LTR Approaching?

[Tommy]

Yo yo!

I've seen on here a few times Chase talking about at least flirting with other girls while in a long term relationship, to prevent neediness and more importantly maintain your game and skill levels. Does anyone have experience with doing this or have a process for it? Limits as to how far they would go? It seems pretty odd to me the idea of doing a cold approach, especially during the day, when i have a girlfriend. If you go direct, which is a bold and memorable move, you could end up leading a girl on and if she discovers you're in a relationship i imagine she wouldn't be too partial to getting revenge.

Anyway, pretty curious to hear back!

Cheers

 

[Parkour]

You may not want to be as direct but you can chat up girls, screen them as friends and maintain an 'if only' sort of tension that allows you to flirt but still keep it in bounds. If you do want to take it further and you're in a monogamous LTR then you may be better served by increasing the spark in your main relationship and approaching it with fresh energy. Taking it too far with others without reconciling your LTR means guilt/shame/fear of being caught, potential drama and retaliation, or imbalance of power ' one up' too far to connect.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Hi Tommy,

The whole point of hitting on other girls while in a monogamous relationship is to maintain your abundance mentality, so you can lead your relationship properly. Without abundance you will become needy, weak, and overly emotional which usually means the end of your relationship.

What I usually do is just cold approach some girls and get a few numbers without ever trying to meet up with them. You might feel a bit guilty when you do this, but doing this is completely fair when in a monogamous relationship with a girl with lots of options. Think about it. She has guys asking her out on FB and Instagram. Guys hitting on her at work, school, and on the street. This means she will always have a level of abundance just by living her life without ever taking any action. Guys don't have that luxury. We have to take action to have abundance and we do that by approaching girls to level the playing field. This is all about balancing the power dynamic in a relationship so you can keep your relationship healthy. It doesn't mean you love her any less.

Don't feel bad about not texting the girls who gave you their number. They'll forget about you in a few days.

 

[Tommy]

Thanks for both of your replies and advice. I do like both of those ideas, though living in a smaller tight knit city i think I'm better off approaching from a friend frame rather than getting numbers, at least until I'm back in a bigger city soon. Thanks again!