Hello guys,
I'm a beginner, and I was wondering if you could give me a quick thought about this conversation I had.
First, intro: the girl is from a foreign country where relationships are big deals, sex before marriage is a huge no-no, and she is very religious (christian) so absolutely no sex.
I'm 100% ok with all of this, because I like her as a person more than I want to sleep with her and I myself am also a bit religious (not anti-sex tho), so at this point I'm more interested in just dating her and getting to know her than getting her into bed, because I know there is no way she could do it and not feel terrible about herself.
That said, I met her approx. a month ago. We have a class together in college. I felt a instant strong attraction with and from her, we got along great, and talked for about an hour and a half when we first met. Since then, we've become regular friends but have not really seen each other that often. We went to see a show she had to see for a class, and I've made it clear through body language that I want her. We have a few things we do throughout the week every once in a while (class, bible study, and organization meeting), and it's 100% clear to me that she likes me from how she's acted and what she's said (take my word for it, I'm not an idiot
). She comes to me after class to walk back to our apartments on campus, she's come on walks with me when I suggested them, etc. She invests in me. But she is also extremely busy, just like I am.
So anyway, I asked her out to more romantic things like getting a yogurt with me and going for a walk in the evening (sunset... ) by the nearby lake. I know she'd love to and it's something she enjoys, but unfortunately she has been busy almost every time. So basically, despite her not "having the time" to go on a romantic date with me, I was getting all the right signals in how she treated me in person, so tonight after talking and doing a christian "get to know each other better" thing, I asked her if she was against dating because of religious reasons. After all, maybe it's the cultural thing that hasn't made my intentions clear enough. She said she wasn't dating right now because she was so busy, but she dated once and it was a really really bad experience. This is more or less what the convo went like (not exactly, I'm bad at remembering convos exactly):
Me: So let me ask you, are you religiously against dating?
Her: No... no I date, but not right now because I am so busy... I dated once and it was a really bad experience, the guy was a bad guy... (smiling, enthusiastic, not dreading...)
Me: I'm asking because I like spending time with you, and I'd like to take you out sometime.
Her: -Something about just not dating because she's busy and she had a bad experience- (but still very friendly and maybe slightly surprised)
Me: I understand you're busy, I'm really busy too, but I enjoy spending time with you, and I know you like me. It's just a date. It's not a big deal, and you would have fun.
Me: I want what I want, I want to take you out sometime. There's time, let me know...
Her: Ok... thank you (friendly and sweet)
Me: See ya... (I walk, trying to seem confident and sure of myself, we both have somewhere to be, anyway)
So what do you think? This transpired a few hours ago, and it's night now, but I was thinking at this point to do the following things to encourage her to get over her bad experience and go out on a date with me:
1. Not see her again until Tuesday
2. When I do see her, continue being her friend (making her laugh, you know, teasing, being friends...)
3. Keep up the tension (that's already there) with eye contact, teasing, etc.
4. See how she acts next time I see her
(extra tidbit: all her friends think we're cute together and tease her about us quite often. We've often laughed about it)
Edit:
Oh yeah, thank you very much for helping this grasshoppah out.
I'm a beginner, and I was wondering if you could give me a quick thought about this conversation I had.
First, intro: the girl is from a foreign country where relationships are big deals, sex before marriage is a huge no-no, and she is very religious (christian) so absolutely no sex.
I'm 100% ok with all of this, because I like her as a person more than I want to sleep with her and I myself am also a bit religious (not anti-sex tho), so at this point I'm more interested in just dating her and getting to know her than getting her into bed, because I know there is no way she could do it and not feel terrible about herself.
That said, I met her approx. a month ago. We have a class together in college. I felt a instant strong attraction with and from her, we got along great, and talked for about an hour and a half when we first met. Since then, we've become regular friends but have not really seen each other that often. We went to see a show she had to see for a class, and I've made it clear through body language that I want her. We have a few things we do throughout the week every once in a while (class, bible study, and organization meeting), and it's 100% clear to me that she likes me from how she's acted and what she's said (take my word for it, I'm not an idiot
). She comes to me after class to walk back to our apartments on campus, she's come on walks with me when I suggested them, etc. She invests in me. But she is also extremely busy, just like I am.So anyway, I asked her out to more romantic things like getting a yogurt with me and going for a walk in the evening (sunset...
) by the nearby lake. I know she'd love to and it's something she enjoys, but unfortunately she has been busy almost every time. So basically, despite her not "having the time" to go on a romantic date with me, I was getting all the right signals in how she treated me in person, so tonight after talking and doing a christian "get to know each other better" thing, I asked her if she was against dating because of religious reasons. After all, maybe it's the cultural thing that hasn't made my intentions clear enough. She said she wasn't dating right now because she was so busy, but she dated once and it was a really really bad experience. This is more or less what the convo went like (not exactly, I'm bad at remembering convos exactly):Me: So let me ask you, are you religiously against dating?
Her: No... no I date, but not right now because I am so busy... I dated once and it was a really bad experience, the guy was a bad guy... (smiling, enthusiastic, not dreading...)
Me: I'm asking because I like spending time with you, and I'd like to take you out sometime.
Her: -Something about just not dating because she's busy and she had a bad experience- (but still very friendly and maybe slightly surprised)
Me: I understand you're busy, I'm really busy too, but I enjoy spending time with you, and I know you like me. It's just a date. It's not a big deal, and you would have fun.
Me: I want what I want, I want to take you out sometime. There's time, let me know...
Her: Ok... thank you (friendly and sweet)
Me: See ya... (I walk, trying to seem confident and sure of myself, we both have somewhere to be, anyway)
So what do you think? This transpired a few hours ago, and it's night now, but I was thinking at this point to do the following things to encourage her to get over her bad experience and go out on a date with me:
1. Not see her again until Tuesday
2. When I do see her, continue being her friend (making her laugh, you know, teasing, being friends...)
3. Keep up the tension (that's already there) with eye contact, teasing, etc.
4. See how she acts next time I see her
(extra tidbit: all her friends think we're cute together and tease her about us quite often. We've often laughed about it)
Edit:
Oh yeah, thank you very much for helping this grasshoppah out.
