Making out with a girl, she texted me saying it was the alcohol. What can I do?

[timtobbler]

The other day I invited a few people I barely knew to dinner, including a cute girl. Afterwards, the girl and a guy came back to my place for drinks. I knew I had something going with the girl, and the guy caught my drift so he left. Fast forward half an hour and we're making out, talking, making out, talking, for hours. I didn't manage to sleep with her, but we said we'd meet up in a few days. I text her yesterday and she sends back this:

Hey hope you feel better bud. (Sidenote I had been sick)

So I'm sorry I gave you the wrong idea Wednesday, alcohol and glistering conversation made me do things I didn't mean. Blame's definitely on me for leading you on and not showing all my cards but I'm actually involved with someone. I'd like to be friends but I totally get it if not

Not that I'm particularly attached to this girl, but in general what does this mean and how would one get past this sort of thing?

 

[andersen09]

Re: Making out with a girl, she texted me saying it was the alcohol. What can I

The other day I invited a few people I barely knew to dinner, including a cute girl. Afterwards, the girl and a guy came back to my place for drinks. I knew I had something going with the girl, and the guy caught my drift so he left. Fast forward half an hour and we're making out, talking, making out, talking, for hours. I didn't manage to sleep with her, but we said we'd meet up in a few days. I text her yesterday and she sends back this:

Hey hope you feel better bud. (Sidenote I had been sick)

So I'm sorry I gave you the wrong idea Wednesday, alcohol and glistering conversation made me do things I didn't mean. Blame's definitely on me for leading you on and not showing all my cards but I'm actually involved with someone. I'd like to be friends but I totally get it if not

Not that I'm particularly attached to this girl, but in general what does this mean and how would one get past this sort of thing?

I'm not sure if you already texted back, but just don't make it a big deal.
Don't fight her frame as it looks needy, but don't totally dismiss it either.

Something along the lines of

"Oh hey, don't worry about it. Sometimes you just get swept up in the moment "

 

[foggy]

Re: Making out with a girl, she texted me saying it was the alcohol. What can I

ARE YOU A NICE GUY?

 

[Seppuku]

Re: Making out with a girl, she texted me saying it was the alcohol. What can I

Hey,

What happened is, you and her were both alone in your home and you didn't try to fuck her. In her mind, a "real man" would at least try to physically take her. It didn't happen, so she moved you from the category "real man", into category "just friends". The alcohol and "involved with someone" were just convenient excuses.

You cannot afford to take a girl home and not try to physically escalate her.

Seppuku
PS. And just making out doesn't count towards physical escalation.

 

[timtobbler]

Re: Making out with a girl, she texted me saying it was the alcohol. What can I

Hey,

What happened is, you and her were both alone in your home and you didn't try to fuck her. In her mind, a "real man" would at least try to physically take her. It didn't happen, so she moved you from the category "real man", into category "just friends". The alcohol and "involved with someone" were just convenient excuses.

You cannot afford to take a girl home and not try to physically escalate her.

Seppuku
PS. And just making out doesn't count towards physical escalation.

I definitely tried. I spent the whole night with my hands all over her. Over her clothes, under her shirt, a little under her pants, but every time I'd fiddle with her pants button or get too intimate she'd nudge my hand away. Not sure what to make of it because at the same time her hands were all over me, including briefly passing over my dick a few times.

 

[Seppuku]

Re: Making out with a girl, she texted me saying it was the alcohol. What can I

Okay,

that was not apparent since you mentioned making out and talking only. Maybe you can give more details about how you proceeded.

It sounds like another failed escalation story then. Long story short, she hopes to be taken but cannot make it easy for you, for her own self esteem sake "I'm not a slut". You will have to overcome her resistance. You can search for "failed escalation" in the main GC articles, lots have been written on it. Read also about Last Minute Resistance and how to overcome it.

Seppuku