FR Lawyer chick wanted me to pay for her number

[ThePhoenix]

One Monday afternoon six weeks ago I met a tall African girl. Yet another one. Magnets.

Incidentally, I am neither tall, nor African, nor a girl.

This one, let's call her Zauna, was also robust and a little cocky. Love it! Nice features, too.

She was shopping in a discount big box store, in the womens' undergarments section, with a friend. (What am I doing in that section? ) I stopped her as her friend turned down another aisle, such that I didn't really encounter the friend.

Quite randomly and the result of little else to open with, I presented Zauna with a box of hosiery and asked her—likely in a deadpan manner—if she thought it would bring world peace.

Weeks later I don't recall her response, but we spoke for a couple minutes. She is a student of law, and community something-or-other. This was by far not my best approach, but at least the girl did stay put for as long as I wanted her to, despite my sensing that she wanted to rejoin her friend.

My proposal of a coffee meet got a somewhat lukewarm assent. (Soraya, the tall Ghanaian from several weeks later, closed much better.) I gave Zauna my phone on a new contact sheet to enter her number into.

She entered her number into the name field, not entering her name at all. It wasn't the easiest name to spell, either, so I was left not knowing how. Sometimes I type the name myself (or occasionally a humorous nickname) and have the girl check it, which could have solved this problem.

As she entered her number she remarked that she should be making me pay for it.

I so wish that here I had've looked at her as though she were slightly daft and said, "What are you talking about? I should be making you pay for me to take it!"

As much as I understood what an obnoxious frame she was setting—total shit test—, I was caught so off-guard that my only defense was to poke her and tell her with a somewhat dismissive chuckle that she was "such a lawyer."

Two hours after, I sent her via SMS:

Hey Miss Lawyer Z.. It's Phoenix! Nice meeting you! Save my #

No answer and I left it until Wednesday:

Morning, how do you spell your name? Is it Zaunah?

No answer. Saturday morning:

Hey you! (; I'll give you one more free text and then I'll have to start making you pay for them :P

No answer, so I wrote her off.

But five weeks later, this wasn't quite The End. I've posted the continuation as a question here.

 

[Will_V]

You'd probably have gotten some good advice if you'd posted the whole interaction - I know it was weeks ago but something to remember is when the text doesn't go well it's almost always an issue with the approach.

This girl was clearly not sold on you at the point where she put her number into your phone, which is definitely not what you want. Could be many reasons for that.

 

[ThePhoenix]

You'd probably have gotten some good advice if you'd posted the whole interaction - I know it was weeks ago but something to remember is when the text doesn't go well it's almost always an issue with the approach.

True.

Indeed I probably should've written it up while fresher in my mind. Right now I have strict rules severely limiting what "overhead"—such as writeups—I'm allowed to do towards game while in my Western country which I don't really want to be in. Those give some exceptions, but interactions where the girl doesn't respond at all isn't one of them.

The rules were intended to avoid "wheel-spinning", like I take a whole day to do one approach and then another day to write it up in excruciating detail because I barely do any approaches so I over-analyze. The rules made sense under the assumption that severe approach inhibition would inevitably make game here a waste of time and that to make any real progress I needed to move to somewhere where more favorable demographics would help me approach much more frequently, so my time was better spent working out that move.

However, recently I very unexpectedly figured out (virtually overnight) how to reprogram my brain to not chicken out much at all, so now I am approaching way, way more girls—especially of my preferred minority—than I expected was possible in this place.

The rules were not well thought out towards that very unexpected scenario. It does not make sense to make lots of approaches and not learn from those approaches that die quickly, which as you aptly point out are usually from the most crucial errors.

I would drop the restrictions entirely, except that I still have several other reasons to want to prioritize relocating, and I tend to get hyper-focused, so if my focus shifts to game because it has become promising, relocation risks falling by the wayside. So I'm torn. Definitely I need to adjust the rules. I'm probably going to change them from qualitative to quantitative (e.g., max kB written per month) so that I can employ whatever type of overhead is most useful, while not letting it get out of hand.