The one time that I had a girl like that stop and come to an instant date I think I just told her she looked incredible. I had posted the report here in fact. She was the kind of girl that I could not explain how perfect she looked in my eyes, I was thinking that if I got with her, I wouldn't mind being only with her forever and just focus hard on other things to create an amazing life for us both. And this was even after the instant date where I got to know her a bit.
Sadly I did some weird things, basically teasing her too much, and in a way I showed a lot of dissimilarity. I thought that her being so attractive and successful would never look into someone jobless with no visible future like me, and I went into painting her as someone who only focuses on money, and trying to prove that I am above that, thinking that I will show her how valuable I am, but basically autorejecting her.
This sounds like a pretty clear case of a girl you instantly knew was your girl, and she felt that.
Also sounds like you know where things went off the rails. It's one of those things you just learn over time as you spend time with girls, that your 'value' as a lover doesn't come from things like your job and your 401k, but instead from the experience she has of being with you - not just while you're having sex, but talking, teasing, and playing the seduction game with you.
You're giving her what all the other guys, for all their 'high value', have no idea how to give her - an adventure into the possibilities of
right now. You're showing her what she can be right now, what she already
is but doesn't know she is, and what she can experience, in every moment, stripped of all the fetters and mundane things that she has always longed to throw away.
The problem is it has never happened that another girl I liked a lot was open to even spend more time with me one on one romantically, no matter the approach.
That's why I have also tried being more stoic, or more playful, basically seeing how I can change things up for a different result, but all these things generally lead here:
Do you think that perhaps the way you responded to the first girl was more spontaneous and genuine, and afterward you were simply trying to reproduce that to get a similar reaction? Or do you feel that you genuinely showed other girls how you felt?
So this is exactly how I would feel and operate ideally if I sensed that my interest is reciprocated:
It simply feels that most of the time, even from the start of the interaction I come off as too much for these girls. They don't seem to be enjoying how openly excited I am for them, and it feels they want to back off and stay away. So it makes me think I have to calculate how much excitement I show, and that by showing how into them I am they get a feeling off: "Wow this guy really is into me a lot, cute, but chill out a bit".
That sounds immediately to me like neediness.
There is a big, but in some ways subtle, difference between neediness and showing the kind of interest and desire that women like to receive. For me, the easiest way to tell is how my expression of it makes me feel - does it make me feel strong, happy, exhilarated, as if expressing it is satisfying in itself regardless of what she does? Or does it make me feel weak, unconstituted, scattered, dependent on her reaction? Sometimes you feel like you are expressing yourself a certain way, but the emotional feedback you get from your own expressions tells you a different story.
The way I look at it, every interaction I have with girls I try to make a complete experience of affirmation for myself. My goal is to reflect her back to herself through my perception. I look at her the way I look at a beautiful painting, absorbing her, transmuting her, letting her activate and stir things in me, and showing it all to her, together with a soft smile, on my face.
And I walk toward her the way I walk toward that painting, wanting to be near it, wanting to absorb more of it, wanting it to touch me and speak to me and maybe even change me - listening to its call.
If she refuses my approach, the experience is still complete to me, as an affirmation, as an act of courage for myself, an act of cohesion between my perception and my drive and my actions. It is as if the painting faded away as I approached it, but I am not bothered by this, because it will appear again soon, in a different way and in a different place.
So in the end, although this is also how I feel things would be working:
I have not really experienced it. I have had girls flattered by how I expressed this excitement and interest towards them, but not much beyond that.
It could be that I am not expressing myself effectively. Difficult to say exactly what is off though, when I can't see myself from the outside and the things I try changing don't seem to bring any different results.
I don't want to presume too much but I get the sense that you are so focused on being successful with women that you have forgotten what it means to you, you cannot express anymore to these women anything spontaneous about your dream of yourself and them together.
What kind of experience do you want to have with them? What fantasy puts a smile on your face when you think about it? What sort of man do you want to be when you are with them, how do you want them to look at you and respond to you? Don't forget these things! Immerse yourself in them regularly and keep them in mind. Find ways to express this man, even when women are not around.
Perhaps with each approach, even with each time you have sex with a new girl, you will only experience a moment or two of that fantasy realized. But it is enough! With patience, more of those moments will come and with greater frequency - as long as you hold onto that ideal, as long as you seek it in every moment you have with women, as long as you have gratitude for those moments when they come, and patience when they don't. As long as you don't let women and sex become something mechanical and consumptive, but a fulfillment of that ideal.
As Nietzche said so well, "he who has a why can bear any how". The why of seduction is something that isn't usually emphasized very much, but without it, it's going to be very hard for a man to sustain himself as he goes out and plunges into the confusion, rejection, and existential angst he has to go through to realize his potential with women.
www.girlschase.com
OMG SHE'S PERFECT!
