Long-Distance?

[NotJamesBond]

What do you guys think about dating long distance? I am hitting it off crazy with this girl who lives 5 and a half hours away lol. We're meeting in a couple weeks at a half-way point to see how it goes but assuming it goes well (it probably will but anything can happen) what would you say?

The chemistry between us is great. As in, the best I've had with a woman (on par with this one other broad who also has red hair...something about red heads). I'm very picky and every single thing is in place (hopefully it isn't a catfish lol). Literally nothing holding me back, she's smashed every screening. The sole thing is the distance.

I figure the rule of thumb for long distance is gauge how far she is + how interested you are. It's looking real good like I said so I think I might do it, assuming everything works out...Obviously the move for now is to keep the rapport going and see what happens at the rendezvous but I just wanted to hear your thoughts/experiences in regards to this.

Always get back on the wagon,
NJB

 

[Seppuku]

Hello NJB,

The chemistry between us is great.

First, congratulations, that all sounds good and promising. My advice however is to never take things for granted until it's all concluded in the bed - no matter how exciting it may sound. I am sure she's as excited as you are, but you still have to lead the interaction to a successful happy ending. So be ready with a clear plan to conclude. A woman will only feel she belongs to you after you have successfully taken her horizontally.

About long distance, I have done a few. The ones that work the best are those with the more "relaxed" tone - occasional chatting, picture exchange, maybe a video call once in a while.The ones that burn the fastest are the more "passionate" ones, like in hours of texting, daily video calls, sex cams, etc... It's important not to set too high expectations on the daily communication, because it is hard to step back once she got used to hours of communication every day. For instance, if one day you happen to go out with friends and you're not able to do this daily video call, expect much questions and emotions from her because you couldn't make it. Over time, this tends to turn into drama and fight, and eventually split.

It is also very important that there is a clear plan for this to evolve into a normal relationship in the medium term. LDR with no clear plan for the future are very difficult.

Good luck to you!
Seppuku

PS

see what happens at the rendezvous

No, make things happen instead!

 

[NotJamesBond]

Always appreciate the advice, Seppuku.

I was thinking we could figure something out where we visit one another or meet in the middle every couple weeks.

Helpful as always, that "casual/passionate" point is a good one.

I'll let you guys know what happens down the road.

Happy hunting
-NJB

 

[Fuck This]

Depends on what your idea of frequent enough meetings are? LDRs do require work to maintain.

Ask yourself this:

Do you need long periods of time without female distractions? Say for work where you travel and do projects?

Do you want to stay out of your local dating pool because of complicating factors?

Do you like the excitement of the reuniting passion?

What if you two miss a regularly scheduled rendezvous? Would you feel slighted?

Are you going to keep it casual and Don't ask/Don't Tell when you are apart?

Are you going to have a Deadline/goal date of when you will be in the same ZIP code together long term?

Can you absorb the travel cost? Are you willing to cover her share some or all the time?

Are you going to tolerate some behaviors you wouldn't in a local relationship?

Are you going to tell local people you have a long distance girlfriend?

Have you fully made the most of your local options in terms of quantity and quality?

Are you comfortable having the talk about whether this arrangement is workable for both of you, and pre determine what would be cause to discontinue it?

Are you willing to arrange your rendezvous schedule and meeting places to coordinate with her menstrual cycle, and if there is a scheduling FU are you going to be resentful?


Just some things to think about.