FU Learning Experience

[TheEcho]

Currently doing nofap again and it makes me go crazy... Part of why I don't do it most of the time lol. Trying it to hopefully help my recent escapades at the gym, but those aren't panning out (yet) so I decided to take that energy and go grab groceries at peak time (I usually go when it's dead because I can). Saw a cute Latina in a nice bright white and green outfit go down an aisle so I followed. She was halfway through it, parked between her cart and a stand of food. The stand was in the way, blocking her outfit, which would make it weird for me to comment on it and given her pinned position, can't really stop in front of her without setting off major alarms. I passed and acted interested in the aisle items, but she walked to the other end looking for stuff.

I walk away and quickly decide to screw it and went back. She was back at her cart:

Sin #1/#2: I hunched over my cart for whatever reason. Didn't really open her first.
Me: Those colors look really nice on you
Her: *quietly* Ohh thanks
Me: Where are you from?
Sin #3: I was kind of walking forward a bit instead of planting myself
Her: _______ *starting to push her cart (in the opposite direction of me)*
Me: Ahh cool, are you here for school?
Her: Yeah
Sort of Sin #4
Me: Ahhh, you're running away (said cheekily)
Her: *awkward agreement sounds* *went off*


At first it felt like... seriously, girls don't even want to talk to me now? Then I pushed myself to breakdown the scenario and see where it went wrong, as noted above. Gets me back in the mindset of pick-up as an art and not "be the whole package, have no challenges, be less than the whole package, have nothing" which is the toxic messaging I seem to hear everywhere else today. It is hard to not believe it, given the crazy 0 streak I've been on this year, but it was pretty apparent why this went bad. I wanted to start building back good habits of reflecting and sharing situations. I'm conflicted about nofap though, as the first half of the day I feel an improvement to productivity and tenacity, but by afternoon, I'm a fucking horndog and can't think of anything else. Given my current life situation, I also don't feel too confident about reliably fixing the lack of sex.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Currently doing nofap again and it makes me go crazy... Part of why I don't do it most of the time lol. Trying it to hopefully help my recent escapades at the gym, but those aren't panning out (yet) so I decided to take that energy and go grab groceries at peak time (I usually go when it's dead because I can). Saw a cute Latina in a nice bright white and green outfit go down an aisle so I followed. She was halfway through it, parked between her cart and a stand of food. The stand was in the way, blocking her outfit, which would make it weird for me to comment on it and given her pinned position, can't really stop in front of her without setting off major alarms. I passed and acted interested in the aisle items, but she walked to the other end looking for stuff.

I walk away and quickly decide to screw it and went back. She was back at her cart:

Sin #1/#2: I hunched over my cart for whatever reason. Didn't really open her first.
Me: Those colors look really nice on you
Her: *quietly* Ohh thanks
Me: Where are you from?
Sin #3: I was kind of walking forward a bit instead of planting myself
Her: _______ *starting to push her cart (in the opposite direction of me)*
Me: Ahh cool, are you here for school?
Her: Yeah
Sort of Sin #4
Me: Ahhh, you're running away (said cheekily)
Her: *awkward agreement sounds* *went off*


At first it felt like... seriously, girls don't even want to talk to me now? Then I pushed myself to breakdown the scenario and see where it went wrong, as noted above. Gets me back in the mindset of pick-up as an art and not "be the whole package, have no challenges, be less than the whole package, have nothing" which is the toxic messaging I seem to hear everywhere else today. It is hard to not believe it, given the crazy 0 streak I've been on this year, but it was pretty apparent why this went bad. I wanted to start building back good habits of reflecting and sharing situations. I'm conflicted about nofap though, as the first half of the day I feel an improvement to productivity and tenacity, but by afternoon, I'm a fucking horndog and can't think of anything else. Given my current life situation, I also don't feel too confident about reliably fixing the lack of sex.

It likely wasn’t your approach angle or anything,

it was most likely your energy, vibe, fundamentals etc.

Just reading it I could tell you were really nervous and that was the source of all of those “sins”

I get into some shit moods when I am having a bad day approaching but I’ve figured out at least a few times now, how to still put on a show during the approach and get the number during those bad days, totally masking my emotions, and it works

@Hector Papi Castillo just told me to tighten the fundamentals when the mood is off, play the part so to speak

but when I’m super anxious?

I use it as an advantage, turn the mindset from “oh shit what if I fuck up and come off creepy”

to

“oh shit her ass is so big, I GOTTA talk to her”

I use it as like one of those mushrooms in mariokart that gives you a speed boost, because it gives me that extra enthusiasm

But if your just rusty, which I’m assuming you are, your just gonna have to burn through a few “practice” approaches before you get rid of that AA mindset.

Hope this helps,

Biggus

 

[Kaida]

Eh man. This is one approach. I had at least 3-5 similar things happen to me just last night at the club. Approach it from a skill building mindset

girls don't even want to talk to me now?

Its a single girl man. Just the other day I had a super hot girl give me a fake number and put the name as “sasha” which I knew it wasn’t.

She turned to her group of friends and they all laughed at me after. I just brushed it off and found a new girl.

Later when walking on campus with my shirt off (I just came from the gym) I walked past her. The way she was oogling my chest was obvious. I would have approached again but I waited too long.

The thing you described is not bad at all tbh. You have to internalize the mindset of “its not me, it’s my approach / my body language / the environment”. With that you can easily brush off any rejection.

And yes, still analyze every single thing you did post-approach. Just don’t beat yourself up.

 

[TheEcho]

Eh man. This is one approach.

Except I've approached over 50 girls this year with 0 dates, it's honestly felt insane

 

[Kaida]

Except I've approached over 50 girls this year with 0 dates, it's honestly felt insane

How much of a beginner are you? If I remember correctly you’re trying to get back in the game after being out of it for a while, right?

I’m in university so my experience is likely easier than you, but I’ve probably approached about 70 girls in the past 2 weeks I was here. Heck, I’ve approached 10+ in one day.

I’ve had about 5 dates and 2 lays. 70:5 approach to date ratio. Thats a 7% ratio , in a place thats easier than you. You’re percentage is probably around 2% if we assume were similar in skill

Approach more man. Come at it with an analytical mindset. Theres nothing wrong with you.

If there is something wrong, it’s probably just inner game and will be fixed with enough approaches and a more resillient mindset.

 

[Will_V]

Currently doing nofap again and it makes me go crazy... Part of why I don't do it most of the time lol. Trying it to hopefully help my recent escapades at the gym, but those aren't panning out (yet) so I decided to take that energy and go grab groceries at peak time (I usually go when it's dead because I can). Saw a cute Latina in a nice bright white and green outfit go down an aisle so I followed. She was halfway through it, parked between her cart and a stand of food. The stand was in the way, blocking her outfit, which would make it weird for me to comment on it and given her pinned position, can't really stop in front of her without setting off major alarms. I passed and acted interested in the aisle items, but she walked to the other end looking for stuff.

I walk away and quickly decide to screw it and went back. She was back at her cart:

Sin #1/#2: I hunched over my cart for whatever reason. Didn't really open her first.
Me: Those colors look really nice on you
Her: *quietly* Ohh thanks
Me: Where are you from?
Sin #3: I was kind of walking forward a bit instead of planting myself
Her: _______ *starting to push her cart (in the opposite direction of me)*
Me: Ahh cool, are you here for school?
Her: Yeah
Sort of Sin #4
Me: Ahhh, you're running away (said cheekily)
Her: *awkward agreement sounds* *went off*


At first it felt like... seriously, girls don't even want to talk to me now? Then I pushed myself to breakdown the scenario and see where it went wrong, as noted above. Gets me back in the mindset of pick-up as an art and not "be the whole package, have no challenges, be less than the whole package, have nothing" which is the toxic messaging I seem to hear everywhere else today. It is hard to not believe it, given the crazy 0 streak I've been on this year, but it was pretty apparent why this went bad. I wanted to start building back good habits of reflecting and sharing situations. I'm conflicted about nofap though, as the first half of the day I feel an improvement to productivity and tenacity, but by afternoon, I'm a fucking horndog and can't think of anything else. Given my current life situation, I also don't feel too confident about reliably fixing the lack of sex.

These kind of interactions usually happen when you don't commit to an approach, she feels like you're holding back (which comes across to her as 'concealing' something) and the vibe fizzles out.

Women have instinctive responses to different 'categories' of people, if you come in with a little bit of authority (not like demanding, just assertive and firm), it triggers her response to authority, which is to stop, turn toward it, and be an open book, which is the best way to start things off.

Whereas her built-in response to guys drifting around and vaguely showing intent about something they are thinking about doing, is to run for safety.

A common mistake is to be asking rapport questions while she is in 'retreat mode'. This breaks all kinds of social rules and messes the vibe. When she's reacting negatively in any way, that has to be dealt with first before trying to build any rapport. If she's moving away I will usually say 'hey come here for a sec, just two minutes' with a smile and like a slightly upturned palm gesture. If she's really not interested she'll go (and I won't be left hanging there asking questions to her back) and if she's interested but nervous she'll think like 'ok he has something specific and it's only two minutes, let's do it'. And then she comes back and she's now fully engaged.

 

[TheEcho]

Started to meditate again and it feels like my self worth is the biggest issue. It's subtle, because I seem good on the surface, but deep down question my worthiness of attention and acceptance. This is due to the breakup and even from the relationship itself making me feel unworthy based on (lack of) income. Starting to view the girls' reactions as on average being a reflection of how I actually feel about myself.

It's multipronged with being okay with my situation (which is similar to where I was during my last pickup season), shifting my self worth inward as it seems to have become reliant on external factors during the relationship, and resuming the sense that "of course every girl that sees me is interested and for good reason" and I have incredible value on offer intrinsically.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Except I've approached over 50 girls this year with 0 dates, it's honestly felt insane

Funny you say that, it took me 50 approaches to get my first date. I think it largely depends on how often you approach too, if you approach 5 times a week, 10 weeks to get 50, your chances are much lower compared to 20+ approaches a week, 2.5 weeks to 50. Which 50 approaches will be more effective?

if you come in with a little bit of authority (not like demanding, just assertive and firm), it triggers her response to authority, which is to stop, turn toward it, and be an open book, which is the best way to start things off.

Yes! I was thinking this just didn’t know how to put it into words.That’s why I said be excited, usually when I’m excited talking to girls I have more authority, as long as it’s balanced with being grounded

 

[Kaida]

Funny you say that, it took me 50 approaches to get my first date. I think it largely depends on how often you approach too, if you approach 5 times a week, 10 weeks to get 50, your chances are much lower compared to 20+ approaches a week, 2.5 weeks to 50. Which 50 approaches will be more effective?

Bars^

 

[TheEcho]

That’s why I said be excited, usually when I’m excited talking to girls I have more authority, as long as it’s balanced with being grounded

Through more introspection it clicked how I'm so dead inside. I've inadvertently drowned in nihilism due to the sheer corruption in all areas of society and when referring to my own endeavors, I don't think much of them. It's not humbleness, it's actually thinking the crazy things I do are whatever and I need to shift to appreciating myself and my accomplishments. Really need to get some enjoyment back in my life, meditate heavily and return to being happy with "being", think better of myself, and cut out hedging words (potentially, hopefully, maybe, etc.). I am nearing the launch of my business, so my financial situation will do a 180, but it's important I sort my inner self before I suddenly am flush with cash and the same dead core.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Through more introspection it clicked how I'm so dead inside. I've inadvertently drowned in nihilism due to the sheer corruption in all areas of society and when referring to my own endeavors, I don't think much of them. It's not humbleness, it's actually thinking the crazy things I do are whatever and I need to shift to appreciating myself and my accomplishments. Really need to get some enjoyment back in my life, meditate heavily and return to being happy with "being", think better of myself, and cut out hedging words (potentially, hopefully, maybe, etc.). I am nearing the launch of my business, so my financial situation will do a 180, but it's important I sort my inner self before I suddenly am flush with cash and the same dead core.

Meditation isn’t going to fix an semi-accurate world view that you have, because deep down you know it’s true

Corruption will still exist, probably for as long as we exist.

And your absolutely right to be discontent with the state of the world.

But is it right to give up once we realize man can be just as evil as he can be good?

I think the nihilism is a half truth, because yes the world is filled with hatred, resentment, haughty egos, cruelty, excess, and ignorance.

BUT at the same time people do good deeds everyday. The majority of people selfishly choose to be compassionate to only those who give them something, but they still are being compassionate, and we have to give them that.

There is a small minority of humans who give unconditional love and respect to everyone, regardless of how they are treated. These people will give you respect and compassion even if you have slighted them. They don’t do this out of naiveity but rather wisdom. They can see that you are hurting badly and that you need compassion all the time, even and especially when your lashing out

I’ve read of one person like this: a Tibetan monk who was tortured by the Chinese said once when asked what he feared most in his years of torture “I feared most that I would lose the love and respect I have for my Chinese brethren”

that included the Chinese men that were torturing him everyday!

I’m trying to join this small minority of people, because they have fully grasped the meaning to life, in my opinion.

So to answer your comment, something will have to give you hope again for a better life for you to not have a dead core. Maybe you gain a new friend who is loyal and respects you, maybe you get a girlfriend who loves you, maybe you suddenly decide to talk back to the negative thoughts and you gain it yourself.

Their are so many ways to regain that spark you desire, too many to count.

Now I can’t tell you how to do it, because it is a highly individualized process

But I can tell you that spark is out there, waiting for you to grab

Peace,

Biggus