Logistics and Neediness on Tinder

[Bboy100]

So I've noticed a pattern on Tinder:

1. I talk to girl and ask her to meet with me in person. She says yes.
2. I invite her to meet me at a bar/lounge near my place. She declines because it's too far.
3. I propose that I meet her at a bar/lounge near HER place.
4. She stops replying.

I understand what's happening. I come off as needy/desperate to these girls because I'm willing to travel what they consider to be a long distance just to meet them. Here's the thing though...for me, it's not long distance. I'm happy to drive 20 or even 30 minutes to meet a girl because frankly, I kind of enjoy driving. lol. To me, it's really nbd. But I haven't yet found a way to effectively communicate this in a believable way over text.

I've also tried bypassing this problem by just directly proposing that I meet somewhere near her place. But she'll usually ask me "where do you live?". Once I tell her, I end up facing the same problem.

Any ideas for dealing with this?

 

[ProblemSolving]

This is why I always call the girl when setting up logistics. I've effectively set up dates in a few minutes of conversation which would have taken at least 20 texts to accomplish the same thing - Law Of Least Effort. Try looking non-needy after sending 20 texts to figure out logistics haha. It not only makes solving logistic problems way more efficient, but it also screens out flakes.

When the distance is far and she's not willing to make the full trip, I'll set it up at a location between us.

I personally wouldn't travel all the way to a girls neighborhood, because unless she has a good reason for not putting in some effort to see you (No car, poor transit access), then it's a sign of low interest and she will very likely waste your time if you show up.

 

[Bboy100]

This is why I always call the girl when setting up logistics. I've effectively set up dates in a few minutes of conversation which would have taken at least 20 texts to accomplish the same thing - Law Of Least Effort. Try looking non-needy after sending 20 texts to figure out logistics haha. It not only makes solving logistic problems way more efficient, but it also screens out flakes.

Hmm, I've tried calling several times now to set it up so we have dinner at my place as you recommended. But never to just set up a regular date. Will try this.

When the distance is far and she's not willing to make the full trip, I'll set it up at a location between us.

Doesn't this make pulling her harder? Cause it will take a good 15-20 mins to go from one location to another AND there are usually going to be two separate cars involved.

I personally wouldn't travel all the way to a girls neighborhood, because unless she has a good reason for not putting in some effort to see you (No car, poor transit access), then it's a sign of low interest and she will very likely waste your time if you show up.

But aren't almost all girls pretty low interest before they meet me? Hell...I myself would probably be low interest a good deal of the time if I didn't value the experience itself as a way of learning and leveling up my skill.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Hmm, I've tried calling several times now to set it up so we have dinner at my place as you recommended. But never to just set up a regular date. Will try this.

Yep, I always set dates up this way, whether it's straight over to my place or at a date location.

Doesn't this make pulling her harder? Cause it will take a good 15-20 mins to go from one location to another AND there are usually going to be two separate cars involved.

It's not too inconvenient. If she drove there, have a reason/excuse for going back to your place, then just have her follow you in her car.

But aren't almost all girls pretty low interest before they meet me? Hell...I myself would probably be low interest a good deal of the time if I didn't value the experience itself as a way of learning and leveling up my skill.

Haha believe it or not, whether or not you get laid on the first date depends mostly on how excited she is to meet you. If a girl is excited to meet you, she'll make it very easy to meet her. She won't make demands and if she doesn't have a car or access to transit, she'll ask for a ride.

I only make an exception if the girl is exceptionally hot, lives downtown, and lives alone. The reason for this exception is because downtown girls don't travel anywhere, since everything is downtown. Getting most of them to travel to the suburbs is a nightmare. I make sure they live alone, so I have the opportunity to take them home if I make the trip to see them.

If you live in a less populated area than the girl you're talking to, it will be more difficult to make them come to you.