Mah journal (bgwh)

[bgwh]

Wow this was pretty fun and exhilarating. I feel both a sense of profound excitement, and also disappointment.

Why excitement? I figured out a way to finally start cold approaching, something I have been postponing for 20 years. If I continue like this, my 40s are going to be an exciting decade of my life.

Sad that I didn't figure this out and start 10 years later. But one way that I'm reframing it is like this: It's a lot more fun and exciting to have fun with a bunch of 25 year olds in your 40s... Just saying that gives me a thrill.

What I'm doing

I figured out an excuse by which I have a plausible excuse to approach girls, which also happens to be simultaneously true. So it's genuine, which helps with congruency. I can't reveal the whole thing so as to not dox myself, but basically the system is like this:

- Hey, are you from around here?
- Because [one of my excuses]

It helps that people think I will ask for directions (I didn't). I then proceed into something akin to an opinion opener. Unlike "who lies more", it happens to be genuine, like I genuinely need this information/opinion/ideas.

First chick (WINNING)

I saw this ACTUAL NINE standing in front of a pedestrian crossing, waiting for it to turn green. Shit, worst possible situation. When am I going to see a nine like this again??? So I quickly turned right, walked quick so I'm like 50 feet ahead, then turned back so I can cross paths with her.

- Did the from around here
- First she was cold, I kept looking at her with a smile
- Then she came up to me, don't know what she said, but she immediately opened and told me how she used to live around here, but then moved, I then explained what I need from here. Then she started conversing with me about it. And sat there expectantly and started telling me about herself.

I was like FUCK I wasn't ready for flirting or an actual conversation. She tried to prolong the conversation and started asking me questions.

Lesson: I believe she could tell I thought she was FUCKING AMAZING. Either that, or it was the horny part of the month and she went out to meet men (She was half-naked and showing off her perfect body). But she wanted to turn the interaction into something more for sure.

Second chick

It was pretty obvious she was in a hurry, in fact my instinct was to ask "Sorry are you in a hurry". Instead I asked from around here, and in a rushed way she said "no no". Though it's obvious she was in a rush and late somewhere.

(this was weird)
Then I had to pass through a park, and some girls were sitting on a bench. One of them start walking towards me looking at me like the girls had made a bet with her, she was prancing and looking at me, doing an exaggerated catwalk thing. And the girls sitting on the bench said "hi" to me.

Third chick

From afar she looked like a nine, so I went and approached her with the looking for information thing. I kind of got dissapointed to see that she's older. I mean she still had the sillhouette of a nine, but due to being in her thirties, I got dissapointed. Still I did the whole routine.

THEN A FUNNY THING HAPPENED

I noticed some dude 50 feet away looking at me like he's fucking security. That was fucking weird. He would reposition himself and look at me, as if though he's neighbourhood-watch and there to prevent girls from being talked to or something. Very menacing as well. He then tracked me as I walked off. I seriously thought about confronting him. Especially since I live in this neighbourhood. This particular open happened to be like 40 feet from my building entrance, this is where I buy my fucking groceries. So I really wanted to know if this mothercucked designated himself neighbourhood protector, given it is MY neighbourhood too.

Then I opened some woman

Same opener, completely nonsexual. I opened her because I noticed her watching me as if though I'm some suspicious dude. So I was like hey, let's open her too. We had like a 20-30 minute conversation, ended up going in philosophy, careers, the modern age.

Since I'm not actually "doing pickup" and my opener is genuine, I open and practice opening with others, not just chicks I want to bang.

DUDES I NEVER DID THIS EVER IN MY LIFE. I DID MORE IN ONE DAY than the last 25 years of knowing about this stuff. Fucking crazy.

Next noticed some parking lot attendant

I was like this dude is gonna thinkg I'm suspicious... Why don't I talk to and befriend him? Asked him something about the nearby buildings... He went into a whole thing. I practiced listening and encouraging him to talk. Probably talked for 5-10 minutes.

DUDE I SHOULD HAVE STARTED THIS SHIT TEN FUCKING YEARS AGO!

Then noticed some student chick on a bus stop

Approached her asking for an opinion (the genuine thing I care about). With her I was like she's not hot at all, but I'm practicing, so whatever. She had headphones on, so I was like I'm gonna practice pre-openers. I waved her to remove the headphones.

Asked her the thing I'm genuinely interested in. She told me. I prolonged it by asking her what it's like in her peer group and friends (students). Then I moved on.

NEXT WAS THE INSTA CLOSE

So once finishing with this bus chick which was only practice, I crossed the street, and in the periperhy I noticed a chick which stood out at the same bus stop (I was now across the street). I was like wow that's some interesting energy. She was doing some sort of sexual energy like trying to attract dick, can't explain it.

So I went to her. Same opener. She was half-naked with lip and nose piercings. Think goth-style onlyfans girl or some shit. She answered my stuff. I talked to her about it some more.

Then I went (I got this from ross jeffries)... actually let me tell you the truth, I actually approached you because you're just unique, your energy, aura, something different about you. Then we arranged to do some collab thing together. She added me on insta.

Her fucking insta looks like she's selling onlyfans (she's not, just very sexual chick).

At this point I think my confidence turned into bravado, rude rejection

I started walking back home, and passing another bus stop, I saw some chick standing there. I mean there were like 20 other people. Didn't care. I can't explain it, but for some reason I think I got "too confident" if that makes sense for anyone?

In any case, I saw this girl, and I was like "she looks like a bitch, she's gonna be mean", and then I went "why the fuck am I saying this it's gonna be come a self-fullfing prophecy". So I said hi. She ignores me. I start saying my excuse. She says "NOT INTERESTED". Which is funny, since i didn't even explain what it is

Funny thing is I confidently told her, well if you change your mind, you can go to this website and check it out (one of the things I'm promoting). It boosted my state instead of lowering it.

I think the reason I didn't take it personally, is because 1) I genuinelly am not hitting on girls 2) I don't want anything from them 3) the thing I'm offering/asking about is genuine, and a gay guy would do it. Like it's not just an excuse to talk to girls, I would genuinelly promote it even if I wasn't using it as an excuse to talk to girls. She however responded as if I was hitting on her, which I found funny, instead of insulting.

Second rejection, this time by a nice girl

Anyway, I continued and saw that a perfect girl was trailing me. She noticed me noticing me. I then went "wow, perfect girl, she looks both pretty and nice/sweet, this is the kind of girl who would respond nicely usually, but I bet she saw me get rejected by the bitch and it will influence her". Which she probably did seeing that she was only 10 feet behind me, she probably witnessed the rude rejection.

I noticed her slowing down so she doesn't pass lines with me. So I stopped pretending to write something on phone so we would end up on same line on next crosswalk. We did, and then I went and tried to say something, but she was like no no, and waving me off. I then noticed she had airpods in her ear.

Damn airpods. It was probably a combination of witnessing me get rudely rejected by the previous one, with not hearing what I'm saying. So proud of trying to open. Lifted my state.

At this point I was almost home. So I was like, hehe interesting how I had the best opens ever, but it also ended with two negative ones. Fuck it, doesn't matter. I don't think it will affect my future attempts/outtings.

AND THEN as a finale, opened the sweetest ten

I already finished my outting, and just went into the building store to pick up stuff for home. I then saw the fucking most perfect ten I'd seen in like 6 months. Now by my criteria boobs don't even factor into a girl being a ten or not. But this chick had implant-like boobs which she was very proud of served up. Again she'd be a ten even if it wasn't for the perfect boobs.

I look at the store owner and say hi (so chick notices I'm friendly with the owner), then as she finishes and goes to exist store, I ask her "so you ever ben xyz" (my genuine excuse that I gneuinelly am promoting, want to know about). She beams the biggest smile you ever seen. And she's like oh I never thought about xyz. I'm like you should try it, why not, you might like it. Then I tell her I can give her info, and she fucking pulls out her phone and stands there.

Just like the nine it seemed like she wanted to prolong the conversation, but I'm a little bitch who feels undserving of nines and tens and I eject. The bus-stop half-naked goth chick was like a 7 at best (8.5 body, but 7 overall).

Wait, I guess I gotta change that story. In any case, one thing at a time. Happy and proud of myself. But at the same time. WHY THE FUCK did I not discover this approach like 10 years ago. I would have lived a completely different life.

 

[bgwh]

Side note. I haven't seen anyone mention this. Do you also get the best responses from nines and tens? This has been true my entire life. No, I'm not saying I banged nines and tens. But they were always the nicest and sweetest.

 

[bgwh]

I've been doing stuff here and there, just haven't journalled because there wasn't anything notewortthy. I'm basically looking to do a bunch of different "approach confidence" programs, pretty psyched. There are 2 updates today:

1) It took literally 6 hours for a couple of sets. I'm hoping it's just because it happens to be a Saturday and that weekdays will be back to how it was. I literally could get like 20 hottie sets in 60 minutes when I started. I hope that this is just a Saturday things and not a "city has emptied for summer" thing. While I am committed to getting this stuff handled finally I'm not going to be walking 6 hours for a couple of sets.

2) Today I was doing an exercise from some confidence course I bought years àgo. It was pretty interesting, I actually felt my brain rewiring. It's the first outdoors exercise from Hypnotica's confidence course. Very, very interesting, literally felt my brain getting into a completely different way of viewing girls and approaching.

Man I'm hoping it's just a Saturday thing. I don't want to wait until September to get this started again. Will try on Monday, hope its just a Saturday thing. A part of me is even saying, "fuck it, i'll walk around for 10 hours if need be to get this shit done, i'm 40, been postponing too long", but there are actual practical concerns with that, like keeping my income, lol

 

[bgwh]

So I promised myself that I won't go out approaching today since I'm very behind on work. It gets addictive and I'll just end up walking around for 6 hours as my pile of unfinished work increases.

But I unfortunately had to pick up stuff I need for my strict diet. So I was like ok, gonna run down to the local deli, grab it, come back home. Place is packed since it's the only place to shop on a sunday. Would need to wait in queue for 20 minutes. I'm like fuck it, I'll go to the next deli, and on the way check out the situation on the near riverwalk, just so I can confirm my different location options. It was completely empty with zero people as expected.

I run back home to get back to work... unfortunately I see a six sitting. I'm like shit, I have to approach. Btw, I never approach below a 7.5 otherwise. Fortunately another six passes by coming from the other side. This one was a super-tattooed half-naked six. Kind of like a porn six, obviously flaunting her sexuality. I approached by passing her, something I would have made excuses for up until now. Opened her with an opinion opener, she gave me the answer, and that was that.

It's a pretty interesting place to be. I almost feel like I have a bootcamp coach next to me and physically pushing me into sets. Like I physically am like "oh shit, do I have to approach", as if I know a coach will push me into the set anyway.

Wish I had this 20 years ago. I would have probably banged more chicks than a pornstar by now

Also, something very weird is happening to my confidence. Like I literally feel different. I don't know if the exercise I did yesterday from Hypnotica is really that good, or it's a coincidence. But it's pretty sweet. I feel reprogrammed.

 

[bgwh]

Didn't journal anything because:

1) I've killed AA*
2) I've essentially been piled with work and deadlines

I did have to leave the house here and there, and approached here and there.

I have zero AA when it comes to "calibrated sets", or to borrow from another thread "pingable sets". Now I didn't ping each one, but if it's a pingable set, I open, 100% of the time and it always goes well and we always exchange Instagrams.

If this is all I have for the rest of my life (effortlessly opening easy sets), this is more than good enough.

Especially since I have no interest in doing "pickup". If I exchange Instagrams with a girl, the job is done. Its all I need since I'm only doing cold approach as a way to funnel leads into my social circle funnel. I have no interest in "pickup".

 

[mrman]

What do you mean by that

 

[bgwh]

What do you mean by that

Can you be more specific?

 

[mrman]

Social circle funnel.

 

[bgwh]

Social circle funnel.

Luke Krogh popularized it, Sartain is teaching a version of it. Basically you don't go and open girls and go straight into pickup mode, instead you invite them into your life. And them from then on pick up chicks from inside your own environment which is now rich with hotties. Kind of like picking cherries.

I think the best analogy is what he shares in the opening of his SCB product. He basically says that traditional pickup is like hunting or forraging. Adding chicks to a social circle funnel is like the invention of agriculture. Where you plant seeds and then harvest at the end.

Edit: Just had this pop up, watching this vid where Hoe math and Sartain discuss "Familiar environments". Basically conversion rates are much higher in a familiar environment.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

www.youtube.com

Social circle is where you funnel girls into a "familiar environment", and you pick up girls from there. Conversion rates are a lot higher when converting from an environment like this.

Though I read your journal mrman. You're still relatively young and good looking. I don't think I'd push this style on you. I generally know for a fact it's better for older guys. I can't claim it's better for a younger good looking guy. My main motivation to move to this style was my age. Though the guys pushing it will claim it's superior for any age or whatever.

Though to be fair, even Michael Sartain says "if you're really good looking, just go direct. This is for the rest of us". So not even he (the biggest proponent) says it's best for everyone.


So in general I'm not informed about younger good looking guys, but I would definitely recommend it to older guys.

 

[bgwh]

Ok this was pretty shocking. I went out to a party of some kind at a venue. My female friends invited me. I hadn't been to parties in years.

I was fucking flabbergasted. I saw one single 8 (not counting my friends), and everyone else was between 3,4 and 5. Atrocious ROI.

Daygame is amazing compared to this. Ironically the party girls were far less approachable. I made an situational comment to the girl right next to us at the neighbour table and she scoffed at me.

It felt surreal, a fucking 4 scoffed at me and rolled her eyes. Mind you I was at the table with my friends who are a 9 and an 8, so I was together with the hottest girls in the venue, I'd assumed I'd get some social proof, but a fucking 4 scoffed at me, and everyone was acting so arrogant.

And the whole time I was thinking I can easily meet 9s in stores. Daygame seems like such a higher ROI. It's amazing. I don't care if I have to talk to 30, it's still worth it and amazing compared to the alternative.

I honestly only see 9s In daygame. The quality is unmatched.

 

[Bob Z]

Edit: Just had this pop up, watching this vid where Hoe math and Sartain discuss "Familiar environments". Basically conversion rates are much higher in a familiar environment.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

www.youtube.com

Have seen some of "Ho Math's" posts on twitter. He seemed to be surprisingly analytical and nuanced in spite of me seeing him as red pill (and his marketing/branding being super red pill). Although he did have one overly pessimistic post about politics/western-civ that bummed me out - guy probably way to overly online to realize things are mostly ok in spite of some negative trends.

In terms of social circle. Not familiar with this style - but I was reading a guy I respects blog and he has an instagram method where he goes for "exclusivity." Where you cultivate a private instagram profile in a certain way that communicates high-value, but also exclusivity instead of going the clout method. He has course he's selling for 200 but honestly seems the type of thing you could figure out just by understanding the premise if you get instagram - I don't plan on buying tbh. https://www.rawmanifesto.com/p/ig-mystery-method

He definitely oversells it but seems a superior funnel to online dating. Could even be smart to funnel girls to the private instagram from cold approach - i think he mentioned that he does this too in passing - would likely increase close rates by a good margin if done well vs number. Personally though I prefer IRL and building those social skills for now but might incorporate something like this down the road.

 

[bgwh]

Have seen some of "Ho Math's" posts on twitter. He seemed to be surprisingly analytical and nuanced in spite of me seeing him as red pill (and his marketing/branding being super red pill). Although he did have one overly pessimistic post about politics/western-civ that bummed me out - guy probably way to overly online to realize things are mostly ok in spite of some negative trends.

In terms of social circle. Not familiar with this style - but I was reading a guy I respects blog and he has an instagram method where he goes for "exclusivity." Where you cultivate a private instagram profile in a certain way that communicates high-value, but also exclusivity instead of going the clout method. He has course he's selling for 200 but honestly seems the type of thing you could figure out just by understanding the premise if you get instagram - I don't plan on buying tbh. https://www.rawmanifesto.com/p/ig-mystery-method

He definitely oversells it but seems a superior funnel to online dating. Could even be smart to funnel girls to the private instagram from cold approach - i think he mentioned that he does this too in passing - would likely increase close rates by a good margin if done well vs number. Personally though I prefer IRL and building those social skills for now but might incorporate something like this down the road.

Oooh thank you so much for sharing that. I'm in the process of building out my IG, and was actually considering going the exclusivity route, but was wondering if anyone else did this, or am I being crazy. Coz the other social circle guys all have public DMs... I am thinking of going for exclusivity.

Edit: You're right, that's outrageous pricing, and he doesn't seem to share anything useful for free. But it's good to know I'm not the only one considering the private/exclusive/small profile route.

 

[Bob Z]

Oooh thank you so much for sharing that. I'm in the process of building out my IG, and was actually considering going the exclusivity route, but was wondering if anyone else did this, or am I being crazy. Coz the other social circle guys all have public DMs... I am thinking of going for exclusivity.

Edit: You're right, that's outrageous pricing, and he doesn't seem to share anything useful for free. But it's good to know I'm not the only one considering the private/exclusive/small profile route.

yeaaa imo exclusivity is 100% the way to go. everyone knows if you buy fake followers especially any girl under 30 and waste of time to build real clout. exclusivity probably preforms better than real clout anyway as long as you play it off well. btw if you do end up getting that course lmk if its any good.

 

[bgwh]

Could even be smart to funnel girls to the private instagram from cold approach - i think he mentioned that he does this too in passing - would likely increase close rates by a good margin if done well vs number. Personally though I prefer IRL and building those social skills for now but might incorporate something like this down the road.

I missed this part. That's actually what I do. Have a 100% conversion to instagram. If I approach a hottie, do a social offer, they all add me on instagram. But again, i'm not doing pickup, I am doing networking, so we're adding each other for networking reasons. But basically I do cold approach as a way to funnel leads in my exclusive circle system.

 

[bgwh]

I've been cramming work like crazy for some deadlines, but had to leave the house to handle some urgent stuff. Ended up approaching everything in sight. Great conversations, zero AA.

It almost feels "too good to be true". I mean for fucks sake I postponed mastering cold approach for 20 years, and when I finally started doing it, got rid of AA in like what, 3-4 outtings or something? Crazy.

Though to be fair, the main reason is I think that I discovered social circle game, and that the angle I'm going for is genuinely intertwined with my lifestyle and work. It's not a "trick to bang chicks", it's genuine. My approaches are part of a system I'm fully congruent with, and that is I believe why I have zero AA. I am genuinely approaching to give massive value, and build something with the right people. I'm not "trying to bang chicks", I'm exploring how we can enrich each others' lives. At that point AA doesn't make sense.

 

[bgwh]

I had to go grab some stuff from some store away, and coming back saw a dime from the car. Pulled up in the parking lot, to go and find her, but didn't. So I was like ok heck, missed approach, but another interesting chick started walking from the other side, so I was like I'll approach her, but I couldn't catch up to her. So I was like ok lemme open these chicks at the bus stop.

Looked at the first one, was like damn, she's not hot, then looked at the other, even uglier. They were in their 20s, but the attractiveness of a mid 40 year old. Looked around, nobody else to approach.

Went to first one, she asked me to repeat myself that she can't hear me. Repeated myself, she was like I can't hear you XD So funny and awkward. Then I was like nevermind, I'll ask someone else. Asked next girl on bus stop (the even uglier one), same situation.

I was like gotta find an actual hottie to approach, turned around the corner, saw an actual hottie, approached her. Had a really nice conversation. Asked her if she has contacts for me, she told me she has a friend who's a professional model, will contact me, and grabbed my instagram.

Lesson learned here (I don't know?):

I do best when I'm like "wow that girl is fire, I have to talk to her", and when it's a girl done "for practice" it's more likely to end up awkward. I don't know if the lesson here is only talk to girls that make you go WOW i must talk to her, or if the lesson is to keep going until I have strong verbals/body-language with girls I'm not into and just practicing with.

There's arguments to be made for both sides. I lean toward keep approaching girls you're not into because for me this isn't about picking up chicks. I am practicing my ability to network with people. I can't only network with hot girls. The problem is that when I approach the hottest girls, I automatically end up doing everything right, so I don't learn much.

 

[Curwen]

I do best when I'm like "wow that girl is fire, I have to talk to her", and when it's a girl done "for practice" it's more likely to end up awkward. I don't know if the lesson here is only talk to girls that make you go WOW i must talk to her, or if the lesson is to keep going until I have strong verbals/body-language with girls I'm not into and just practicing with.

You and me man. I have this exact same question in my mind when I’m out.

I suspect it has to go in periods. Tom Torero (may he rest in peace) would definitely tell you to approach everything that’s even a little bit attractive. I am not doing this currently, but I will probably go into that gear at some point. Before winter if the stars align. We can exchange notes after

 

[bgwh]

This isn't an fr, but an observation. I've watched some vids from guys who apparently get laid a lot, and I was surprised by something. They don't always hook, they get ignored quite a few times. But they all have in common that they open direct.

I compared that to my experiences, I always open, never get ignored. But I always open with an excuse/asking for help. And I naturally relate it to a social angle.

So I'm wondering now, am I missing something. Must I flirt from the opener. I found that a percentage show interest anyway. Why force them

 

[AspiringStoic]

This isn't an fr, but an observation. I've watched some vids from guys who apparently get laid a lot, and I was surprised by something. They don't always hook, they get ignored quite a few times. But they all have in common that they open direct.

I compared that to my experiences, I always open, never get ignored. But I always open with an excuse/asking for help. And I naturally relate it to a social angle.

So I'm wondering now, am I missing something. Must I flirt from the opener. I found that a percentage show interest anyway. Why force them

Well, I did not want to say anything because it seemed like you kept repeating that you had some very strong reasons to go indirect and you were very vehmently in favor of not doing "pickup" and doing something social circle related.

But from what I have done, and seen other people in real life do, if its daytime and especially street pickup or anywhere where the girls are moving or generally there is a short window to interact, direct is way better.

And 40 is not that old, I know guys above 45 doing direct stuff. It doesn't have to be crass direct, but starting with a compliment and telling her you wanted to talk to her makes it wayy easier than starting indirect especially with directions or any other sort of excuse.

And in my experience nothing beats direct in terms of growing your general confidence, self esteem and self love.

 

[bgwh]

Well, I did not want to say anything because it seemed like you kept repeating that you had some very strong reasons to go indirect and you were very vehmently in favor of not doing "pickup" and doing something social circle related.

But from what I have done, and seen other people in real life do, if its daytime and especially street pickup or anywhere where the girls are moving or generally there is a short window to interact, direct is way better.

And 40 is not that old, I know guys above 45 doing direct stuff. It doesn't have to be crass direct, but starting with a compliment and telling her you wanted to talk to her makes it wayy easier than starting indirect especially with directions or any other sort of excuse.

And in my experience nothing beats direct in terms of growing your general confidence, self esteem and self love.

Sure, i'm aware of the claims, but this is exactly what made me confused watching those vids. From what I watched of people opening with direct, they bomb quite a bit more often. I'm just not seeing this stated advantage.

The girls stop and talk to me. It naturally goes into more. I am considering eventually trying something like "you seem cool" or some sort of genuine thing, but in my case anything sexual or hitting on them is off the table, as I'm making friends and networking, not picking up girls.

Btw I did direct for over a decade.