Low-pressure daygame opener for shy beginners

Skjöldr

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
963
Click-baity article i know, but i'm not trying to sell anything.

This is an opener i started using in daygame in shops, on busy shopping streets etc, basically places where there are lot of strangers around to spectate. One of my sticking points right now is that i get shy when there are lots of people around other than my set and her acquaintances. So what i do is this:

Me: "Hey i need a female opinion on something"
Her: "Yeah?"
Me: "It's right over here" *lead her to a place in the shop/an area that is less crowded or with no people*
Me: "Actually, i didn't wanna ask anything, i just thought you looked cute/nice/cool/pretty/sexy/adorable and wanted to meet you. What's your name?"
Her: "ohh haha, i'm Sarah"
Me: "nice to meet you Sarah, i'm (name)!"
And then it just rolls from there. I think Chase calls it an "Indirect-direct" opener. (Ask question+state intent.

I used this in the mall yesterday to great effect. Example on a store clerk in a shoe store:

Me: *spot store clerk, pretty, she's helping someone else for the moment. I wait for her to help the other person and in the mean time i walked around the store checking stuff out, notice one line of shoes all had a weird blue ball under the soles. She finishes and i walks up to the cash register*
Me: "Hello, i need help with something over here"
Her: "Oh okay" *she follows me from behind*
Me: *grab one of the shoes* "why do they all have this blue ball thing under them, it looks silly"
Her: "ohh haha, it's for like support to make them more comfortable"
Me: "But it looks silly, because people are gonna walk behind you and wonder what that blue thing under your shoes are everytime you lift your foot up!"
Her: *giggles* "yeah idk..."
Me: "Anyways, the real reason i wanted to talk with you was because i thought you looked good (or did i say cute?). What's your name?"
Her: *giggle* "really? I'm (name)"
Me: "Yes! Nice to meet you i'm (name)" *handclasp*
That's it! Then we just talked from there, got her digits and she responded to my icebreaker text.

Pros and cons with this opener as i see it:
Pros:
-It makes it under the radar so there's less pressure on her (esp if she's working)
-You build compliance early on by leading her somewhere
-She's walking behind you which enables her to check you out and also frames it as her chasing you (perhaps a stretch)
-You already have broken her out of auto-pilot and have warmed her up, so when you open direct she isn't taken off-guard

Cons:
-First one is obviously that it gives less of the perks of direct and indirect game taken separately.
-When you state verbal intent almost the entire indirect side of it (except the one about warming her up and casually breaking her out of auto pilot) is blown out of the water
-When you don't immediately state verbal intent a portion of the direct power also goes away. It can be a strength in itself to take a girl off guard with a direct opener, and also you kinda chicken out with first some indirect, before you go direct. The direct opener loses some leverage.

Pros and cons i could come up with on the spot, but let me know your thoughts.


I try to make my approaches under the radar and make them seem to onlookers, that oh, they probably just know eachother. This is an irrational fear, i know, because strangers don't really give a shit either way and unless they walk over and harass you their judgements doesn't matter. But you can't rationalize your way out of irrational fears, you can only desensitize yourself away from them. In my mind it gives my ego a rational excuse like "oh because i said something casual to her the onlookers radar quickly shuts off and then i can state verbal intent when they think we know eachother or something" which takes most of the pressure off.

If you're a shy daygame beginner like me, play around with it.

Cheers.
 

Mr STIF

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
150
I love this idea, Man!

Thanks for the post, I'll definitely put it to use.
 

Glow

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
503
good stuff
and very nice outline

just a few hints

for non clerks etc go faster since they not forced to follow you and often will not show compliance especilly if theyre hot and busy. Many of the things youre writing is not true eg notions of her chasing but youre onto the fallacy of that. And you dont get compliance with a clerk - shes forced to service you. With a girl where youre a stranger asking her to follow you is not smart initiation as it gets her defences up if shell even do it.

instead shortn it up and be sharper on the delivery

eg
you: excuse me, do you know where theres a bank around here?
girl: blah
you: actually i dont care i just wanted to talk with you <<smirk>>
then go into next parts eg - are you french?

this way its delivered stronger with its impact condensed while setting up the next part
 
Last edited:

Skjöldr

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
963
good stuff
and very nice outline

just a few hints

for non clerks etc go faster since they not forced to follow you and often will not show compliance especilly if theyre hot and busy. Many of the things youre writing is not true eg notions of her chasing but youre onto the fallacy of that. And you dont get compliance with a clerk - shes forced to service you. With a girl where youre a stranger asking her to follow you is not smart initiation as it gets her defences up if shell even do it.

instead shortn it up and be sharper on the delivery

eg
you: excuse me, do you know where theres a bank around here?
girl: blah
you: actually i dont care i just wanted to talk with you <<smirk>>
then go into next parts eg - are you french?

this way its delivered stronger with its impact condensed while setting up the next part
Yeah you're right about the clerks and them not getting compliance. I have used this opener on shoppers too, and it didn't seem like it wasn't fast enough. Maybe because i didn't move them very far, only a few meters.
 

Glow

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
503
Yeah you're right about the clerks and them not getting compliance. I have used this opener on shoppers too, and it didn't seem like it wasn't fast enough. Maybe because i didn't move them very far, only a few meters.

Fair
i think its the example that iffys my intuition a lil
 
Last edited:

Skjöldr

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
963
Fair
i think its the example that iffys my intuition a lil
Ah right. I spotted a 2 set in a split male/female clothing store. They had just walked in at the male clothing area so i ran up and said "Hey, i need a female opinion real quick", and literally walked like 3-4 meters, turned around and said "Actually i don't need to ask you anything, i just thought you looked cute and wanted to meet you"
 

terminator92

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
97
Click-baity article i know, but i'm not trying to sell anything.

This is an opener i started using in daygame in shops, on busy shopping streets etc, basically places where there are lot of strangers around to spectate. One of my sticking points right now is that i get shy when there are lots of people around other than my set and her acquaintances. So what i do is this:

Me: "Hey i need a female opinion on something"
Her: "Yeah?"
Me: "It's right over here" *lead her to a place in the shop/an area that is less crowded or with no people*
Me: "Actually, i didn't wanna ask anything, i just thought you looked cute/nice/cool/pretty/sexy/adorable and wanted to meet you. What's your name?"
Her: "ohh haha, i'm Sarah"
Me: "nice to meet you Sarah, i'm (name)!"
And then it just rolls from there. I think Chase calls it an "Indirect-direct" opener. (Ask question+state intent.

I used this in the mall yesterday to great effect. Example on a store clerk in a shoe store:

Me: *spot store clerk, pretty, she's helping someone else for the moment. I wait for her to help the other person and in the mean time i walked around the store checking stuff out, notice one line of shoes all had a weird blue ball under the soles. She finishes and i walks up to the cash register*
Me: "Hello, i need help with something over here"
Her: "Oh okay" *she follows me from behind*
Me: *grab one of the shoes* "why do they all have this blue ball thing under them, it looks silly"
Her: "ohh haha, it's for like support to make them more comfortable"
Me: "But it looks silly, because people are gonna walk behind you and wonder what that blue thing under your shoes are everytime you lift your foot up!"
Her: *giggles* "yeah idk..."
Me: "Anyways, the real reason i wanted to talk with you was because i thought you looked good (or did i say cute?). What's your name?"
Her: *giggle* "really? I'm (name)"
Me: "Yes! Nice to meet you i'm (name)" *handclasp*
That's it! Then we just talked from there, got her digits and she responded to my icebreaker text.

Pros and cons with this opener as i see it:
Pros:
-It makes it under the radar so there's less pressure on her (esp if she's working)
-You build compliance early on by leading her somewhere
-She's walking behind you which enables her to check you out and also frames it as her chasing you (perhaps a stretch)
-You already have broken her out of auto-pilot and have warmed her up, so when you open direct she isn't taken off-guard

Cons:
-First one is obviously that it gives less of the perks of direct and indirect game taken separately.
-When you state verbal intent almost the entire indirect side of it (except the one about warming her up and casually breaking her out of auto pilot) is blown out of the water
-When you don't immediately state verbal intent a portion of the direct power also goes away. It can be a strength in itself to take a girl off guard with a direct opener, and also you kinda chicken out with first some indirect, before you go direct. The direct opener loses some leverage.

Pros and cons i could come up with on the spot, but let me know your thoughts.


I try to make my approaches under the radar and make them seem to onlookers, that oh, they probably just know eachother. This is an irrational fear, i know, because strangers don't really give a shit either way and unless they walk over and harass you their judgements doesn't matter. But you can't rationalize your way out of irrational fears, you can only desensitize yourself away from them. In my mind it gives my ego a rational excuse like "oh because i said something casual to her the onlookers radar quickly shuts off and then i can state verbal intent when they think we know eachother or something" which takes most of the pressure off.

If you're a shy daygame beginner like me, play around with it.

Cheers.
Oh my god. Its right here, you yourself are getting into it and we have been having a discussion of this in this thread now:


What you outlined above is way more socially calibrated. For example what you did with the store clerk. You can always throw out a statement of interest, might as well do it after showing your personality off first or at least showing that you are a socially calibrated guy first. This is great. Glad you posted this! :)
 
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