I couldn't think of a better way to open this post than with a bit from Chris Rock's classic stand up: "Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies." He then proceeds to tell the women in the audience that everything about them is a lie. Truth in all comedy.
On my recent night out I had an encounter that brought what I feel is a very significant issue to light for me. Sparing the details (I'll give them if asked), I managed to get a girl talking to me and was able to lead her onto the dance floor for a dance. Things were going smoothly until she decided to introduce me to one of her friends. As we were talking I casually asked for her number and that's when she dropped the bomb that she's dating someone. Here's the thing: I had chatted up a couple of guys in the group first who kinda brought me in and they told me she was single. Disconnect.
A similar instance happened about a month ago, where I was literally leading a woman out of the bar to come home with me only to have her friend from afar judge her and cause her to go into auto-rejection. When I asked for a number she told me she was married and used that as her excuse to cut off her time with me. Cause yeah her marriage really meant a lot with our lips locked and my hands all over her.
The bottom line is this, I am finding that even on the most basic of basic levels I cannot trust anything a woman says. Throughout my entire life I don't think I can say I have ever run into a trustworthy woman IE someone who simply follows through on what they say. Even when it comes to simplistic shit. A lot of instances I can say now are the result of my personal shortcomings as a man, but even so no matter how deep or superficial my relationship with a woman they always, lie, are not truthful, or at best simply do not do what they say they will do. It's at the point where a girl could tell me the sun is out, I walk outside and see a bright blue sky and I still wouldn't believe her.
This has become rather infuriating for me because I want to genuinely like women and shed more of my bitterness, but this thing really sticks. What's equally frustrating is that women are allowed to get away with this simply because they are women.
What I'm asking for from you more experienced gents are perhaps some frames or ways to make peace with this fact of life. I realize how some of this may sound so upfront I will say that rather than complain about the rules of the game, I am trying to learn them. The other thing too is that things will be going great until the, let's call it "attachment bomb," drops and then I'm cut off which makes troubleshooting my game very difficult. Cause it feels like I'm doing things right only to fall prey to circumstance. And my thing is if you are attached and aren't looking for anything don't lead me on. Once again...trust.
So yeah...any and all advice would be most appreciated since I'm stumped as to how to internalize these things and progress.
On my recent night out I had an encounter that brought what I feel is a very significant issue to light for me. Sparing the details (I'll give them if asked), I managed to get a girl talking to me and was able to lead her onto the dance floor for a dance. Things were going smoothly until she decided to introduce me to one of her friends. As we were talking I casually asked for her number and that's when she dropped the bomb that she's dating someone. Here's the thing: I had chatted up a couple of guys in the group first who kinda brought me in and they told me she was single. Disconnect.
A similar instance happened about a month ago, where I was literally leading a woman out of the bar to come home with me only to have her friend from afar judge her and cause her to go into auto-rejection. When I asked for a number she told me she was married and used that as her excuse to cut off her time with me. Cause yeah her marriage really meant a lot with our lips locked and my hands all over her.
The bottom line is this, I am finding that even on the most basic of basic levels I cannot trust anything a woman says. Throughout my entire life I don't think I can say I have ever run into a trustworthy woman IE someone who simply follows through on what they say. Even when it comes to simplistic shit. A lot of instances I can say now are the result of my personal shortcomings as a man, but even so no matter how deep or superficial my relationship with a woman they always, lie, are not truthful, or at best simply do not do what they say they will do. It's at the point where a girl could tell me the sun is out, I walk outside and see a bright blue sky and I still wouldn't believe her.
This has become rather infuriating for me because I want to genuinely like women and shed more of my bitterness, but this thing really sticks. What's equally frustrating is that women are allowed to get away with this simply because they are women.
What I'm asking for from you more experienced gents are perhaps some frames or ways to make peace with this fact of life. I realize how some of this may sound so upfront I will say that rather than complain about the rules of the game, I am trying to learn them. The other thing too is that things will be going great until the, let's call it "attachment bomb," drops and then I'm cut off which makes troubleshooting my game very difficult. Cause it feels like I'm doing things right only to fall prey to circumstance. And my thing is if you are attached and aren't looking for anything don't lead me on. Once again...trust.
So yeah...any and all advice would be most appreciated since I'm stumped as to how to internalize these things and progress.