LR- LR - First since joining GC

[NewBeeWinner]

Hey guys so I finally got my first LR since joining GC

The first meeting: It was Friday and I was tired and ready to go home early on campus. I had parked at a lot away from campus, as it made parking free. So, I hopped on the shuttle and was the only one on for a while. Then this girl hops on the shuttle and begins to talk to me. I ask if shes single and she says she's not. So I follow up with Chases "So is it pretty serious, are you going to marry him?" In a joking tone at the end. She says she's only been dating him a few months. So I then go straight into learning she's studying for her masters, is 23, a native of the state we're in, and she has a place to herself having just moved out of her parents. She loves hiking and I take the chance to invite her for a hike, which she says she'd like.

The follow up: I text her my usual "Hey (name), its NewBeeWinner - nice to meet you today " She replies that she enjoyed meeting me to. As our initial interaction went well, I text her the next day to make plans for the hike on Sunday, as I was busy Saturday.

The interesting twist: She replies with "I think I'm free! By the way, I'm now single! Hahaha"

Seeing this obvious window, I say "cool " and then say where and when to meet me. She doesn't respond, so I text her that I'm taking it as a yes unless a different time works better. She replies that shell actually be staying at her parents this weekend and asks if I'm free another day. I tell her my avalibility and ask for her schedule.

She replies back a while later telling me her schedule and asking if I'd like to meet her for coffee or lunch between her classes. She didn't bring up that following Tuesday, so I stated I'd like to join her for lunch, but it would be best Tuesday, my most flexible day. She agrees and we make a time and place to meet.

The date: I send a antiflake text the morning of seeing if we're still on and she says we are and that she's excited.

Fast forward and we meet for pizza at one of my favorite pizza places. She had never been there before so she was excited. We talked and I deep dived until the topic of ice cream came up to which I said "I know a great place for ice cream. Come on, let's go!" And then led the way. We got ice cream and then I brought up going back to her place, which she was glad to do.

However, on the way, she brought up that she didn't feel comfortable with me as she hadn't known me for long. So I took a detour back to campus (she lives nearby) and dropped her off to use the restroom. I thought in the car "I'm losing her. I must kiss her soon" She then came back and I suggested we go to the Halloween store (which she said she wanted to do as that would be fun) and just have a good time. She agreed.

Outside the Halloween store, in the parking lot before heading in, I turned to her and said "Hey want to do something crazy?" Then man-handle kissed her. She was quickly responsive and went straight into making out. She said I was a good kisser and we went into the store. We messed around and looked at all the costumes - even danced together in the store to the music (it was around closing time), which really built sexual tensions between us. We kissed throughout the store and then finally headed back to her place.

We had some sexual talk of fantasies, interests, and what turns us on. At her place, I met her roommate then (after she cleaned her room up a bit) followed the girl upstairs to her room. She had bought some posters, so I helped her put them up. Then we laid on her bed and began making out. She started to take my jacket off, which I helped her do. Then, as we made out, more clothes came off us both. She eventually was completely naked and I had my jeans still on and shirt off.

I then fingered her and got her arching her back multiple times, kissing her neck and body throughout the process. She ate it up. I had tried at one point to grab her hand to put in on my dick, but she gave me resistance. She said she didn't want to continue farther on the first date and wanted to wait for more sexual things. She said she didnt do sex on the first date normally, as she didnt know me well enough yet. So I continued until she was tired. We laid next to each other and I played with her for a while. She asked me if I was trying to turn her on again to which I replied "I am always trying to turn you on. The question is if its working or not" she said it was. I eventually, while playing with her, reached down and pulled out my dick and as she was tired we just laid there. I pulled her over me and she laid on my chest looking at my dick and just enjoying the moment.

She kept bringing up how amazing it was that all this happened within 5 hours (including drive time) whereas other guys would spend all day on a date with her and not get nowhere near as far after 10 hours. That made me feel good to know that I was doing better in this aspect.

After a while of cuddling together, I got up as I had to leave for work early in the morning. I got up and my jeans fell further. She said "Wow. You're huge. You're well endowed!" To which my confidence grew like a giant. I told her she needed to touch it at least once before the night ends, which she did, noting her hand couldn't even wrap all the way around.

She then got dressed and led me outside to my car, asking me to text her when I got home to make sure I was safe. I got home and slept great. Later I realized I could've just spent the night but I would've had to plan that beforehand.

Its been two days since then and I'm trying to make plans to meet her before she goes on a retreat for the weekend. Hoping I can push it further on this next meet! Definitely one of the best dates I've had in a while.

Any tips for getting girls past "I don't know you that well yet"? Its something I've run into a bit with different girls recently. I deep dive the best I can, but maybe I need to share more about myself? Thanks for reading!

Note: I forgot to add that on the way to her place she asked if I always have sex on the first date. I replies "It depends" and asked her opinion on it. She said she doesn't do first date sex as she doesn't feel she knows the guy well enough yet. I told her that it was OK and that it is important to build that trust and understanding first. However, I made sure to mention that I found it more useful to just enjoy the moment and not go into things with expectations, to which she agreed.

 

[Seppuku]

Quite well done.

So did you have full sexual intercourse? From what I read, you had sexual foreplay only.

But it was still well done. You persisted, and sticked to her, until you reached her bedroom. A few comments:

• "Are you single? - No I'm not". Whether she had a BF or not, it was most likely a test to see if you would self eject. Most guys would probably self eject here. But you didn't, and persisted in a sexy manner. So next, surprise, surprise, "I am single now", which means (irrespective of if she has a BF or not) "I'm sexually available and interested". Test passed with success.
• Voicing out about going to her place. It triggered her ASD "never on first time". Once this sentence was out of her chest, you could expect more resistance to come. If you had just sticked to her (without saying anything about coming with her), you would have ended at her place "de facto".
• Your clever suggestion to go to the Halloween store was on point. It allowed you to continue further and eventually still end up at her place.
• When you face Last Minute Resistance, one possible tactics is to stop, pull back, and do something else (non sexual). Then restart escalation. And again and again, as many times as required.

She kept bringing up how amazing it was that all this happened within 5 hours (including drive time) whereas other guys would spend all day on a date with her and not get nowhere near as far after 10 hours.

Most guys end up nowhere because they do not have any goal for the date, except trying to secure another date. You had a goal (going to her place), and you smoothly led towards this goal. Good job! Pulling something like you did will blow her mind.

So let us know if you have more updates here - will you manage to finish the job.

In my experience a "failed escalation" in the face of LMR was not necessarily the end. When the girl was extremely excited about me but had an in principle "never on first date" LMR, I was often able to conclude on a later encounter.

In any case it was a good job. That's how you should structure all your seductions.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Thanks for the comments.

So to update, I tried to set up a second date with her to close the deal. However, she kept saying she was super busy and didn't have any free time. I eventually got frustrated and put the ball in her court. She then responded the same thing - that she was swamped and had no time, but she liked my date idea. I then said "Alright, no worries, we'll get it sorted out later =) "

A few hours later I got this text:

Listen NewBeeWinner, I'll be honest, I'm really not interested in seeing you again. I appreciate the offer though, and wish you the best.

I asked why but got no response. Just feeling frustrated with myself for not closing the deal on the first date - I was really interested in this girl.

It has seriously cemented in me that I need to close the deal on the first date. I've lost 3 girls (including her) recently because of this and I'm sick of it.

I hate to lose a girl like this. Wish my update could've been different. Until the next one, I guess

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update: she replied this -

I just thought you were very pushy sexually, and honestly, it made me very uncomfortable.

How do I respond to this?? Also, what am I doing that would cause this (for future reference)? Help is appreciated!!!

 

[ray_zorse]

On a quick read, the problem isn't what you did, the problem is actually that she changed her mind and effectively rewrote the history after the date.

So, if you took her feedback literally you would think you were too pushy, however if you take into account that her emotions changed after she came home empty and frustrated without being fucked, since you didn't push aside her tactics and obstacles, then it becomes clear you weren't pushy enough. However, don't take this analysis 100% literally since obviously the "pushiness" has to be done in the right way, using the techniques mentioned by Seppuku. I just wanted to throw in some encouragement as you were doing all the right things

Girls are emotional creatures and the past is always rewritten to fit the current emotions. So, behaviour that she found sexy at the time she will now describe as creepy, etc. I also suggest you read articles on the main site about "missed escalation window" since this is a succinct description of how and why she changes her attitude.

cheers, Ray