Lacking chemistry in conversations

[Man-O]

Experienced it a couple of times on dates and a lot of times when night gaming.
Talking with a girl, we either seem to have a friendly or cozy or boring vibe but nothing else and they always go with me trying to deep dive and get it sexual but there never is any attraction or tension (the only tension is the silent one). I just don't get the good conversations with some girls where the dialogue is mutual and both feel there's chemistry. So what could be going wrong?

Ex. Had a date today. A girl I hardly talked with on the dance floor. Got her number and first texted her 2 days (forgot to text her right away). Texting goes fine and she seems into meeting me. I had planned to take her to my place but it was raining so she took the bus instead of bicycle (fml). There's never a "real" chemistry, she's never really asking much into me and it just feels like.. It never got right, even though I tried to qualify, build tension etc.. Maybe I was too passive and was afraid of being more flirtatious and daring, lacking initiative?

Would be nice to hear what you guys have done to handle these situations.

Also, how do you avoid paying for both of you on dates when you've just greeted each other on a bar or a cafe before sitting somewhere to talk?

 

[foggy]

You are not going to have chemistry with a every girl out there! Yes, if you have nothing in common with a girl then your whole interaction with her is going to feel stale and boring. But you will come across girls who you have things in common with, and then you start relating to them and it builds chemistry. Here's an example. At my college, a lot of girls I meet are in a program called "Child and Youth Worker." I worked in a kindergarten class, so we start talking about kids and joking around about how cute but annoying they are. I can feel the chemistry being built. They are more likely to go along with the interaction and wherever you decide to take it.

If I have nothing in common with a girl, I usually end the conversation and meet a new girl who I have something in common with.

I'm interested in hearing how other people handle situations in which they are lacking chemistry with a girl.

 

[Man-O]

I only eject from girls who aren't talkative or got a bad influence/vibe.

I have countless of experiences with girls I had nothing in common but still lead to great times, so it's not that.

 

[Lotus]

IMO it sounds like the girls are uninterested and in auto-pilot. You have to break them out of auto-pilot and get them invested in the conversation.

I don't know how your conversations go but make her work in answering your questions. Be challenging.

If you have example conversations that help.

Lotus