FR Learning to Have Fun... It's Quite Important ;)

[Edd--19]

Headed out today about 3 hours ago, just got back so here's an FR about it. Walking into town I tried something new... Having one headphone in whilst saying hi to strangers. Building my social momentum at the start of the day is a big one that helps a lot and the music helps keep my mind on positive, upbeat thoughts. I approached about 5 people saying hi and the last girl I spoke to was cute so I decided to open her. I tried a familiar opener that helped break me in for the day. We quickly discuss a few topics and she gives me a little information to play with and I focus on having fun. The conversation drops as I try to press rapport to soon, I qualified her once and wasn't at my peak. I try and grab her number and she declines with the boyfriend excuse, I persist a little but she's adament so I hug her and leave.

From last night I learned how to touch more effectively; lean in a little to touch and maintain eye contact. So after my previous approach I lose some momentum, but no matter I can build it up again... and I do. I try some new openers and ask some people for directions and soon find myself touching more easily and it comes off natural and girls are enjoying it. With that success in hand I try a little flirting by adding some innuendo's into the conversation. They were very subtle, I love subtlety, and after a few attempts at getting the tone and vibe right... I eventually nailed it by watching how the girls took my suggestions, eyes dropping down and a few touches to their hair told me everything.

After talking to a few girls I meet one with a role-playing opener. She joined in immediately and I took the green light and started to have a laugh with her. I move her to the side and start to qualify her a little, I implicitly state that I'm adventurous and have adventurous friends and she semi-qualifies herself by saying she is slightly adventurous. I accept her for it and start to flirt with her a little bit using some innuendo's... I want to expand into some chase frames next. So as we flirt she opens up a little and I discover that she and her boyfriend have just broken up after he cheated. So I assumed her pre-tense with me as fun, which it was, and as she was a little older than me we flirted about how she was going to "show me the ropes". She has no idea what's coming . After some time of talking, we get to a little lull in the conversation. From lots of past experiences I know that if it stays around when meeting someone the conversation is nearly doomed (I was last to talk so I would've felt the social pressure to continue anyway). I proceed to grab her number after a little more flirting and then we went our seperate ways and I have a pretty good lead.

I continued to approach and started to realise that some of the time my voice would rise and become more quiet after I open... attraction killer. Quick thinking gives me my solution; talk slower. Slowing down my speech would give me more time to anticipate what to say next and gives me time to control my non-verbals.

With some new information at hand (well old really... but it I didn't care at the time), Itry opening a pretty looking girl who sent me massive approach signals. Stared me down, stopped walking as I got near, etc. I go for it with a slower voice:

Me: Hi, do you think it's alright to give someone you've just met a sincere compliment? (loaded with pregnant pauses)
Her: Ummm, I guess so. (She's trying to suppress a huge grin and her eyes are sparkling at me)
Me: Give me one then.
Her: Ummm (looks me up and down slowly and very obviously, looks in my eyes) I like how blue your eyes are.
Me: Awesome, I love my eyes, one of my best features (I hug her). I know you were checking me out, I reckon your a little naughty.
Her: Hahaha, yeah I was.

I continue to move her immediately to the side as I felt I could from seeing how attracted she was. I guessed I didn't have to display much high value as she was already attracted to me fairly heavily. I ask her a couple of questions to build some background knowledge of her and we stumble onto the topic of her travelling to vietnam and I relate with my holiday to thailand. I take this opportunity to qualify her on her adventurousness and after a little persistence she qualifies herself also. Once I did that I turned the conversation back onto her and asked her about 'nam and her previous trip to Thailand. She told me about it a little bit and I took a shot at turning things a little sexual. I moved the topic onto the massage parlours in Thailand and soon we were talking about a bad massage that had happened to her and then how having an older woman for a massage is better as they know what they're doing . She agrees and then I make a few attempts at flirting, I get the vibe and tone wrong but get the last one right. I remember leaning in, touching her and holding strong eye-contact. It worked great. I then grab her number after she mentioned she wasn't free anytime that day.

Finally, I had a fun interaction with a cute shop assisstant. It started off rather platonic but by the end I was practising my flirting on her and was slowly getting through to her. I won't type up how this went cause I care more about how I flirted at the end so here's what I did. We were smelling candles as I want to buy one for my girlfriend as she leaves to study abroad for a year in a couple of weeks... Don't worry, it's an open relationship . She's showing me around and we're smelling the most exotic scents the place has to offer. She then leads me to one that smells like wood, I barely smell it but she describes it for me.

Me: I can't really smell it, it's difficult to distinguish except for that really powerful note at the end.
Her: Yeah, it's smells like wood.
Me: So it's quite popular with girls then. (She misses the flirt, I didn't have the vibe and tone down).
Her: Kind of.
Me: I'd expect so as wood tends to get quite hard. (Lean in, touch on her arm and holding eye contact)
Her: Hahahaha. (looks down, the general vibe changes to a more co-operative one, difficult to describe it)

So lots of things tried out today. If you're wondering what this has to do with the title, well... all of this happened 'cause I focused on having fun and being relaxed. I then tried new things and they went very well. Albeit I have tried these things out in the past. I think that by having fun and then trying out new things they feel more natural immediately to other people. And I'm still riding the high of a pretty good day for me! If you don't know what a day is usually like for me here's my Journal, just do me a favour... Skip the first half . All in all, having fun is quite important.