Let's talk boners on the dance floor

[HereNthere]

Sometimes you just can't help it and it happens. How do the pros handle it?

You have these options as far as I can see:
(assume this is a girl you just met at the venue and not someone you see frequently)

A). Just keep dancing as normal knowing it's going to bump her and she'll definitely feel it.
B). Keep dancing but avoid getting your waist close to her.
C). Split the difference between A & B. Back off just a little. It might graze her a tad and hopefully she won't feel it enough to be sure what it is.
D). End the dance immediately and move her somewhere else to talk.

I'm torn on these because I have 2 conflicting mottoes here: it's better to take a risk and go a little too far than to awkwardly retreat and look insecure, and to never do anything that doesn't help you. B through D are all going to end up being a little awkward. I usually go with C, ending the dance as soon as the current song is over. B & D make you look awkward and nervous.

The problem with A (and sometimes C) is that I feel it can't help you, only hurt you. It's definitely going to drive off a girl who's not into you. If a girl is unsure and on the fence about you, it's not going to change her mind in your favor ("I'm not sure about this guy oh but wait is that a boner now I'm totally on board!") and could change her from neutral to negative. If she's already really into you that she reacts positively, then she would have dug you just as much without feeling a boner on her. So it's not going to improve the situation whether she's negative, neutral, or positive, but might hurt the situation if she's neutral.

The other thing is it might hurt you even if she was interested. A frequent bit of advice from the articles is to never kiss on the dance floor. It can make the girl feel validated and that she has everything she wants and be done with you, better to hold the kiss back until you've pulled. Wouldn't knowing she gave you a boner have the same effect?

(Well okay, usually I'm a boxers guy but if I know I'm going dancing, I'll wear tight briefs to keep the thing smashed down all night. Sometimes dancing happens spontaneously though and I'm stuck with the boxers)

So how do the experts play through a dance floor boner?

 

[Mr.Rob]

Lol don't be shy man, she's not going to slap you and dump her drink on you for being horny for HER. Quite the opposite, she'll be elated that she's so attractive that she's turning you on in the first place so pull her in tight right where she can feel it and give her the compliment she deserves.

A good chance she'll start getting horny herself and then you can transition into talking about sex or turn her on really hard and then fractionate and leave her wanting more.

Happy dancing,

 

[radeng]

Absolutely 100% let her feel that shit. It’s totally normal and it will turn her on like crazy. There is no scenario where this is bad imo. Also I’m assuming if she gave you a boner she’s dancing up on you tightly. She wouldn’t be doing that in the first place if she wasn’t attracted. Just don’t say anything about. Unless you want to . Don’t be awkward and, I’ve never heard of a girl saying anything about it but if she does. Hold your frame man and say that’s what happens and turn it on her like she’s weird.

That’s my take I love getting boners on the dance floor.

Radeng

 

[HereNthere]

Has this been field tested? The only positive responses I've gotten were from girls I was already banging.

I agree with the articles that say don't kiss her on the dance floor. Doing so deflates the tension and gives her validation that you're explicitly into her. Men go out at night primarily to get laid. Women go out primarily for validation. Men want to bounce once the get laid. Women want to bounce once they get their validation. A huge crux in everything is having her not be 100% sure that you're into her. Wouldn't making out and feeling a boner dispel any of that doubt and tension?

I guess I just see it as a gamble that you can't possibly make out ahead of. If she reacts positively to a boner, she was already so set to go that nothing would have mattered and the boner made no difference. If she's on the fence...well, I've never witnessed or heard of an on the fence woman changing her mind to positive all because of a hard on of a guy she's neutral towards.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Wouldn't feeling a boner dispel any of that doubt and tension?

Wouldn't not feeling a boner incline her to think you don't have a penis?

Has this been field tested?

Lol,

Look man we gave you our experienced opinions. If you think we're blowing smoke then go field test it yourself on 10 girls when you go out tonight and see for yourself, if you get nothing but bad responses then you can come back and bitch about how we're KJ's or something.

-Rob

 

[radeng]

Has this been field tested? The only positive responses I've gotten were from girls I was already banging.

I’m curious what kind of negative responses you’ve gotten. I’ve done this quite a bit and I thinks it’s fun and so do girls. That being said context matters. Are you getting raging 100% hardons? My dance floor boners are never full boners but they are certainly able to be felt and I’ve even told girls something like, “you’re making me so fucking hard right now” and shit like that and they giggle or grab it or something.

Secondly, I never walk up and start dancing with a girl with a boner and I’m not walking around the club with a boner. Pretty much when the grinding stops the boner goes away basically. I think you WOULD get a bad response if you start dancing with a boner. So at what point are you getting these boners?

Also my experience has been that if a girl is grinding on you, she already likes you pretty damn well and it’s certainly one way to let her know you are a sexual man. How are you grinding with a bunch of girls who aren’t into you? If that’s the case he grinding itself is just as counter productive as anything else. You need to chat with the girl and move her around and Isolate. Grinding specifically won’t get you laid. If it’s just a girl that grinds on a lot of dudes by default then I’m sure she’s used to feeling some boners.

Also I don’t use boners as a tactic. Sometimes I don’t get them. Sometimes I’m drunk af. Sometimes I’m dancing with a chick but we aren’t grinding. Sometimes they happen tho, and I am usually happy when they do.

I think it’s different than makeout validation. If anything it’s more along the lines of teasing and getting her mind on going home with you and getting the boner for real. And honestly I’ve never much heard any girls talking about boners on the dance floor. I’ve only chatted w my bros about them and it seems to me they happen often to a lot of guys.

If you’re getting bad responses please tell us in detail how it played out. It’s almost 100% the boner wasn’t the problem but something else you did was. Also if you’re just a guy who gets boners at the drop of a hat, perhaps it is a problem because you are getting them in contexts where normal guys wouldn’t, and I can see that being bad, but I can also see a guy with good frame control making it a positive and turning girls on with it, so there are still tweaks to make to your game to make it work.

Give better details and we can give better answers and have better discussions.

Radeng

 

[Fuck This]

#1 if she doesn't give me a boner, I'm not going to dance with her.

#2 Don't draw attention to it, but don't hide it.

#3 If she comments, you respond to the effect of " I wouldn't be dancing with you if you didn't turn me on."

#4 if she cops a feel, you need to pull ASAP.