcupid for six months. I've gotten a ton of numbers but only a few dates, which is to be expected since girls seem more likely to flake on a guy they've never seen in person.

My thing is online game is so dependent on texting to get rapport that that is where I'm tripping up. Are the rules the same once you pull the number? I'll usually ask for a date first, then ask for the number, and then set up dates. But the ones who need to build connection first start trapping me in rapport building conversations till I either mess up or they don't want to date. I'm struggling finding the balance between rapport building and then straight up "let's go out." The past few times I've scored the numbers of some legitimately hot girls. I was able to build rapport and flirt but when I asked them out, they went silent. It seems like all the legit hot girls I just can't get out even if the flirting is strong. Is this just par for the online course?

 

[Thinkingenigma]

Hey man, first of all, you should be pitching a meetup within the first 3-4 messages you send. This lets her know that you mean business, and gives her an opportunity to cut the thread without wasting too much of your time if she just wants to chat.

Second, What kind of place do you live in? If you're in a bigger city, try getting on late at night and sending something like "Good girls aren't up at this hour" " to girls that are online. You have to have the sexually suggestive profile to back it up, but if a girl responds to that, it generally means that she's pretty interested.

Why don't you post a link to your profile and I'l give it a once over. 90% of conversion problems have to do with how your profile comes across and how you calibrate your messaging. Fix those two things, and you're golden.

 

[ramirezs316]

Hey man, first of all, you should be pitching a meetup within the first 3-4 messages you send. This lets her know that you mean business, and gives her an opportunity to cut the thread without wasting too much of your time if she just wants to chat.

Second, What kind of place do you live in? If you're in a bigger city, try getting on late at night and sending something like "Good girls aren't up at this hour" " to girls that are online. You have to have the sexually suggestive profile to back it up, but if a girl responds to that, it generally means that she's pretty interested.

Why don't you post a link to your profile and I'l give it a once over. 90% of conversion problems have to do with how your profile comes across and how you calibrate your messaging. Fix those two things, and you're golden.

My messaging has been getting more playful. The first lay I got was pretty much quick messaging, getting out within a day or two and going from there. I live between two big cities, so there's no shortage of different types of girls. I seem to always find the ones who either really want to find a relationship or are too shy when I come on strong though. And the ones who would be down are either a) not my type or b) I'm not their type lol.

Here's my profile: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=65299380
ramstar22 if the link won't work

 

[Estate]

I've laid off it some time ago as I was finding the quality of women online to be... a little lacking. But I was on and off it through my 20's and got pretty good.

First off, I know there's a million columns out there advising on how to construct the best first message. I feel it's a waste of time. No matter what you say (as long as it's not stupidly lame or overly weird) doesn't matter, she'll check your photos and read your intro and either reply or not. Write a short maybe 2 paragraph message and send it to all you want. You can spend time to say something about her profile but again, I found it made no difference, if she likes you she'll reply, and then you can take the time to pick things out of her profile to talk.

Depending on the pace, 3-5 messages over the span of a couple of days and the ask for the number. Again, she will give it or not. If she "wants to get to know you more online"... she'll waste your time. If she promptly gives her number, you're golden, if not, don't waste time trying to convince her.

Once you get the number... again, 3-4 texts with some fluff talk "How's your week, blah blah" and set the date. Confirm the day off, if it's your style and done.

The problem with continuing either the emails or the texts is that the whole thing can easily grow stale before a date even happens. Get the number, set a date, go on date. That's all you need.
For extra points... give her your number and tell her to text you... in my experience:

1. She texts... very interested.
2. She replies online with her number... somewhat interested.
3. Plays hardball... forget her.

 

[Thinkingenigma]

I've laid off it some time ago as I was finding the quality of women online to be... a little lacking. But I was on and off it through my 20's and got pretty good.

First off, I know there's a million columns out there advising on how to construct the best first message. I feel it's a waste of time. No matter what you say (as long as it's not stupidly lame or overly weird) doesn't matter, she'll check your photos and read your intro and either reply or not. Write a short maybe 2 paragraph message and send it to all you want. You can spend time to say something about her profile but again, I found it made no difference, if she likes you she'll reply, and then you can take the time to pick things out of her profile to talk.

Depending on the pace, 3-5 messages over the span of a couple of days and the ask for the number. Again, she will give it or not. If she "wants to get to know you more online"... she'll waste your time. If she promptly gives her number, you're golden, if not, don't waste time trying to convince her.

Once you get the number... again, 3-4 texts with some fluff talk "How's your week, blah blah" and set the date. Confirm the day off, if it's your style and done.

The problem with continuing either the emails or the texts is that the whole thing can easily grow stale before a date even happens. Get the number, set a date, go on date. That's all you need.
For extra points... give her your number and tell her to text you... in my experience:

1. She texts... very interested.
2. She replies online with her number... somewhat interested.
3. Plays hardball... forget her.

^THIS

Also, Ramirez, you seriously just need to play hardball more, and possibly spice up your profile a bit (Perhaps get some sexier pics. Looks like you have a photographer friend or two). You have model good looks, so if you just shorten your contact to meet time, you should be golden.

 

[ramirezs316]

I've laid off it some time ago as I was finding the quality of women online to be... a little lacking. But I was on and off it through my 20's and got pretty good.

First off, I know there's a million columns out there advising on how to construct the best first message. I feel it's a waste of time. No matter what you say (as long as it's not stupidly lame or overly weird) doesn't matter, she'll check your photos and read your intro and either reply or not. Write a short maybe 2 paragraph message and send it to all you want. You can spend time to say something about her profile but again, I found it made no difference, if she likes you she'll reply, and then you can take the time to pick things out of her profile to talk.

Depending on the pace, 3-5 messages over the span of a couple of days and the ask for the number. Again, she will give it or not. If she "wants to get to know you more online"... she'll waste your time. If she promptly gives her number, you're golden, if not, don't waste time trying to convince her.

Once you get the number... again, 3-4 texts with some fluff talk "How's your week, blah blah" and set the date. Confirm the day off, if it's your style and done.

The problem with continuing either the emails or the texts is that the whole thing can easily grow stale before a date even happens. Get the number, set a date, go on date. That's all you need.
For extra points... give her your number and tell her to text you... in my experience:

1. She texts... very interested.
2. She replies online with her number... somewhat interested.
3. Plays hardball... forget her.

^THIS

Also, Ramirez, you seriously just need to play hardball more, and possibly spice up your profile a bit (Perhaps get some sexier pics. Looks like you have a photographer friend or two). You have model good looks, so if you just shorten your contact to meet time, you should be golden.

Thanks. I spiced up my profile a little a few weeks ago lol. I actually took the photos myself. I know photography so I was able to set up the shoots. I've definitely been becoming more direct and no nonsense, probably because I finally have actual abundance and after countless texting and losing girls, messaging has started to click with me. As for my looks, I think I'm pretty good looking so its always been frustrating that I haven't had the game to back it up. It's getting there though.