Leading vs Asking - Let's vs Shall we

[asmi8803]

Can somebody clear up when you should be saying,
"Let's go for that drink, what's your schedule like..." and
"Shall we go for that drink, what's your schedule like..."

Chase mentions in one of his posts that saying, "Shall we" lets the girl know you are considering her and stops her feeling you're telling her what to do. And I did have a girl tell me something along those lines. That she felt I just told her rather than ask her. This is what confuses me as I thought we should be leading and assuming etc.

Some PUA's recommend to stop asking and start taking the lead and say, "Let's go for that drink"

Could someone help clear this up, when do we 'Ask' and when do we 'Lead and assume'

Cheers

 

[Marty]

I like "Why don't we ... ?"

That's just my preference, and I am not too experienced, so you'd better consult others. I think tone of voice, body language and timing are likely more important than the words you say here.

Another thing I like is including the words "with me", for example "Would you like to have dinner with me later this week?"... I think I got that from Chase's eBook.

 

[asmi8803]

Yes those are both good, I agree tonality and body language play apart too. I'm thinking more when texting though as those can't be communicated through text.

It' just I've had a girl comment on it and chase mentioned saying Shall we in one of his article so it doesn't sound like you're trying to force it on the girl but then I've also read that you should be saying Let's instead of asking questions.

Thanks for your reply.