Low vs High Energy seduction

[DLegend]

When I see Sean Connery in film I'm like, man... He's so edgy and cool. When I see people like Ian Somerhalder, you'd think of him as the life of the party, the fun guy, center of attention, etc. Which one is better for seduction? What are the pros/cons of the two styles?

I find myself switching back and forth between low and high energy. When I'm feeling normal i'll be low energy, but when I'm feeling really good, really confident, like I'm a god after talking to a girl and having it go good, i'll be really high energy, and I won't be focused on myself as much, words just roll out of my mouth. Does this happen to you guys?

 

[Anonymous]

Do whatever resonates with you. You can be effective with any kind of style, it's just the principles behind it and whether they are based in something real.

I've experimented with high energy style, but it doesn't suit me. It takes a lot of energy, as I'm introverted and I tend to be a strong, silent type naturally. For some people, they are naturally extroverted and talkative types, so using "flash" or high energy game is more congruent for them.

One thing that I find advantageous about being the low energy guy is that while the high energy guy is throwing his voice, his body and his vibe around the room, I can focus my energy on one person, and if I start a conversation with them, it's like we create a bubble, where only the two of us are there. I allow myself to fall into a kind of trance state, where my eyes are locked in on the girl and nothing else matters. It has a hypnotizing effect on the girl. I believe there is no greater feeling to a woman than feeling like she is the only person in the room in a sea of nameless faces.

The advantage of high energy game is obviously at large parties with high energy crowds and loud music, or dance clubs. There being an infectious, effervescent personality is more useful. Not my particular flavor of vodka, though.

I gravitate towards cafes, lounges, chilled out bars when I hang out, so my lower energy, laid-back vibe is better for that. I also don't like to talk about myself much, and prefer drawing her out of her shell and getting her to divulge her life story to me, allowing me to remain a bit aloof and mysterious. For me, it's very congruent and I've had a lot of success using this "style".

Experiment with different styles and choose what feels right to you. It's always good to be versatile and turn up the energy depending on the venue and crowd. But ideally you want to have a default style. More specialist than a jack-of-all-trades type.

 

[Johnny]

Good points from the previous poster.

One important realization is that there is not only one way to seduce or charm women. The best one for you is the one that is most aligned with your personality.

I suggest you watch Vicky Christina Barcelona. Juan, the male lead, is very low energy and relaxed. It's a great movie that I've learned a lot from.

Another great movie is Alfie where Jude Law plays the main lead. Also a great movie that I've learned a lot from. Alfie is different than Juan, though. He's much more playful and high energy.

Personally, I tend to lead more towards the Alfie character, but I also have a lot of Juan in me. It really depends on the situation and my own mood. I would never try to be high energy just to fit in. I'd rather have people conform to me instead of reacting to the environment.

 

[DLegend]

Yea very good points. For me it's kinda different and I don't understand... When I'm just starting out I'll go low energy, but once I get dome social momentum i break out the high energy and the confidence rockets upwards.. I feel like my mind is right now thinks if I am low energy, then I don't feel good, and if I'm high energy, then I must be confident asf.. it's weird

 

[Draton]

I'm primarily a low energy guy. The only times I go high energy are if I'm hosting a party, in which case I'll be creating group conversations and introducing people to each other. I like to think of a "medium" energy, which is useful in bars/clubs, where you'll go around dancing and walking around talking to people. Once I find a girl I like, I'll isolate and tone it down to low energy, which is far more useful for seduction.