Rain-
1. It can be. But in the majority of cases (probably 99%) it boils down to a lack of experience with relationships and or a lack of knowledge of the stages and progression of relationships. I.e again- Because the Limerance phase has passed and they are no longer "as excited as they were" they think the relationship is inherently flawed when it truly may not be.
2. In most cases science has shown that the limerance phase does not last longer than two years regardless of circumstance. And this is especially true in today's day and age with technology such as texting, skype, etc. LDR's used to have a "limerance buffer" but that is much less now than it used to be.
Limerance applies for two people whom are romantically involved regardless of circumstance. This even applies with what you described as someone having "lack of abundance, over abundance, or a woman feeling "I just don't have him yet even though I *have* him." When two people are together it inevitably becomes less of a "novelty" and "new experience" for both parties. The chemicals die as the novelty dies. This is the rule. And there are no exceptions (unless we get into psychosis which we wont).
3. Limerance/Love chemicals such as oxytocin and Vasopressin are designed to help us form attachment bonds. You can physically feel these chemicals at their strongest in cases of "Love at first sight", "The first kiss", and "The first sexual encounter". Without these initial chemicals or having these chemicals at all establishing an
authentic desire for pair bonding and a lasting relationship would be and is near impossible.
Sadly when it comes to LTR's one has to accept that 100% of the time the feelings you have for one another will one day peak and then they will fall. And there is nothing either of you two can do that will bring those feelings to that peak or past where the peak was. The analogy is the same as a drug addict trying to obtain that "first high" and that no matter how much of that
same drug they use they never quite reach that initial experience.
Think of it this way. If you always have a roaring burning fire. You will inevitably run out of fuel. But if you let it coast on the embers and give fuel to it bit by bit you can keep the fire burning. Maybe not as hot as it once was. but it will still provide warmth.
The Tool.
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you have to be consciously able to ignore the possible new romantic interests you may come into your mind during the day? Eg dealing with fear of missing out something better because of the limerance chemicals with someone brand new or old limerance of a oneitis.
This is something that is difficult to answer as it varies person to person. So many variables as it pertains to this that if I talk about my thoughts. It may cause an argument between
MANY senior board members on here
(SO MANY VARIABLES). It inevitably comes down to your preference and if you are ready for an LTR. But from my personal experience. When you find that right woman, There is
almost never any doubt in your mind that she is the one and you do not want to trade her for the world. (Going on 6+ years with my lady atm).
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Ragnarok if you read this. Haven't forgot about your question. Once this semester is up. Ill be smacking thee ole key board keys.
