Love cynic - Girl's sexuality and I don't feel ok with that

[Smith]

Hey guys,

Think I'm having a mental meltdown here...I've been seeing this girl for about 4-5 weeks, and she's leaving in a few days because she's here on an exchange programme. So I knew not to take things seriously. I kinda probed around her sexual history just to learn more about women. She's only 21, so I totally understand girls at this age. She told me she only had two bfs, and recently broke up with one because he got needy when she's here and he didn't like how she partied too much. She told me how easy it is to get makeouts in a night club and she got 6 at most one night. When I asked her if she had ever cheated, she told me no, but I have my suspicion so I just kinda laughed and moved on. Sometimes we don't use condoms when we have sex, and that's actually the worrying part for me, because I'm scared of STD. I got urine test a few weeks ago and that came out good, but haven't done a blood test for HIV and stuff because u need to wait 3 months. She always tells me to not use condoms, and I can't help but feel cheated and used because I don't know if she's clean. She also told me her friend here is cheating on her bf in america, and that feels like a red flag to me, because you are the combination of 5 people who you hang around with the most. But I'm just making assumptions here.

I bumped into her today and asked her out to grab dinner tomorrow, and she happily agreed. She told me she'll get hammered tonight because her exam just finished. Then tonight, I was scrolling through the snapchat story and there was this one video from her that bothers me. There seems to be a guy(?) sitting on top of her chest and pouring drink into her mouth. I'm assuming it's a guy because the person filming is pouring down the drink, but that video just reminds me of the cumshot I did to her when we usually have sex. Honestly, I feel a little hurt like I'm getting cheated by someone I cared about or maybe it's jealousy. Now she might not be fucking anyone in that party, and that video was just a drunk video of people doing not even that crazy shit. But on a macro-scale, it also showed that I'm still not comfortable with girl's sexuality, and girls seem to LOVE sex more than I think they do. This bothers me because I'm not sure if I can trust women in a committed relationship in the future, or even care about them !! Also, I need to be more firm about wearing condoms in the future. I think that's another reason I'm so attached to this, because i'm secretly hoping she's not fucking other people so I don't catch STD.

My mind might just be playing fantasy with me right now. But I'm really hurt(?) or turned off by that video to the point that I don't even want to see her tomorrow, and tomorrow is suppose to be our last night together. I would appreciate any help on this. Tell me there's something positive about female sexuality. I feel like I'm the love cynic Chase talked about - who thinks women are too wild and one must protect themselves from. And that's why I'm so vulnerable to bitterness right now.

- Smith

 

[Mr.Rob]

I'm about to start going to church to pick up gfs lol.

Haha. Yeah just tell your newfound congregation what you were for Halloween I'm sure they'll welcome you with open arms my friend.

Regarding your situation Smith, first off I'd say don't over stress about the STD issue. Most STD's aren't that big of a deal and are curable (although can be unpleasant). Read Chases how to avoid STD's article about HIV and how it's like a 1 in 2000 chance of getting it if you're a male and don't take it in the ass or have open sores on your cock.

Regarding your girl situation I mean you're not in a monogamous relationship right?

Why do you feel cheated and used? She's allowed to have sex with other people... she's in college it would be weird if she wasn't sexually curious.

Be happy that you get to be a part of her sexual revolution and have shared awesome times with her (I'm assuming since she let you cum on her face that sounds pretty awesome).

If this is a monogamous relationship and she's cheating on you then NEXT her and go find a girl that's not exploring so hardcore sexually.

 

[Aquila]

Yeah I don't see the problem here. If you're allowed to sleep with and date multiple women, then she should be allowed to do the same.

Unless you are both in a monogamous relationship, in which case that'd be considered as cheating, it's just double standards you're trying to apply here.

I'd say get comfortable with this fact if you want to sleep with many women, otherwise the best option is to become the typical one-girl nice guy and find a conservative girl who will love you for the rest of your life.

 

[GeneralFap]

You caught feels for a party girl and you feel jealous now that you know she's fucking around, but you guys are not in a relationship so she doesn't see the reason to remain exclusive to you. Most girls are not as wild as this girl so I think you can trust most women. This girl is too liberal (she made out with 6 different guys in a club, jeez!). You said she was an exchange student right? She just used the time she had away from her family and friends to have as much unrestrained fun as she could.

 

[Smith]

Radeng,

haha yea do church game! lol I watched Tyler's video on the truth about sluts, and he described exactly how I was feeling, i.e. I want a girl who I can trust and doesn't have that many sexual experience, but also at the same time can give good sex and likes to socialize. Then he went on to talk about how that's impossible lol. Girls have their own journey too, and having lots of sex with different guys is part of their growth, just like us learning how to become a player. I think I'm starting to understand it at a deeper level now. And he explained that a "true slut" is someone who NEEDS validation and not just for fun, but like they really need it. I don't know if it applies to this girl, but I'm going to let it go for now. No point thinking about it. I guess it hurts because I was being absolutely open about who I am with this girl and the chemistry is great. I think I'm just being insecure lol In a way, I'm kinda glad she has to leave in a few days. Otherwise, I'm really tempted to date her in the long run AND that would be a huge mistake to try to settle down with her!!

Rob,

That's reassuring to hear lol! honestly, I think my real concern was catching STD.

And yea we're not in a monogamous relationship, because she's going back to her country in a couple of days. But it doesn't feel like a fuck-buddy relationship as well. More like a fate-doesn't-want-us-to-be-together kinda thing, because the way this relationship is heading now is likely to be a monogamous relationship IF she was staying here longer. Well at least that's the way I feel about it lol.
I'm just going to focus on my experience and enjoy my time with her. She texted me first this morning and she wanted to bring dinner over instead of going out, so I guess I've been overthinking about the whole thing haha

Aquila,

I'm slowly getting there lol slowly...

GeneralFap,

Yea she's in her "party phase" now. No problem with that. and the making out with 6 different guys kinda caught me by surprise. I don't usually do night game so I have no reference to what's normal at night. So I thought maybe 6 is not too much.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Damn, there's some serious Bitter Bettys in this thread haha. Why do you expect monogamy from some high partner count party girl is beyond me. It's like complaining about the retarded puppy you bought because he keeps crapping on the carpet. What do you expect?!

And if you really believe girls are untrustworthy and constantly on the prowl for cock, you need to get out more. If that were the case, I'd lay damn near 100% of the girls I talk to haha. In order to have fantastic relationships with women, whether they be monogamous or casual, you need to be able to properly categorize the women that you meet. Some women make great monogamous girlfriends while others make great FBs. Problems arise when YOU miscategorize.

 

[ray_zorse]

There are thousands of girls like this at my university. I'm talking about the international students from conservative countries though, not the local or European students. Girls like this make up the majority of girls that I date. It's great, but I fuckin wish I could find some party girls who'd be more fun. I want threesomes and so on. If I go out for nightgame I see lots of international students out too, and some of them very hot or at least club hot, but I'm not as good at nightgame In regards to the OP this is not a problem that I have, since I was raised in a very sexually permissive environment and have never had any kind of madonna/whore complex. As an example: A dude came around to pick up my sister for a date. He was clearly very nervous, so my dad decided to have some fun with him. Says: "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" ... "WHAT TIME WILL YOU HAVE HER HOME BY?" ... he stammers, very flustered "uhhh dinner and a movie... uhhh ten thirty!" my dad laughs and says "I don't expect to see her home before twelve... and if you get home before then, take her back out to the car and you might get lucky!".
Ray

 

[ProblemSolving]

most of them married very young and they really are wonderful people.

This is true, which is why most the girls I consider for relationships are young.

I think girls that drink some or have a higher count may still be good r/ship girls, but chase is very clear that he doesn't believe so and that girls that meet all the requirements listed are abundant.

Keep in mind that ambition is a quality that Chase specifically wants in a woman. Mainly because he works hard and doesn't have a lot of free time, so he wants a woman that won't be very needy because she'd be so busy with work. At least that's what I believe is the reason. You may have other qualities instead of ambition that are important to you.

Guess I should also add im a relative day game noob so it's possible my sample size is just too small.

Keep doing daygame. You'll run into a wide range of girls, from the ultra conservative to the super freaks and everything in between. The only way to get an accurate read on a girl's partner count is to escalate in the bed room and see how she reacts. Hint: confidence comes from experience. Try not to make judgments about partner count without sufficient data.