EVENING / PERSONAL BACKGROUND
As I travel by myself, I really felt a powerful need to connect.
Yes, happens to introverts too
.
The girls I had gotten intimate with either had weak English –for the most part- or were too far from me to really connect with.
So yesterday night I joined a Couchsurfing event, where I knew I could find a lot of more like-minded international people with very good English.
Girls weren’t priority this time, my intention was to talk and bond with as many people as possible: my soul needed it.
That was the case, and it was a good fun evening.
There was also a hot local girl, the hottest of the group, whom of course many guys tried to get with. She’d later joke I was gay and later comment on the pic of a woman on my phone that “so you’re not gay maybe, good to know”, and later write she “arrived home” and that “I was dangerous”.
But as much as it could be interesting, it’s another story.
GIRL BACKGROUND
I had met the LR’s girl on a busy street in Bangkok, Thailand, in the wee hours of the beginning of this year.
Or better, at a time when the streets are full of prostitutes coming off from their shift.
Back then she had come to see me at my hotel with a colleague a few days later, but there wasn’t any time to do anything.
She kept me writing on and off for months, which I thought was unbelievable… what for? We didn’t have a special connection, it was clear she was not coming to Europe, it was far from obvious we were gonna meet again and.. Yet she did.
FAST FORWARD A FEW MONTHS
Back to this evening, one of the guy who stayed the latest at the couchsurfing event was a Polish guy who lived in the same area she worked in, so we went together for a night cap.
Then I schedule to meet with the girl.
THE GIRL AND FRIEND
She was dressed in white, and looked even prettier than I remembered.
Her friend was also hot and had the most amazing hair I had seen in a while. She also spoke the best English and was always the one speaking and in the limelight, so we’ll call her “queen bee”.
FRAME BATTLE
The two girls had just started eating before coming to me and wanted to return back to “the restaurant”.
And I wanted to pick up my girl and move.
There you go, frame battle, which before trying to “win”, you should try to understand: many frame battles shouldn’t be seen as battles at all. The word "battle" is itself is at danger of putting you in the wrong mindset.
Sometimes there’s a best case scenario for all and that’s what you should focus on finding. And sometimes the best case scenario for all doesn’t necessarily mean 100% your way, and many times it will hurt you more than help you pushing for your own personal best (this is something I learned in relationship as well after a mistake in bully my way through without concern for the affected party here) .
This one was one such cases, but rather than trying to understand the situation, I kept fighting my way like a silly mule.
My mistake was partially coming from a negative mindset of mine: I mistrust tourist traps, people trying to sell you anything in the streets, prostitutes and poor places where people have incentive in swindling you.
And here we were the epicenter of all 4 things put together (as a side note: you should be wary of all these 4 things, yet in some people’s cases it goes too far).
Also, we’re speaking about people who charge men all day here, and I’m always afraid of being asked to pay.
Which, incidentally, is something I should work on as it’s limiting me.
Queen bee explained they had just started eating and that I shouldn’t have paid for anything, to which I added “of course not”, which I believe came across as if I really thought it was a foregone conclusion.
Finally, better late than never, I realize I’m fighting a battle which I both can hardly win and, most importantly, which makes no sense fighting at all as I could actually enjoy spending some time with both of them and learn a few new things all the while making them both happy.
And if I don’t like it… I can still walk.
THE AFTER WORK IN THE RIGHT LIGHT DISTRICT
We walk a bit into the heart of the red light district, which was now closing down.
An interesting scene in itself.
Some of the late guys are going home with some of the bar girls.
Some of them will be going home to find a surprise between those girls' legs, I think.
All the meanwhile, I feel great, like a fucking insider in spite of being just a passer by: I’m with hot girls, who happen to be two prostitutes, going to their usual thingy like a good friend, later likely fucking one of them… And paying shit.
All the while talking and smiling with them while walking.
And we do a couple of corners and we’re there.
A was pleasantly surprise: this is not restaurant at all, it’s just a row of tables in the streets, I fucking love this!
The patrons are all bar girls off shift and some guys working in “supporting services”, I presume.
My girl was sitting at the left of the head of the table, so as we turned the corner a guy immediately got up to let me sit.
Now it’s me, “my girl”, queen bee, a third pro and two dudes, either pimps, promoters or whatever the hell they did, none of them spoke English.
And I’m the guy at the table top.
I’m so happy, I couldn’t believe I didn’t wanna come here, I feel this is so cool, getting to know the life of these people behind doors, as “one of them”.
I also eat some of the stuff on the table, which is fresh fish, only just served as you’d expect to be served on a foldable table in a dodgy street.
And my glass gets refilled as soon as it’s getting empty together with ice cubes.
Everyone is happy and smiling and joking, and queen bee translates for me a little bit.
Queen bee is own the show: I might be the foreigner with a shirt sitting at the tabletop, but everything revolves around her here.
I make a small mistake, I believe, when one of the guy asks me who’s the hottest girl on the table.
I take a bit my time and say “I’m with her, she is”, putting my hand on my girl's back. I don’t wanna run any risk to ruin a done deal. Then I get asked “second place”, and say with a smile “no comment”.
To get a bit more charming points I should have probably said something like “they are all beautiful, my girl just gets that little bit extra point for… (insert something specific about her)”.
But anyway, it’s great.
We stay for quite a bit in the end, then I start pushing my girl to move and after a while we get up.
When it comes time to pay, people are rushing to get their cash out, but queen bee takes care of it.
Queen bee also takes care of arranging my and her friend's hookup with the translation, and I say that if my girl lives alone then I’d like to go to her place (a first time having a one night stand at a girl’s place BTW).
She lives alone, so we go to her place.
Queen bee also hails a cab for me and my girl and bids us farewell.
TAXI RIDE
Saying my girl's English is broken would be flattering to her language skills.
So we hold hands a bit, look at each other and smile and I make some fun of the emoticons blinking on her messaging app.
Mostly I just enjoy the ride though.
With a big smile on my face, I couldn’t help but think how “la vita e’ bella”, “life is beautiful”.
Once we get to her place, I went for paying (less than 3 euros anyway), but she insisted and didn't even want half of the fare.
HER PLACE
Her place was a typical local house, some interesting stuff to say and some funny shit happened, but I won’t go there to avoid any chances of sounding demeaning, because in truth I liked this girl and I was very grateful for the evening and for the opportunity of seeing where a local woman lives.
You wouldn't believe there'd be any LMRs in this case, yet there was something.
This girl wasn't the man-eater kind of prostitute, she was more the baby-looking kinda of girl with pink sheets, cartoon stickers on her fridge and a bunny as a pet who got into that game because of no other options, and who in spite of her daily job still seemed to hold fantasies about men.
Then we did it.
Sex itself wasn't great, it was morning by now after a long day and I didn't even want it to be that great as I didn't want her to get too emotionally attached (probably she wouldn't have anyway, but still).
I stayed until early morning and then went back home.
It was a fantastic day.
As I travel by myself, I really felt a powerful need to connect.
Yes, happens to introverts too
.The girls I had gotten intimate with either had weak English –for the most part- or were too far from me to really connect with.
So yesterday night I joined a Couchsurfing event, where I knew I could find a lot of more like-minded international people with very good English.
Girls weren’t priority this time, my intention was to talk and bond with as many people as possible: my soul needed it
.That was the case, and it was a good fun evening.
There was also a hot local girl, the hottest of the group, whom of course many guys tried to get with. She’d later joke I was gay and later comment on the pic of a woman on my phone that “so you’re not gay maybe, good to know”, and later write she “arrived home” and that “I was dangerous”.
But as much as it could be interesting, it’s another story.
GIRL BACKGROUND
I had met the LR’s girl on a busy street in Bangkok, Thailand, in the wee hours of the beginning of this year.
Or better, at a time when the streets are full of prostitutes coming off from their shift.
Back then she had come to see me at my hotel with a colleague a few days later, but there wasn’t any time to do anything.
She kept me writing on and off for months, which I thought was unbelievable… what for? We didn’t have a special connection, it was clear she was not coming to Europe, it was far from obvious we were gonna meet again and.. Yet she did.
FAST FORWARD A FEW MONTHS
Back to this evening, one of the guy who stayed the latest at the couchsurfing event was a Polish guy who lived in the same area she worked in, so we went together for a night cap.
Then I schedule to meet with the girl.
THE GIRL AND FRIEND
She was dressed in white, and looked even prettier than I remembered.
Her friend was also hot and had the most amazing hair I had seen in a while. She also spoke the best English and was always the one speaking and in the limelight, so we’ll call her “queen bee”.
FRAME BATTLE
The two girls had just started eating before coming to me and wanted to return back to “the restaurant”.
And I wanted to pick up my girl and move.
There you go, frame battle, which before trying to “win”, you should try to understand: many frame battles shouldn’t be seen as battles at all. The word "battle" is itself is at danger of putting you in the wrong mindset.
Sometimes there’s a best case scenario for all and that’s what you should focus on finding. And sometimes the best case scenario for all doesn’t necessarily mean 100% your way, and many times it will hurt you more than help you pushing for your own personal best (this is something I learned in relationship as well after a mistake in bully my way through without concern for the affected party here) .
This one was one such cases, but rather than trying to understand the situation, I kept fighting my way like a silly mule.
My mistake was partially coming from a negative mindset of mine: I mistrust tourist traps, people trying to sell you anything in the streets, prostitutes and poor places where people have incentive in swindling you.
And here we were the epicenter of all 4 things put together (as a side note: you should be wary of all these 4 things, yet in some people’s cases it goes too far).
Also, we’re speaking about people who charge men all day here, and I’m always afraid of being asked to pay.
Which, incidentally, is something I should work on as it’s limiting me.
Queen bee explained they had just started eating and that I shouldn’t have paid for anything, to which I added “of course not”, which I believe came across as if I really thought it was a foregone conclusion
.Finally, better late than never, I realize I’m fighting a battle which I both can hardly win and, most importantly, which makes no sense fighting at all as I could actually enjoy spending some time with both of them and learn a few new things all the while making them both happy.
And if I don’t like it… I can still walk.
THE AFTER WORK IN THE RIGHT LIGHT DISTRICT
We walk a bit into the heart of the red light district, which was now closing down.
An interesting scene in itself.
Some of the late guys are going home with some of the bar girls.
Some of them will be going home to find a surprise between those girls' legs, I think.
All the meanwhile, I feel great, like a fucking insider in spite of being just a passer by: I’m with hot girls, who happen to be two prostitutes, going to their usual thingy like a good friend, later likely fucking one of them… And paying shit.
All the while talking and smiling with them while walking.
And we do a couple of corners and we’re there.
A was pleasantly surprise: this is not restaurant at all, it’s just a row of tables in the streets, I fucking love this!
The patrons are all bar girls off shift and some guys working in “supporting services”, I presume.
My girl was sitting at the left of the head of the table, so as we turned the corner a guy immediately got up to let me sit.
Now it’s me, “my girl”, queen bee, a third pro and two dudes, either pimps, promoters or whatever the hell they did, none of them spoke English.
And I’m the guy at the table top.
I’m so happy, I couldn’t believe I didn’t wanna come here, I feel this is so cool, getting to know the life of these people behind doors, as “one of them”.
I also eat some of the stuff on the table, which is fresh fish, only just served as you’d expect to be served on a foldable table in a dodgy street.
And my glass gets refilled as soon as it’s getting empty together with ice cubes.
Everyone is happy and smiling and joking, and queen bee translates for me a little bit.
Queen bee is own the show: I might be the foreigner with a shirt sitting at the tabletop, but everything revolves around her here.
I make a small mistake, I believe, when one of the guy asks me who’s the hottest girl on the table.
I take a bit my time and say “I’m with her, she is”, putting my hand on my girl's back. I don’t wanna run any risk to ruin a done deal. Then I get asked “second place”, and say with a smile “no comment”.
To get a bit more charming points I should have probably said something like “they are all beautiful, my girl just gets that little bit extra point for… (insert something specific about her)”.
But anyway, it’s great.
We stay for quite a bit in the end, then I start pushing my girl to move and after a while we get up.
When it comes time to pay, people are rushing to get their cash out, but queen bee takes care of it.
Queen bee also takes care of arranging my and her friend's hookup with the translation, and I say that if my girl lives alone then I’d like to go to her place (a first time having a one night stand at a girl’s place BTW).
She lives alone, so we go to her place.
Queen bee also hails a cab for me and my girl and bids us farewell.
TAXI RIDE
Saying my girl's English is broken would be flattering to her language skills.
So we hold hands a bit, look at each other and smile and I make some fun of the emoticons blinking on her messaging app.
Mostly I just enjoy the ride though.
With a big smile on my face, I couldn’t help but think how “la vita e’ bella”, “life is beautiful”.
Once we get to her place, I went for paying (less than 3 euros anyway), but she insisted and didn't even want half of the fare.
HER PLACE
Her place was a typical local house, some interesting stuff to say and some funny shit happened, but I won’t go there to avoid any chances of sounding demeaning, because in truth I liked this girl and I was very grateful for the evening and for the opportunity of seeing where a local woman lives.
You wouldn't believe there'd be any LMRs in this case, yet there was something.
This girl wasn't the man-eater kind of prostitute, she was more the baby-looking kinda of girl with pink sheets, cartoon stickers on her fridge and a bunny as a pet who got into that game because of no other options, and who in spite of her daily job still seemed to hold fantasies about men.
Then we did it.
Sex itself wasn't great, it was morning by now after a long day and I didn't even want it to be that great as I didn't want her to get too emotionally attached (probably she wouldn't have anyway, but still).
I stayed until early morning and then went back home.
It was a fantastic day.
