Line between chasing, and persistance?

[Godsninja]

So I've been realizing that I'm prone to the 'chasing' of women. I read chases article "Keeping Your Cool: Don't Chase Women" (https://www.girlschase.com/content/keeping-your-cool-dont-chase-women) and I really liked it. Even relatives of mine tell me to not bother going after girls, cuz it will just push them away.

Now, I don't know about other guys, but it seems to me like I'm stuck in a sort of whirlpool here..

I know that women don't do the leading, men do.
..and the majority of time, it's the guy that asks the girl out.
..and it's the guy that.. you know what I mean? THE GUY HAS TO INITIATE AND PERSIST, most of the time.

It seems like every time I want to call/txt her and try to get somewhere with her, I have this impulse in my mind saying "HEY HEY WAIT, ARE YOU CHASING BRO? BETTER NOT BE CHASING BRO! LET HER GO", but isn't that all part of their game? I know that women want to be chased, and that I should find a balance, like this girl I called on Wednesday, chatted for 5, she's a wreck when we talk (especially in person, lots of girls are) so it's obvious she digs me, then on Thursday told HER, to call ME, (was going for the lay) said she'll try to remember, and doesn't. So alright, she either forgot, or she's toying. Either way, I'm siting in a position where I can let her go, like half the time I do with women, or I can call (text?) her a few days later (now) and find out if she really wants me.

The latter, I also do half the time, but I have extremely mixed results. I know this chick is fairly conservative.. anyways, I'm not hooked up on this girl, but I don't like my options, I'd rather talk to her in person GDMIT!

I can either ignore her and let her text/call me (which most likely she won't) [So let her go/move on]
OR
I can call her, and try to set something up tonight (which might come off as needy for some reason)[if she doesn't pick up, shes making things worse]
OR
I can send her a text and say (fuckifiknow?)...[I'm not great at texting]

So ya, what should I do in situations like this? This has got to be the most CONFUSING thing I've ever come across in my life, and it has always hung over my head like a disease. Hopefully someone experienced will come and clear things up for me.

Thanks

 

[Whizzy]

Since you said texting isn't your strongsuit I would recommend just simply calling her today or tomorrow. However keep in mind that texting is a very useful low effort skill to have so you might want to start trying it out. I can't tell from your post if you sent an ice breaker text yet, but if you have mention a joke that she laughed over last time you saw her or something else to a) jog her memory and b) get her in a similar mindset. Then within a few texts try to get that date my friend

 

[Richard]

Ninja,

The line between chasing and persistence is interest and intention.

When you and the girl have the same interest then it's persistence because both of you want the same thing. Chasing would be you persisting in something you want when she doesn't want (examples could be a relationship, sex, etc).

Say - I want a girl, let's call her Trisha. If I want a relationship with Trisha and I push for one BUT Trisha doesn't want a relationship with me then I'm chasing her because I'm pursuing a non-mutual interest.

A lot of people struggle with the idea of this though - that since we men are leading the interaction aren't we chasing? and the answer is no, we are not.

If you are leading the interaction - you are in control of where you take it and she has to follow you, and when you portray yourself as a confident and sexy man then she's following your lead and then some - chasing your lead.

..and it's the guy that.. you know what I mean? THE GUY HAS TO INITIATE AND PERSIST, most of the time.

By the way - this actually isn't true.

It's really easy to bait women into filling blank gaps in with conversation and it's easy to get women wanting your attention and chasing it - and women usually do most of the talking when the man is attractive because she tries to pump up her value.

-Richard

 

[Godsninja]

Alright, thanks guy.