This is my most recent LR. I almost don't want to type ones like this up because they go so smoothly and the post is just 'play solid game and it works' but then again you never know where someone can find that little bit of value. When I first wrote this I started going a lot into how I run online game and how Ive adjusted things for my city and age but it started to look like two separate posts mushed into one so Ive just included the story and will write up the overarching stuff later if there's interest.
In my area I have found a lot more success on Hinge than Bumble or Tinder. I've been told that there are just more active users on it antidotally by women but I also like to think its because of the message feature where you can make little comments on their pics. The ones that hook are usually pretty witty.
Ive lost the chat so I dont have exact references now but in all her pics of her looking cute one of her prompts was something about her most embarrassing moment was when someone threw something at her. I wish I remembered exactly what the prompt was and what she said but it was something like that because I do remember ignoring all the pics and opening with "Oof, what are you doing to make people throw things at you?"
We chatted a bit back and forth and it turns out we had quite a bit in common. We had worked in the same office building about five years ago and I had even met her boss. My strategy with the initial chat is to keep it light and fun. I talk about all the "normal" dating questions and have canned responses that have good stories that show value and built in hooks so she can ask more about me as an ioi. My goal here is to meet in person not ONS so I dont do anything more sexual than jokes with inuendo. Assuming the girl is responsive I can usually get the number in an hour or two of chatting and a date set up after a day or two.
The issues in this interaction are going to be logistics. She lives an hour away from me and has custody of her son. Knowing this I know its probably going to take a few dates to get her to my house bc shes going to be hesitant to drive all the way here, and she can't stay because someone will be watching him. With the son cutoff the dates cant be so long that we just hang out all night and end up back at my place so I don't even try. The other thing is that she is sober, so meeting "for a drink" wasn't going to work.
First date I suggest mexican place half way between us. I like Mexican for a restaurant date because everyone likes mexican food, it doesnt have that cheap chain restaurant feel but also is inexpensive and doesnt give off tryhard vibes. They also are super fast and try and rush you our the door when I like because I am a big proponent of milti-location dates. Seeing if she will bounce is a great indication of where you're at. The convo goes well and we just do more comfort and talk about our lives. Theres a good vibe and the plates are gone so I suggest we go to a pool hall down the road and shoot some pool. She agrees but turns out only because she wanted to stay with me. When we get there she admits that she has never played pool before
.
At first I was like wtf is this a red flag? Who hasn't played pool before? But it turned out really nice because it put me in the coaching frame and I got to tell her what to do and explain everything and some nice touching in to show how to hold sticks, etc. Focus on having fun with her and not being a pool master. Little things like if you're pulling ahead make an obviously shit shot and shoot her a smirk and say oops!.
There was a little sofa by the table so after a few games we just sat down and I put my arm around her and we just spoke more about our future and ambitions and stuff. I made sure to qualify her on the things she said. Then she said she didnt want to but had to go get back to her kids. I expected this and walked her out to the car and have her a quick peck and told her to text me when she got home safe, lets go out again. She agreed.
Date two we had the same constraints and I chose Dave and Busters. I like going here it keeps everything fun and theres always something to do even if the conversation dies down for some reason., Also lots of fun competition and opportunity to tease and high five and whatever else. The only issue was the gaming floor was actually pretty loud and it was hard to talk. So I used wanting a beer as an excuse to bounce back and forth between sitting at the bar talking vs going and doing stuff so the night stayed dynamic. After we hit all the machines we were chatting at the bar for a while and decided we were hungry. Again I like multi location dates so I made a face at the bar food and said lets go to the Outback thats across the street and have a steak instead. We do that and conversation is good. Got kind of lucky with this next part but the restaurant staff was wanting to clean and close but they had a nice big outside waiting area with patio furniture the manager said we could hang out in as long as we wanted. It was so much nicer than sitting at the table or a bar. So again im on a sofa with my arm around her and this time no one else is around. We had plenty of comfort at this point so I take the conversation sexual and we start talking about the craziest stuff we have done. We talk a bit about doing stuff in public and I say something like 'I wouldnt try this on our second date but I'd totally take you sneak you into the outback bathroom'. She agrees and we start making future plans of all the places it would be hot to fuck.
I intersperse this chat with a few small little makeouts but always pull back. The intent here is just to acknowledge whats happening and move the interaction forward, NOT to have a harddcore makeout session and get her all hot and bothered in a place where we cannot close. Again she is like I hate that I have to go I wish I could stay all night and Im just like I know, no worries we will see each other again and kiss her goodbye.
Third date I know its on. I tell her she has to come to my house and I'm going to cook her a salmon dinner. I give her the task of bringing the asparagus and some spices which she does. When she gets here we go through the motions, I cook the dinner, nice convo is had. Then we go and sit on my sofa and I put my arm around her again. I talk not long until we are making out. She straddles me and tell me to talk dirty. I oblige and she melts. The rest is history.
Shes pretty cool and laid back. Turns out shes a homebody and doesn't even like going out. Shes been in my rotation a while now and just wants to drive to my place 1-2 a week, have dinner and netflix and chill.
I did say "good convo was had" a lot in this LR and thats not entirely true. She is shy as fuck. Good convo was had because I know how to lead a conversation and keep it alive and how to move the pickup forward and not say anything stupid. This skill 100% saved this. She even mentioned last week that before me she thought only super loud boisterous outgoing guys could get her out of her shell but she really liked how I was able to do it. I could totally see a more introverted dude losing the interaction and thinking nothing was there, but even though you had to make her talk, all the compliance ques were always there.
At first I was worried I was spending too much on her by paying for multiple restaurants and she never offered to chip in but I also think that when you present as having this awesome job and they obviously aren't at your level (she has a job with her degree but I am director level at my company) then it isnt a huge issue to pay for things, especially at first. Since the lay she really got self conscious of it too and is always offering to bring me stuff or stop by the store and buy me stuff for the house on the way here.
In my area I have found a lot more success on Hinge than Bumble or Tinder. I've been told that there are just more active users on it antidotally by women but I also like to think its because of the message feature where you can make little comments on their pics. The ones that hook are usually pretty witty.
Ive lost the chat so I dont have exact references now but in all her pics of her looking cute one of her prompts was something about her most embarrassing moment was when someone threw something at her. I wish I remembered exactly what the prompt was and what she said but it was something like that because I do remember ignoring all the pics and opening with "Oof, what are you doing to make people throw things at you?"
We chatted a bit back and forth and it turns out we had quite a bit in common. We had worked in the same office building about five years ago and I had even met her boss. My strategy with the initial chat is to keep it light and fun. I talk about all the "normal" dating questions and have canned responses that have good stories that show value and built in hooks so she can ask more about me as an ioi. My goal here is to meet in person not ONS so I dont do anything more sexual than jokes with inuendo. Assuming the girl is responsive I can usually get the number in an hour or two of chatting and a date set up after a day or two.
The issues in this interaction are going to be logistics. She lives an hour away from me and has custody of her son. Knowing this I know its probably going to take a few dates to get her to my house bc shes going to be hesitant to drive all the way here, and she can't stay because someone will be watching him. With the son cutoff the dates cant be so long that we just hang out all night and end up back at my place so I don't even try. The other thing is that she is sober, so meeting "for a drink" wasn't going to work.
First date I suggest mexican place half way between us. I like Mexican for a restaurant date because everyone likes mexican food, it doesnt have that cheap chain restaurant feel but also is inexpensive and doesnt give off tryhard vibes. They also are super fast and try and rush you our the door when I like because I am a big proponent of milti-location dates. Seeing if she will bounce is a great indication of where you're at. The convo goes well and we just do more comfort and talk about our lives. Theres a good vibe and the plates are gone so I suggest we go to a pool hall down the road and shoot some pool. She agrees but turns out only because she wanted to stay with me. When we get there she admits that she has never played pool before
.At first I was like wtf is this a red flag? Who hasn't played pool before? But it turned out really nice because it put me in the coaching frame and I got to tell her what to do and explain everything and some nice touching in to show how to hold sticks, etc. Focus on having fun with her and not being a pool master. Little things like if you're pulling ahead make an obviously shit shot and shoot her a smirk and say oops!.
There was a little sofa by the table so after a few games we just sat down and I put my arm around her and we just spoke more about our future and ambitions and stuff. I made sure to qualify her on the things she said. Then she said she didnt want to but had to go get back to her kids. I expected this and walked her out to the car and have her a quick peck and told her to text me when she got home safe, lets go out again. She agreed.
Date two we had the same constraints and I chose Dave and Busters. I like going here it keeps everything fun and theres always something to do even if the conversation dies down for some reason., Also lots of fun competition and opportunity to tease and high five and whatever else. The only issue was the gaming floor was actually pretty loud and it was hard to talk. So I used wanting a beer as an excuse to bounce back and forth between sitting at the bar talking vs going and doing stuff so the night stayed dynamic. After we hit all the machines we were chatting at the bar for a while and decided we were hungry. Again I like multi location dates so I made a face at the bar food and said lets go to the Outback thats across the street and have a steak instead. We do that and conversation is good. Got kind of lucky with this next part but the restaurant staff was wanting to clean and close but they had a nice big outside waiting area with patio furniture the manager said we could hang out in as long as we wanted. It was so much nicer than sitting at the table or a bar. So again im on a sofa with my arm around her and this time no one else is around. We had plenty of comfort at this point so I take the conversation sexual and we start talking about the craziest stuff we have done. We talk a bit about doing stuff in public and I say something like 'I wouldnt try this on our second date but I'd totally take you sneak you into the outback bathroom'. She agrees and we start making future plans of all the places it would be hot to fuck.
I intersperse this chat with a few small little makeouts but always pull back. The intent here is just to acknowledge whats happening and move the interaction forward, NOT to have a harddcore makeout session and get her all hot and bothered in a place where we cannot close. Again she is like I hate that I have to go I wish I could stay all night and Im just like I know, no worries we will see each other again and kiss her goodbye.
Third date I know its on. I tell her she has to come to my house and I'm going to cook her a salmon dinner. I give her the task of bringing the asparagus and some spices which she does. When she gets here we go through the motions, I cook the dinner, nice convo is had. Then we go and sit on my sofa and I put my arm around her again. I talk not long until we are making out. She straddles me and tell me to talk dirty. I oblige and she melts. The rest is history.
Shes pretty cool and laid back. Turns out shes a homebody and doesn't even like going out. Shes been in my rotation a while now and just wants to drive to my place 1-2 a week, have dinner and netflix and chill.
I did say "good convo was had" a lot in this LR and thats not entirely true. She is shy as fuck. Good convo was had because I know how to lead a conversation and keep it alive and how to move the pickup forward and not say anything stupid. This skill 100% saved this. She even mentioned last week that before me she thought only super loud boisterous outgoing guys could get her out of her shell but she really liked how I was able to do it. I could totally see a more introverted dude losing the interaction and thinking nothing was there, but even though you had to make her talk, all the compliance ques were always there.
At first I was worried I was spending too much on her by paying for multiple restaurants and she never offered to chip in but I also think that when you present as having this awesome job and they obviously aren't at your level (she has a job with her degree but I am director level at my company) then it isnt a huge issue to pay for things, especially at first. Since the lay she really got self conscious of it too and is always offering to bring me stuff or stop by the store and buy me stuff for the house on the way here.
