- Joined
- Jul 17, 2013
- Messages
- 1,539
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2013
- Messages
- 1,539
What's particularly interesting here is that these guys specialize in day-game, emphasize its huge advantages of international portability outside of familiar social environments and the lesser need for status (and greater need for intellect), but also draw attention a serious hazard of day-game: It's awfully easy to fall into boyfriend/provider territory.
If you think about it, this makes sense. In a nightclub, you're up against a lot of male competition, the vibe can be way too energetic to be conducive to seduction, and you may have to do a lot of work upfront to figure out what girls in that particular environment are in the market for, and make yourself that man. But if there's one thing you don't need to worry about, it's being put in contention for the boyfriend role. No one goes to nightclubs to find a long-term partner.
These guys are both more or less the same age as I, and I think I can learn from the difficulty they've also had to go through... if you approach a girl in the street in broad daylight, with good fashion and grooming, and engage her in enthralling, challenging conversation, then unless your sexy-man fundamentals are through the roof, it can be awfully difficult to convince her that you're just wanting to get in her pants pronto, as opposed to so smitten you want her to be your girlfriend.
And to persuade her that she should want you for an immediate fling as opposed to putting you down in the relationship wait-list—that's even harder. After all, you've shown the initiative to engage her directly outside of a social context. That makes you rather special... not to be wasted on risky early sex, perhaps.
I still struggle with this every single time I go out. Promisingly, the guys state that it begins to fix itself (assuming intelligent, adaptive work) after about 500 approaches or so, at which point the sexual vibe may begin to appear.
If you think about it, this makes sense. In a nightclub, you're up against a lot of male competition, the vibe can be way too energetic to be conducive to seduction, and you may have to do a lot of work upfront to figure out what girls in that particular environment are in the market for, and make yourself that man. But if there's one thing you don't need to worry about, it's being put in contention for the boyfriend role. No one goes to nightclubs to find a long-term partner.
These guys are both more or less the same age as I, and I think I can learn from the difficulty they've also had to go through... if you approach a girl in the street in broad daylight, with good fashion and grooming, and engage her in enthralling, challenging conversation, then unless your sexy-man fundamentals are through the roof, it can be awfully difficult to convince her that you're just wanting to get in her pants pronto, as opposed to so smitten you want her to be your girlfriend.
And to persuade her that she should want you for an immediate fling as opposed to putting you down in the relationship wait-list—that's even harder. After all, you've shown the initiative to engage her directly outside of a social context. That makes you rather special... not to be wasted on risky early sex, perhaps.
I still struggle with this every single time I go out. Promisingly, the guys state that it begins to fix itself (assuming intelligent, adaptive work) after about 500 approaches or so, at which point the sexual vibe may begin to appear.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2012
- Messages
- 3,637
Marty,
False.
I met my current girlfriend in a nightclub, and we both later admitted to each other that we were both just looking to get "laid" that night. Also, it's very possible to just meet girlfriends by going to bars or nightclubs and meeting women. When women go to a bar or nightclub, they don't go in with the mindset of, "there isn't a single guy here that I will like as a boyfriend." It's too calculated and logical for them. Instead, they go with the emotional incentive of "I want to go have some fun tonight!" along with "...and maybe I'll meet a hot/sexy guy."
Assuming how the guy works his magic on her (and how she views him afterward) will determine where she places him on her "boyfriend or not" chart. Many girls meet their boyfriends this way, and it's not uncommon at all. Once you've had (amazing) sex with a girl, it's natural that she would want to come back for more instead of going out again and gambling her sexuality with another guy who won't be as sexy or will damage her reputation.
That's not to say you SHOULD go to bars or nightclubs to find girlfriends, but you certainly can go that route.
It's not JUST your fundamentals that determine this... fundamentals might determine attraction for you, but it's logistics and execution that can help you work toward getting girls to sleep with you. This mostly has to do with moving fast and thread-cutting conversation that isn't conducive to you sleeping with a girl out of the equation. The more "chatter" you have with a girl, the more you will slowly work your way toward the boyfriend zone. Also, you need to be willing to ignore texts that don't help you achieve your purpose.
I can see where the "chatter" portion might be hurting you, Marty. It might even be the way you are talking to these women that is making it difficult for you to succeed. One thing that I noticed that I do when I talk to women is that I never seem "amazed" by anything they say. Whenever I see your field reports, I always get this feeling that you are very impressed by your deep-diving with these women... and that "impressed" emotion is probably splattered all over your voice tone and facial expressions. Whenever I talk to girls (no matter how amazing their feats might be), I just simply nod and smile as if it's all "stuff that I've heard before." I'll make small comments that let them know I understand exactly what it feels like to be in that position, make them smile, and then crack a sexual joke or attempt to move things forward by physically asking her to move somewhere with me.
Remember, men who sleep with lots of women aren't impressed by anything they say -- at least externally anyway. Just imagine a girl trying to tell James Bond about something amazing she's done... and then try to imagine James Bond being "impressed" by that. Pretty hard to imagine, right? =)
Keep experimenting, Marty. Don't be afraid to try things that are completely against your nature. Sometimes you need to approach something from the exact opposite side instead of making minor tweaks and not changing much at all.
- Franco
False.
I met my current girlfriend in a nightclub, and we both later admitted to each other that we were both just looking to get "laid" that night. Also, it's very possible to just meet girlfriends by going to bars or nightclubs and meeting women. When women go to a bar or nightclub, they don't go in with the mindset of, "there isn't a single guy here that I will like as a boyfriend." It's too calculated and logical for them. Instead, they go with the emotional incentive of "I want to go have some fun tonight!" along with "...and maybe I'll meet a hot/sexy guy."
Assuming how the guy works his magic on her (and how she views him afterward) will determine where she places him on her "boyfriend or not" chart. Many girls meet their boyfriends this way, and it's not uncommon at all. Once you've had (amazing) sex with a girl, it's natural that she would want to come back for more instead of going out again and gambling her sexuality with another guy who won't be as sexy or will damage her reputation.
That's not to say you SHOULD go to bars or nightclubs to find girlfriends, but you certainly can go that route.
It's not JUST your fundamentals that determine this... fundamentals might determine attraction for you, but it's logistics and execution that can help you work toward getting girls to sleep with you. This mostly has to do with moving fast and thread-cutting conversation that isn't conducive to you sleeping with a girl out of the equation. The more "chatter" you have with a girl, the more you will slowly work your way toward the boyfriend zone. Also, you need to be willing to ignore texts that don't help you achieve your purpose.
I can see where the "chatter" portion might be hurting you, Marty. It might even be the way you are talking to these women that is making it difficult for you to succeed. One thing that I noticed that I do when I talk to women is that I never seem "amazed" by anything they say. Whenever I see your field reports, I always get this feeling that you are very impressed by your deep-diving with these women... and that "impressed" emotion is probably splattered all over your voice tone and facial expressions. Whenever I talk to girls (no matter how amazing their feats might be), I just simply nod and smile as if it's all "stuff that I've heard before." I'll make small comments that let them know I understand exactly what it feels like to be in that position, make them smile, and then crack a sexual joke or attempt to move things forward by physically asking her to move somewhere with me.
Remember, men who sleep with lots of women aren't impressed by anything they say -- at least externally anyway. Just imagine a girl trying to tell James Bond about something amazing she's done... and then try to imagine James Bond being "impressed" by that. Pretty hard to imagine, right? =)
Keep experimenting, Marty. Don't be afraid to try things that are completely against your nature. Sometimes you need to approach something from the exact opposite side instead of making minor tweaks and not changing much at all.
- Franco
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2013
- Messages
- 292
Franco laying down some interesting wisdom as always. I think chatter screws me up a bit too.
Yeah, Marty, I read/watch Krauser and Tom's stuff as well. Pretty helpful.
Lol - I think that's just because a lack of results eventually turns you into what Chris from GLL calls "Mr. Pussy Inspector" instead of "Mr. Funny Guy."
Sometimes, I get the strong urge to text a girl STRAIGHT UP "I don't want to date you." Just to see if that would get these finicky, flaky, noncommittal 20 year olds to come out. Lol, actually Marty why don't you try that for giggles. I will if you will
Yeah, Marty, I read/watch Krauser and Tom's stuff as well. Pretty helpful.
Lol - I think that's just because a lack of results eventually turns you into what Chris from GLL calls "Mr. Pussy Inspector" instead of "Mr. Funny Guy."
Sometimes, I get the strong urge to text a girl STRAIGHT UP "I don't want to date you." Just to see if that would get these finicky, flaky, noncommittal 20 year olds to come out. Lol, actually Marty why don't you try that for giggles. I will if you will