radeng,
That being said, do you guys think I should go for kiss on info date or no kiss? Clearly it'd have to be in public, and id try to date compress and have her over for dinner later this week. Also, should I cut it shorter since I am not planning on pulling home?
Any thoughts?
I'm not actually 100% in agreement with Chase here that "no kiss" is the way to go on an informational date. There's a solid chance that I would have missed one of the best relationships of my life had I not kiss-closed a girl at the end of a first date. But I believe there are certain rules to be followed for it.
I am just going to make this a short informational get to know ya type date and not push any further unless we just have an amazing connection.
In general, I think these types of dates just have a low hit rate if you actually want to have sex with the girl. From my personal experience, it's always best to schedule a date when you know the logistics to get laid are there. If you like a girl and want to bed her, you should schedule the date so that that possibility is always there. Think of it this way: what if you schedule this date and this girl ends up being amazing, but you didn't plan it logistically so that you could escalate further? Now you two both leave and you possibly never hear from her again because you didn't invite her home.
One of the things I always tell guys to do is
invite a girl home at the end of the date. Unless you find out she's just completely off-putting in some way that you couldn't have realized before, there's pretty much no reason to not to this. If you can't do it, then it means you should schedule another day/night where you
can do it. At the very least, you want to be able to put the offer on the table for the girl. She
has to know that you want sex from her. If she can't figure that out, then she's not going to waste her time seeing you for a second date and would rather look for a man who she
knows will take her to bed the second she lets him do so.
With that in mind, the best way to kiss-close a girl on the first date is the following:
after you invite a girl home, if she declines your invitation (after persisting), you can kiss-close her to create some sexual tension and suspense for what WOULD have happened had she decided to go home with you. The idea is to get her to think about what would have had happened had she said YES to your invitation. Would you two have made love? Would you have been the man of her dreams? Would it have been the best sex she ever had? Well, those questions will be the ones you want her to be asking herself so that she eventually decides, "I like this guy and I want to know the answer -- I will definitely do Date #2!"
As far as the actual kissing goes, from the experimentation I've had,
the best way to execute the kiss is to give her just enough that she gets really into it, but then PULL AWAY when her tongue is half-way down your throat. Then you can give her a sexy look in the eyes and say, "I thought you had to leave?
" The idea behind this concept is to give her enough that she wants more, but not so much that she feels "satisfied" or that you would be really easy for her. She needs to feel challenge, suspense, and tension. Giving her a passionate kiss and then gracefully pulling back at the peak of it will leave her hungry for more, and that's how you get a girl to think about you for the rest of the week.
The difficult part about your situation is that you want to do this without inviting her home. Without inviting her home, you aren't really letting her know what you want (because a
real man will actually take the steps necessary to lead a woman to sex). So without doing that, "kissing" her just becomes a form of "I don't want sex from you" or "I'm not man enough to lead you to sex" so "here's a consolation prize for you/myself." Girls don't like consolation prizes and get bored/annoyed with them really quickly.
So, with that in mind, if you're really intent on not inviting her home, then I would probably avoid the kiss (as ProblemSolving mentioned). You would want to build up enough value during the date, however, that she realizes you might be something special. But in most cases, this only really builds up Provider value rather than Lover value (since a Lover was having the date in the first place to hopefully take her to bed later that night, not to have
another date). So even if you do get her on another date, you now will most certainly have to run date compression because your Provider value exceeds your Lover value.
I hope this makes sense. =)
- Franco
