Major Sticking Point

[Ex Procastinator]

Iv been trying to actively improve my game for a brief while after reading the content for a couple of years.

In my current state im dominant when i open and throughout the interactions im fairly weak but iv learned to push through the awkwardness anyways which has led to some better interactions.

But i am current BLOCK is that i am a BITCH when it comes to closing. Iv identified it and even my natural friend has. But i do not know how to break this block.

When i am out i can get people with people fairly easy but as my natural friend pointed out how come you never do it for yourself.


How can i break through this i feel like i will be able to start getting LR's once i break this barrier because iv been that close so many times then Bam i am like a Deer in headlights who doesn't make a move. Lets attraction expire, miss the opportunity and go from the one being chased to the chaser

 

[jdoc]

ExP, I've had this problem for a while too bro.

I hesitated way too much with physical escalation, pulling, chase frames, and everything in between. The way I overcame it (almost) was by telling myself: If you hesitate, it's game over, and you will never see this girl again. This mantra has helped me overcome my own fear and encourage myself to take more risks and hit those escalation windows. At first it might be scary, but with practice it becomes easier.

Think how scary it was the first time you asked a girl out. Do it 200 times and it's not so scary any more right? Hell, it even seems routine and easy. My suggestion would be to keep practising closing until it becomes routine, and realise that you've only got one shot.

Hope this helps!

- Jeff

 

[ray_zorse]

When you say closing do you mean sex? i.e. you've isolated her and you've escalated and you've failed to overcome LMR? or is it that you're not isolating? or what?
Ray

 

[Ex Procastinator]

ExP, I've had this problem for a while too bro.

I hesitated way too much with physical escalation, pulling, chase frames, and everything in between. The way I overcame it (almost) was by telling myself: If you hesitate, it's game over, and you will never see this girl again. This mantra has helped me overcome my own fear and encourage myself to take more risks and hit those escalation windows. At first it might be scary, but with practice it becomes easier.

Think how scary it was the first time you asked a girl out. Do it 200 times and it's not so scary any more right? Hell, it even seems routine and easy. My suggestion would be to keep practising closing until it becomes routine, and realise that you've only got one shot.

Hope this helps!

- Jeff

I'll try give it a go next time I'm out impulsing myself to act

When you say closing do you mean sex? i.e. you've isolated her and you've escalated and you've failed to overcome LMR? or is it that you're not isolating? or what?
Ray

I should of be more clear, I mean getting a girl from a club to my house.

Iv over come the first barrier I used to not isolate the girls so was typically a group senario with too many variables to handle but when iv been moving girls I haven't been able to escalate but I have received many escalation windows which iv failed to act upon "my sticking point".

An example this girl I got with then was talking up fucked it up over messaging she went cold then I think I redeemed myself when I was in a devil may care attitude and sent her some raunchy stuff. She called me in the middle the clubs to try meet up with me since she is outer social circle we where with a group initially then I moved her to the dance floor handled the token resistance by putting my hand behind me and walking away she grabbed on while on the dance floor she would grind up on me when I went to escalate pull away so then i moved is to some seats to try escalate there she wouldn't sit next to me , so I moved back to a more secluded dance area went for man handle my friend came in which his snap chat she kinda backed off then I went back to the group a mistake as she was giving so many escalation widows e.g. Who you with, I don't know how I'm getting home , not sure where I'm staying (I know what a knuckle head your probably thinking) it got to the point I didn't know what to do i went to ask my natural friend simply what do I do I know she interested but Im not getting anywhere and he just said to say "you can come home with me" ( I don't get why I can't think of simple words like this in situations) as soon as I said it her expression changed she stopped going I need to go home im tired all these signs and look at me intensely and like a deer stuck in head lights I just stared back instead of braking her hand and leaving.

Just while mentally reflecting while typing that I feel like my main issue is I don't throw out enough invitations and on the rare occasion i did I didn't lead like a man I just sat there waiting for a respond ( probably why I get lots of akward pauses when proposong stuff.

 

[ray_zorse]

Ahh hey then there is nothing to say really, you know exactly what your sticking points are and how you should have handled them. One procedure I find useful with sticking points is to set myself a goal before I go out. For example I was having trouble when daygaming about not asking girls for dates. So I set a goal: I will ask 3 girls for a date today. (I had read a newsletter article of Chase's about MAKING YOUR OWN OPPORTUNITY and it worked). Or, moving girls: I went out nightgaming having set myself the goal that every girl I meet, I will try to move her within 3 minutes. This also worked. So yours is to invite 3 girls home throughout the night. Don't worry if your timing is off or you feel the opportunity isn't quite there yet. Just do it anyway. Because likely your comfort zone is holding you back to an extent, and you won't know until you actually try it.
Ray

 

[Ex Procastinator]

Ahh hey then there is nothing to say really, you know exactly what your sticking points are and how you should have handled them. One procedure I find useful with sticking points is to set myself a goal before I go out. For example I was having trouble when daygaming about not asking girls for dates. So I set a goal: I will ask 3 girls for a date today. (I had read a newsletter article of Chase's about MAKING YOUR OWN OPPORTUNITY and it worked). Or, moving girls: I went out nightgaming having set myself the goal that every girl I meet, I will try to move her within 3 minutes. This also worked. So yours is to invite 3 girls home throughout the night. Don't worry if your timing is off or you feel the opportunity isn't quite there yet. Just do it anyway. Because likely your comfort zone is holding you back to an extent, and you won't know until you actually try it.
Ray

Thanks Ray

Iv broken through the barrier and got a LR from it as well.

What I found worked for me was I just channeled the thoughts of the previous opportunities I failed due to the sticking point and even when the time didn't feel right I pushed through cause I knew what would happen if I didn't.

Ill try implementing your method as well to complete abolish the sticking point