Love Songs

[Zoro]

As I am growing as a man and learning about women, songs on the radio are starting to take a new meaning for me.

Like Sappy breakup love songs sung by a man; I can barely relate anymore. Its all so emotional and a downer, and I'm just thinking how my experiences with girls lately are just fun and light hearted No wonder this man got dumped.

And the reverse. Love/break up songs sung by a woman? I bet you that man rocked her world. And was nothing like the man singing love songs. These songs are usually sexually under the radar. So kids can listen and still be clueless. "Love Me Harder, Love Me Like You Do, and Sledgehammer" That one about the sledgehammer? No girls heart races like that without a little tension

Then you have the sassy songs about guys. Like the one, "you're lips are moving but you lie lie lie." Yeah that man was probably sitting tight right at provider role and wanted some side action.

I've always liked hair metal bands like Def Leppard, Motley Crue and Guns and Roses. Now I feel like these are the guys I relate to (besides the drugs and self destruction), the vibe was so much different its all fun. They were notorious for the action they got.

Thoughts on this?

I also think its funny how mainstream advice is so upside down and then you see such powerful non-verbals and fundamentals in the movies and shows (even anime I shit you not, in fact you'd be surprised how many characters in anime are made with flawless fundamentals and non-verbals). Its not just us who knows whats going down!

 

[To Need a Woman]

Nearly all my favorite songs are about heartbreak. It's the only way you can whine, and yet not seem like any less of a man. If fact it works quite well to get women, and that fact isn't something girlschase is going to teach you. It's the best way of showing passion. Men who sing songs about heartbreak are legends, such like John Lennon' as in 'Jealous Guy'.

And there are far more love songs out there about men's heartbreak than women's. And that gives women hope, which if anything, is a good thing for us. As a regular performer, I love to sing love songs. People sing best about things they're unsatisfied with. There'll always be the part of you that wants to fall in love; don't deny it, channel it. I know some of you on this site might sort of take it like a religion, but let this space monkey tell you that even Billy Idol's 'Eyes without a face' sings about heartbreak. I don't like any of that boisterous hard rock... AC/DC or Hendrix, not for me. For me, it's soft rock all the way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcYDnAG7Ppo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUy-Vbrt9o4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7GPndG0f-A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85B_REWeNcM

 

[Franco]

J Wick,

Yep, you're pretty much on the mark there, man! I actually rarely even listen to songs with lyrics anymore (since most of them are downers and/or about heartbreak), and the ones sung by men are especially worse for the pure fact that it's coming from a place of neediness/loneliness. No masculine man who has his shit together finds himself singing "I miss you, baby" songs about women. It's just not an attractive thing.

And yep, as far as the girls singing these songs, you're right on point. Almost every time a girl is singing about a really hard breakup or guy she misses, you can bet that that guy is a guy she not only had sex with, but probably had great sex with. Generally a woman associates much of her chemistry with how great the sex is between her and the guy, so if she's having great sex (and the guy isn't completely a lover or total asshole), then you can bet she probably will have a lot of lingering feelings if he stops seeing her or he starts seeing another girl (or, even worse, "cheats" on her).

So yeah, in general, music has changed drastically for me. I mostly listen to electronic music these days because the majority of tracks contain few (if any) lyrics, and the few that most contain are positive/uplifting and keep you in a good state of mind.

TNAW,

Nearly all my favorite songs are about heartbreak. It's the only way you can whine, and yet not seem like any less of a man. If fact it works quite well to get women, and that fact isn't something girlschase is going to teach you. It's the best way of showing passion. Men who sing songs about heartbreak are legends, such like John Lennon' as in 'Jealous Guy'.

Not to burst your bubble here, but this is actually very off the mark. Women don't adore John Lennon because he sings songs about heartbreak; they adore John Lennon because he's John Lennon -- he's a famous musician who made a ton of money touring around the world playing music for lots of women. The thing to keep in mind here is that fame is the ultimate aphrodisiac. You can be famous on YouTube by having 50,000,000 views on a video where you made a complete asshole of yourself, but if women all know about it, and it's the talk of the town, your chances of sleeping with them go up immensely. Fame is an untouchable quality that will work on women even more strongly than pre-selection. Of course, we don't tell guys on here "go be famous," because that in it of itself is a much more difficult thing to do than just improving yourself as a man. And improving yourself as a man will also lead to more control in your life, whereas becoming famous will just randomly get you laid without helping you improve yourself. (And, if you somehow lose your fame or are stripped of it, you will suddenly be right back where you were before you gained it)

Anyway, if you want to test this theory about heartbreak and love songs, then you should invite out several women who enjoy John Lennon and play several of his songs for them.. with the same heartfelt emotion that a man who is in pain over a lost woman would have. If these girls end up sleeping with you, then you'll have your answer as to whether or not women are actually attracted to men who enjoy these types of songs by random strangers. =)

NOTE: After a woman has slept with you, then revealing the fact that you play these types of songs on your guitar may make her a bit weak in the knees, but that's mostly because she already knows you're a masculine man and likely has strong feelings for you. On the other hand, if you lost a girl because you messed up somewhere in managing the relationship and then tried to play one of these songs to get her back, she would see it as very sappy and very weak, and would likely write you off moreso than she would have had you just done nothing afterward.

- Franco

 

[Zoro]

I mostly listen to electronic music these days....

Would you mind sharing some of your playlists?

I'm a big fan of Tiesto's In Search of Sunrise #7, ATB, and that new song by Kygo called Firestone is pretty cool.

I'd go out clubbing more if my city had venues that played this kind of music. Nothing but Top 40 remixes here :,(

There'll always be the part of you that wants to fall in love; don't deny it, channel it.

Funny that you say that. As a musician myself, I have found heartbreak/falling in love (infatuation) to be a very motivating and inspiring experience. Definitely why so many songs are about this subject. Not saying that those songs are bad, just hard for me to relate to anymore.

I agree with Franco here. Just being in a band is an attraction booster. I know this from experience and have even experimented with telling girls or not that I play music. I will never forget the look on this girl's face when I told her I left the band I had been playing with at the time, which was pretty popular in the area. Subtly disappointed, but enough that I noticed it. The frequency of new women entering my life dropped after that as well, followed by an increase when I joined another!

-J

 

[To Need a Woman]

So yeah, in general, music has changed drastically for me. I mostly listen to electronic music these days because the majority of tracks contain few (if any) lyrics, and the few that most contain are positive/uplifting and keep you in a good state of mind.

I wouldn't take this site so seriously that it effects what music you listen to! Too me, electronic music is music for people who don't like music!

I think you've been listening to so much electronic music that you don't really realise how much love songs there actually are out there. I tend to like love songs for their music over lyrics, so I'd still be listening to them even if I did agree with you. I'm not talking about serinading girls with love songs, or writing songs to get them back - artists write for themselves. But audiences don't usually take what a singer says literally... especially if it's poetically ambiguous. Some of the modern lyrics are spelled out clear as they though. Maybe you don't have much experience in performing arts, but there's a difference between singing something as a lyrics, and actually saying it.

You might have a different vibe in mind to me, but generally speaking, as long as it's not taken too far(like some of the Bruno Mars or John Legend), it's fine to sing love songs, as Billy Idol proves above. And there's a reason why most of the population can relate to them, as opposed electronic music.

 

[Franco]

TNAW,

I wouldn't take this site so seriously that it effects what music you listen to! Too me, electronic music is music for people who don't like music!

I think you've been listening to so much electronic music that you don't really realise how much love songs there actually are out there. I tend to like love songs for their music over lyrics, so I'd still be listening to them even if I did agree with you. I'm not talking about serinading girls with love songs, or writing songs to get them back - artists write for themselves. But audiences don't usually take what a singer says literally... especially if it's poetically ambiguous. Some of the modern lyrics are spelled out clear as they though. Maybe you don't have much experience in performing arts, but there's a difference between singing something as a lyrics, and actually saying it.

Actually, I come from a "rock" background! All I used to listen to was rock music (and many albums had the "feels/heartbreak" songs in them -- almost every band is subject to writing something about a girl at some point). The reason I don't listen much anymore actually has less to do with this website and more to do with the fact that I think most of the bands that are still producing that I used to listen to just aren't the same anymore. Rock in general I think is going downhill, and I'm not into this new age "Indie" crap at all. No disrespect to anyone (especially younger) members who like it, but I think the '80s, '90s, and '00s eras had the best rock music that we have today!

Electronic music certainly is not for people who don't like music. I'd say it's exactly the opposite, actually! The amount of passion that some people have for the music is out of this world (including my own), and most of the people that are involved in my life actually revolve their own lives around putting on shows with electronic music. A large portion of my friends are both producers and DJs, and they'll spend day after day in their own rooms producing music when they're not actually putting on a live show.

Besides the fact that electronic music ignores most of the sappy, lovey-dovey stuff (most of the time), it also provides you with something that no other genre really does well: it allows you to express yourself in the form of dance. Women absolutely love to dance, but not every girl is necessarily into the "booty-popping" hip-hop and rap that's out there, but I know a LARGE portion of women who give electronic music a chance fall in love with it immediately for its ability to allow people to express themselves freely without judgment.

And there's a reason why most of the population can relate to them [...]

Right, but the number one thing to keep in mind when women listen to these songs is that they are not necessarily relating them to the person performing them and are rather relating them to past events with a previous boyfriend/lover. I think that's one of the biggest mistakes that people assume about "love music" directed at women: when they talk about how much they can "relate" to the song and how they would "love" a man to do what the song says he should/would do, they actually have a specific past partner in mind (that they still have strong feelings for) who probably left them or treated them poorly, and they wish THAT specific individual would adhere to the song lyrics. They have very little interest in actual strangers singing/playing the song if they have no emotions toward that guy already (which are really only brought upon the girl if you've already had sex with her).

- Franco

 

[Franco]

J Wick,

Would you mind sharing some of your playlists?

I'll try to come back to this thread and edit this post with some music if I get a moment. But the amount of DJs I have "Liked" on Facebook at this point is well over 100, so I'll probably just give you some of my favorites. =)

- Franco

 

[Lotus]

Where does daft punk fit into the genre? I'm not vastly familiar with the dance music, but I have spent some time listening to some of the more mainstream DJs such as afrojack, avicii, and tiesto.

where would my next step considering I'm a big fan of Daft Punk?!

-brum

 

[Franco]

brum,

where would my next step considering I'm a big fan of Daft Punk?!

Haha, well Daft Punk is kind of considered their own genre these days, but it's probably closest to House/Tech House. I enjoy Daft Punk's music, but I don't find them quite as phenomenal as some people do. I actually got really tired of hearing that "Get Lucky" track when their most recent album was released -- it was probably the most overplayed track for a good few months!

That being said, Daft Punk is very good at what they do, and as far as mainstream music goes, you might want to look into Deadmau5's music and see if it clicks with you. He's a bit more minimalistic with his productions, but they are always catchy and have a great tune.

The best thing you can really do is just go to a website like Pandora or Last.fm and search "Daft Punk Radio" and see what comes up! I mostly only have recommendations for individuals who enjoy the same genres that I do (which are Electro/Dubstep/Drum N Bass/Drumstep/Psytrance/Glitch/Trap), so outside of those genres, I can't really recommend too much.

I would highly suggest diving a bit into every genre though so you can get a taste of what's out there. Most people only listen to the mainstream DJs because they have no idea that there's really solid music out there if you just dig a bit deeper.

- Franco

 

[Lotus]

Oh don't even start with me, the radio destroys everything! I skip over that song every time, plus luck isn't real

It's not that I'm into mainstream I just don't spend a tremendous amount of time looking for music. I go on Spotify and look around here and there and then move on, but i'll check out Deadmau5. The name sounds familiar but I haven't listened to them specifically.

I never got into edm, house, techno, or any of that stuff until my buddy recommended it for listening at work and it has been growing on me. I haven't used the radio feature on spotify much other then for kid cudi, but ill have to spend more time on it.

thanks

 

[To Need a Woman]

No disrespect to anyone (especially younger) members who like it, but I think the '80s, '90s, and '00s eras had the best rock music that we have today!

I hope you realise that most people would be inclined to say the 60s, 70s and 80s as opposed to the "80s, 90s and 00s"!!! I can't understand how someone would leave out the 70s? Although, in America, a lot of the great rock bands seemed to come
a bit later than in Britain.

Electronic music certainly is not for people who don't like music.

Perhaps I shouldn't have went as far to say that. I just got the impression that this music is just to keep one in a fast paced state of mind, and that a lot of people just listen to it in the gym and that.. and not really take it that seriously. I don't know if many of it's listeners are inspired to take up an instrument!

I'd say it's exactly the opposite, actually! The amount of passion that some people have for the music is out of this world (including my own), and most of the people that are involved in my life actually revolve their own lives around putting on shows with electronic music. A large portion of my friends are both producers and DJs, and they'll spend day after day in their own rooms producing music when they're not actually putting on a live show.

Besides the fact that electronic music ignores most of the sappy, lovey-dovey stuff (most of the time), it also provides you with something that no other genre really does well: it allows you to express yourself in the form of dance. Women absolutely love to dance, but not every girl is necessarily into the "booty-popping" hip-hop and rap that's out there, but I know a LARGE portion of women who give electronic music a chance fall in love with it immediately for its ability to allow people to express themselves freely without judgment.

I do like some electronic music actually now that I think about it. Some of the tracks on 009 sound system I liked a lot, if you'd call that electronic music. I recently came across Zoo Brazil's 'Cross roads' and for whatever reason, I thought it was fantastic.

Like everything, there's a time and a place for it. But the thing is... I can only take so much. It can be equally as enjoyable as the usual songs I'd listen to, but it's hard to have as much respect for this type of music. After a while, when one stops concentrating to it, there's a risk of it all sounding the same. It can get a bit monotonous, as very often, it all essentially has the same vibe. Maybe it's because I'm an old school guy, but after a while it wrecks my head. And after seeing something about Dimitri Vegas at Tomorrow land being posted up on this site, I don't think I'd like the connotations or personalities that go with this music.

Nothing has the down to earth quality and unique feeling of hearing an instrument; hearing someone's unique style of play and unique vocals. I have more respect for them as performers, as it's all coming from their voice and hands, and they manage to not make one timing or vocal mistake.

I have no idea how electronic music is created in the studio, or anything about the technology that goes into it, but I get the impression that the equipment might do a lot of the work for them, both in writing the song as well as on stage.

Right, but the number one thing to keep in mind when women listen to these songs is that they are not necessarily relating them to the person performing them and are rather relating them to past events with a previous boyfriend/lover. I think that's one of the biggest mistakes that people assume about "love music" directed at women: when they talk about how much they can "relate" to the song and how they would "love" a man to do what the song says he should/would do, they actually have a specific past partner in mind (that they still have strong feelings for) who probably left them or treated them poorly, and they wish THAT specific individual would adhere to the song lyrics. They have very little interest in actual strangers singing/playing the song if they have no emotions toward that guy already (which are really only brought upon the girl if you've already had sex with her).

To be honest, because there are so many love songs out there, people don't necessarily have the time to connect with them on an emotional level when they're in a social environment. Therefore, if I did a solo performance, a girl in the audience would be more inclined to just think(if all went well) "wow, good piano player, good singer". And even if you've entered the bar alone that night, you're now a 'somebody' and it makes it easier to open convo. Rather than having to rely on silly tactics to act like cooler than are, which would often backfire.

 

[To Need a Woman]

Modern mass-produced music, just like its Hollywood movie and network TV counterparts, is just ruthless brainwashing

And this website isn't? With all the 'alpha', 'bitch shield', 'friend zone' parlance; and the laws! ha. It's essentially a marketing thing lets not forget. Nothing screams PUA better than saying "I just noticed you from over there and had to come over to say..." to a stranger on the street. They all know what's going on! Chase isn't going to tell you that!

and, more importantly, terrible. You're right, it's always some sappy beta male whining about how he much he still loves some woman who is now singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" to Mr. Alpha On The Side.

Please don't pretend you understand anything about song writing! Real men write about what they feel. And there's nothing more pathetic than a wanna be 'alpha' male.

 

[Zoro]

To Need A Woman,

Have you tried any of the advice on this website for yourself? I like to think that most of the guys on here are deep thinkers and take their own considerations along with advice.

I for one, can honestly say the advice on this website has not let me down once. Not once.

I advocate, support and follow the advice on the site because I know it works from my OWN experiences using it. Also the men in this community are uniquely field-testers, if you will, in that most of the stuff we talk about is stuff we actually do.

Please do not take my word for it. Do take anyone's word for it. Try it out for yourself.

 

[Chase]

To Need a Woman,

Thin ice. Do not flame other members. Do not attempt to undermine this place by dismissing as "brainwashing" things that you have not physically gone out and attempted for yourself.

Unsure? Great. Skeptical? Perfect. Go test. People who are going to dismiss things wholesale without testing them out reasonably extensively first may fit well on the rest of the Internet, but they don't fit at all here. This is a speculation-free zone.

As for approaching a girl on the street, who said I won't tell you that it's crystal clear on your approach that you're approaching her because you're interested in her? That's the point. If you're playing hide the banana with a girl during a street approach, you will get shut down so quick and so consistently it'll feel like you've got to be the ugliest man alive. Ask me how I know (I've tested). If you're doing street stops, you'd better make it DAMN clear that you're doing it because you're interested in her romantically within the first 5 seconds. Bit more leeway with cafés, grocery stores, bookstores, etc., but street? You're on the clock from the moment you say "hi".

I understand the "heartbreak songs are great" mentality. I assume you are young. When I was young and naïve and making music, I made heartbreak songs myself, and viewed these as reaching a pinnacle of emotion that men who were "too tough" to feel or talk about these things simply couldn't reach. As you improve with women, songs like this begin to strike you as increasingly hollow, the sad laments of confused, ineffectual men unable to command the loyalty and devotion of the women they long for.

You are welcome here if you are interested in actually learning and improving. If you're more interested in pushing world views based on untested mental models onto people who are out there every day and actually doing this stuff, that's not going to fly.

Maybe have a think about why you're on here, and decide if this is a place you'd like to participate in and get on board with. I will say this though: this is not the comment section of YouTube.

Chase

 

[Lotus]

This thread has had me thinking about the effect of music on your mental state and mood.... And It realm hit me yesterday how influential the tone of the music your listening to sets your mental state at ANY given time.

So far we have talked about how people relate to love songs because they remind you of past lovers, but this works for other genres as well.

For example(in my experience)
Reggae- chills you out slows down your heart rate and helps you de-stress
EDM - does the opposite. I use this when I run
Hip hop- with big base and clever beats pumps you up.... Power lifting

I'm in sales and the past week I have woken up feeling unmotivated.. So today I listened to some rappers talking about making oodles of cash and i got to working finding myself motivated to sell and make money.

Brum

 

[Zoro]

Just came across a song I had not heard in a while. A guilty pleasure I will admit, its cheap pop but it has a good vibe and I like the "us working together" vibe. Glad You Came by The Wanted. Its a double entendre. "Stay with me I can make, Make you glad you came." I sometimes laugh at this song with its blatant sexual tone.

@ Brum,

This really can be such a rich topic and interesting!

I was just thinking how listening to sappy songs versus listening to hip hop or 80's metal will have an effect on your attitude. Imagine a man who just has a break up popping in his Peter Frampton Live album. Oh, Baby I love your way (great song) might very well bring some tears as it floods him with emotions.

On the other hand a guy who listens to hip hop/rap/80s metal just had a break up will be hearing lyrics about picking up girls at clubs, and having a good time, just light hearted fun. And thus reminded of other girls that live on earth.

 

[Lotus]

J wick,

Yea exactly! Before GC.. the day I realized I needed to brake up with my ex I was listening to a SOJA song called Better which reminded me that we had relationship issues for going on 2 years and we both tried and couldn't make things better no matter how much we cared and worked at it....months later I can still come across sappy shit that makes part of me wish I had her again.

It's a tool I'm going to try to use to effectively control my mental state for certain situations.

And we know being able to control your own mental state is one of the most powerful things you can do as life is 90% mental and 10% what you do about it.

 

[To Need a Woman]

As for approaching a girl on the street, who said I won't tell you that it's crystal clear on your approach that you're approaching her because you're interested in her? That's the point.

That's all very good, but that clearly wasn't what I was getting at. What I meant by "screams PUA" is that a lot of these girls know what's going on. I just had a quick google to confirm it. And my guess was right:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... per-laughs
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/alm ... 45519.html

A small few may benefit from it, but at this stage it's also just embarrassing our gender. Over all though, it's hard to say if whether sites like this are for the better or worse for men and women a like.

I understand the "heartbreak songs are great" mentality. I assume you are young.

Gee, I didn't realise you were that old!

When I was young and naïve and making music, I made heartbreak songs myself

Oh dear oh dear. I hope you're not suggesting that only young artists write love songs! It most certainly isn't the case that successful artists stop writing love songs as they get older.

And by coincidence you're a musician?

As you improve with women, songs like this begin to strike you as increasingly hollow, the sad laments of confused, ineffectual men unable to command the loyalty and devotion of the women they long for.

So if I improve with girls, I'll no longer feel passion for music? I'll always feel the same about the songs I like, sure as I'll always enjoy sex. Liking love songs doesn't necessarily mean you want to have a girlfriend/wife. You might actually think that love may be to good to be true, a silly idea, etc, but still want to vent your passion through writing, or identifying with a song. It just means you're essentially yearning about that void in your life. There will be a void either way, whether single or not. But to be able to pull off singing a love song and yet come across as alpha... now that's true alpha.

Womanisers like Rod Stewart don't sing songs about how had one night stands and defiled women. No, he sings love songs. The thing is(as I've already stressed), people who aren't young and naive don't take the lyrics literally. That's why it's an area where the GC logic doesn't apply, and you want stress that logic in case any 'naive' newbies take the love songs literally.

 

[Mr.Rob]

What I meant by "screams PUA" is that a lot of these girls know what's going on.

Heaven forbid the woman realizes that she's being hit on!

The guardian article you put up here was written by a feminist giving her opinion of the negative hype of the PUA stereotype.

The PUA article is one kids experience of getting banned from campus for doing daygame. It sounds like he got banned for coming off as creepy to the girls, and the girls probably got a bit freaked.

What kind of results do you get when you approach women? Do you get ones similar to the articles you posted or something better?

 

[Chase]

'To Need a Woman' has been banned for trolling.

I don't have any problem with folks who've been on here a while and clearly paid their dues and talked to girls and given it the old college try getting into these topics ("Is seduction bad?" "Does pickup work?" "Is XYZ thing effective?").

Newbies who haven't tried any of the material spending all their time challenging senior board members, however, is just a waste of everyone's time.

Anyway, pardon the interruption to the 'Love Songs' thread, gents.

Chase