Kiss on first date?

[TheChased]

Quick question here about kissing!

As of now I can't pull girls home on the first date because of logistics problems, I have to wait until second date. Just moved in to my mom's place, so it would be weird taking her here on the first date. I try to keep girls on the low in the house when I'm sober, and girls aren't that interested in taking a guy home on the first date. So, should you kiss the girl on the first date? Or would you wait until the second date, when you're at your/her place and you actually can escalate things? As of now I have been on dates and the girls are very receptive and sometimes push for a second date immediately. My question re-framed; will it hurt my escalation on the second date if I kiss her on the first date, or will it help?

I do ofc try to ask if we can go to her place if she lives near by, but it doesn't work all the time. They're mostly more eager to do that on the second date.

I do not talk about nightgame, because then my logistics kinda works, so I go for insta pull. (I don't care, because then I don't have to explain to them that I don't live alone, and when we get here she's already DTF, so she wouldn't care. Also my mom's asleep then, so I don't have to run in to her, which I don't want with a girl in my arm.)
Just sold my car too, so I don't have that option either.

I really hope to fix my logistics pretty soon, but it will take some months, so I have to find out about this shit now.

Happy for your inputs!
-TC

 

[Bboy100]

Just moved in to my mom's place, so it would be weird taking her here on the first date.

If an apartment, maybe. But if its an actual house, its not as weird as you'd think. If she's chill (i.e. not against you having sex for religious reasons or others), its really not that big a deal.

So, should you kiss the girl on the first date?

I'm starting to lean towards no. I've literally had 0 second dates with girls I didn't sleep with on the first. Ever. So I don't know for sure what does get you second dates. But I'll tell you what definitely doesn't work. ..full on making out with a girl. I've been doing that for a while now in hopes of escalating. And like I said, unless I seal the deal...a failed escalation (even making out counts) is pretty much a guaranteed way to lose a girl. Conversely, girls who I DIDNT kiss ( usually because I didn't like her for one reason or another), have often chased me for second dates. Maybe a light kiss is ok. I'm not sure. That's what I'm going to try next.

On a theoretical level, I feel like its not as cut and dry as do or don't. I think kissing has a huge effect on attainability. Kissing= Massive spike in attainability. Not Kissing her (assuming she's otherwise attracted to you)=drop in attainability.
So if you already seem like you're "too good to be true", not kissing her by the end of the date might cause her to panic and go into auto-rejection. Conversely, if she already sees you as attainable, kissing her would probably spike it, thereby causing you to lose your intrigue/ be seen as boring or "too easy".

Also, the vibe you project might be important too. If she believes you easily could have kissed her but chose not to, your value will remain unaffected or even go up. But if she thinks you just pussied out, it'll probably fall pretty dramatically.


But yeah, I'd love to hear other people's answers. Cause I'm somewhat in the dark about this too.

 

[TheChased]

Thanks for your respons Bboy!

Just moved in to my mom's place, so it would be weird taking her here on the first date.

If an apartment, maybe. But if its an actual house, its not as weird as you'd think. If she's chill (i.e. not against you having sex for religious reasons or others), its really not that big a deal.

Ohh no, my mom's chill as fuck, so no problem with me having sex. She's not religious at all actually. Thing is, it's the girls I'm thinking on, who wants to come to my place and maybe run in to my mom on our way to my room? I don't know, just moved in again, so it could be me thinking too much. Anyhow, I don't know what I would invite the girl over for, as I kinda only have a bed and a TV (perfect if I get the girl over tho.)

Yeah, as of now I haven't kissed the girl on the first date, so I would personally lean towards no myself. Could be other things that makes them want a second date, don't know why you lose them after first date if you don't sleep with them on the first. I don't seem to have run in to that problem yet, so never seen it as a problem.
And no, I wouldn't go for making out on the first date, it would be a good bye kiss if I implemented it. I give them a hug and say good bye now, and I'm very cool about it, so I don't think I give out a vibe that says I pussied out. Because I didn't puss out, the vibe would in that case be something she imagined. What I'm a bit afraid of is going in the boyfriend-zone by not kissing at all, and that would just complicate things when I sleep with her on the next date.

Hope on more input on this!
-TC

 

[Bboy100]

Anyhow, I don't know what I would invite the girl over for, as I kinda only have a bed and a TV (perfect if I get the girl over tho.)

A common misconception is that she's supposed legit believe that you're at your place to do whatever you suggested. The meaning behind "Hey, let's go watch a movie at mine" is very obvious. Same with "Let's cook Dinner", "Let's hang out", "Let's get drinks" or w.e other reason you can think of. In fact, she should know you have sexual intent. If she didn't know, she might be very unpleasantly surprised when you make a move on her. Think of the excuse as more of a formality than anything else.

I would worry more about getting her invested enough in you to actually say yes to coming to yours in the first place. That's what's most important. I would take "Hey, lets get out of here" after a well done seduction over a well-thought out excuse with a mediocre seduction any day of the week.

So to answer your question "Hey, lets go catch a movie at mine" is a perfectly good excuse.

Thing is, it's the girls I'm thinking on, who wants to come to my place and maybe run in to my mom on our way to my room?

Not a big deal. Just decisively lead her to your room and she will follow.

What I'm a bit afraid of is going in the boyfriend-zone by not kissing at all, and that would just complicate things when I sleep with her on the next date.

Disqualify yourself as a boyfriend. Tell her that for [Insert reason which has nothing to do with HER] you aren't looking for a relationship atm.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

TC I can't help but think of Howard's mom on Big Bang Theory when you talk about your mom. HOWARD!! yes mom. haha.

Technically the excuse for going back to your place gives her a denial if someone asks her why she went your place. For example her with a friend.

Friend: Hey I heard you were over at TCs house last night. Where you doing the nasty?
Her: No I just went over to watch a movie. (even though you gave her four orgasms, she just watch a movie, lol.)
Friend: Cool. So what did you watch?
Her: The Notebook

I have seen conflicting information on kissing on the first date on this site. I would like to see opinions from the experienced guys.

BDSC

 

[TheChased]

Thanks for the response Bboy

I would worry more about getting her invested enough in you to actually say yes to coming to yours in the first place. That's what's most important. I would take "Hey, lets get out of here" after a well done seduction over a well-thought out excuse with a mediocre seduction any day of the week.

So to answer your question "Hey, lets go catch a movie at mine" is a perfectly good excuse.

Ohh, I'm not worrying over getting her invested enough, that's something I have a fairly good grasp on. Anyhow, if we can't go to her place, ofc I'm gonna take her to mine.

Disqualify yourself as a boyfriend. Tell her that for [Insert reason which has nothing to do with HER] you aren't looking for a relationship atm.

Yeah, that's something I'm working on, because it seems like most of the ladies I bed gets some kind of feelings after sex. Not a problem if you're a douchebag (which I can be, because I don't want to get in a relationship), but I don't want their feelings to get hurt. I don't seem to have run on a problem where she won't be bedded because of seeing me as boyfriend-material. More her feelings I'm worried about, but it's something I'm working on.

TC I can't help but think of Howard's mom on Big Bang Theory when you talk about your mom. HOWARD!! yes mom. haha.

Hahahaha, now I hear her voice in my head! But no, she's mega chill, I'm just not that guy who likes girls meeting my mom when it's just a bang. I think you know why, so we're not going to go more in to that.

A common misconception is that she's supposed legit believe that you're at your place to do whatever you suggested.

Technically the excuse for going back to your place gives her a denial if someone asks her why she went your place.

You're both right, I don't know why I didn't thought of it like that. Maybe I was worried about her not coming because of the obvious reason. I actually do have a date next week where we're going to "Make dinner", so it's not like I don't do it at all. But I think we're getting a bit off topic right now.


Anyhow, I would really like to know about kissing on the first date :/ Can't remember any articles about it either, hmm. Hope we get our answer!

-TC