I have been trying to do more cold approach this summer, in the past just doing social circle.
I had several approaches end in long talks about interesting stuff with investment on the girl's part towards me.
But this day at the mall I was striking out although getting indicators of interest, I'm a complete newbie at this, so I have no idea why (my fundamentals are getting tight, and I'm honestly naturally good-looking which is the reason I had success at my old school, no bs, I posted a photo in my journal I think).
So I begun the day at the mall with family, we were passing through a town visiting relatives and they needed to get shopping done. I had a few hours to myself.
Girl one
I was walking across the mall, just trying to find H&M and had seen this bleach blonde walking around. She was reasonably cute and I needed practice, so I casually walked in her general direction and then stopped as if I had just seen her.
Hey, what's your name? (said with slow smirk) (coming on too strong? smirk has become my default, even when a warm smile might be more appropriate)
She then starts to back away and is all like "why? why do you want to know? glares, looks around"
I say "hey hey relax I wanted to ask you if you were from around here (my default when I'm traveling) I wanted to know if this mall has an H&M?" (cute and sexy-ish facial expression, tried to tone down aggressiveness)
She says "Well I'm not from around here." rolls eyes.
I say "Oh ok thanks" Smile like I'm somewhat embarrassed, which I am, but I was trying to convey that I knew that stopping random girls was somewhat a breach of social norms.
She smiles back for the first time!, but then says "well I've gotta go..."
I nod and smirk again, and turn and walk off.
Girl two/kinda
Random ass store clerk (a girl, in twenties, cute enough) is hovering near me in Barnes and Noble. After the second time she asks if she can help me with anything, I smirk and say "yeah, have you read Harper Lee's new novel?"
She says, "No I've been meaning too, have you? is it good?"
I say "No but I've heard it's a strange take on the original novel."
She smiles and moves closer.
I smile back but have no idea what to say now, was kinda shaken from Girl 1. (I should've deep dove with "oh what do you like to read etc?") and I move off.
Random guy
I see an athletic, cool but kinda nerdy looking guy in the fiction section. To get my mojo back, somewhat, I start chatting him up about books. We talk about Ender's game and other sci-fi. He follows my lead as we browse for a bit. Good convo, I cut it off again when I see cute redhead at records table.
Girl three
I go up the the records and start looking. I see her look at me, not sure out of interest or just noticing me for the first time. We are standing side by side, both facing table. I return eye contact out of corner of my eyes, paired with smirk. She looks startled.
"I've noticed it's hard to find modern albums on vinyl..."(and it had been, my family had been looking at dingy record exchanges filled with 80s rock, and they didn't have vinyl in my country, what did I know??).
She sharply says "Not really." I notice that amongst the Guns and Roses and Led Zeppelins, there are a few Ed Sheerans and Coldplays. Whoops.
"Haha hey, what do you know. Guess I've been looking in the wrong place..., so what kind of music do you like?"
"Oh, all sorts (she moves closer, we are almost touching) country (blegh) alternative, classical..."
"Hmm lots of varieties...What would you say is your favourite though..." Something shifts, she moves away
"Oh I don't know...I like all"
I notice a new Imagine Dragons EP "Hey do you like Imagine Dragons? I didn't know they had new music. I loved some of the old songs on their album..."
"No I hate Imagine Dragons."
"Ah I see...my sister just got a new record player, have any recommendations?" I attempt to move closer again, and adopt the flirty tone of before.
She looks nervous and cold. I have no idea what's wrong. Same as other one.
I make some excuse and leave.
What's going wrong? I did stuff like this in social circle back at high-school, would get girls in my laps, would be moving them all over the place, would have them try to fall and accidentally kiss me (only happened once, weird story, but still...), literally fight over my attention to the point of ignoring my current GF/FWB and not inviting her to shit whilst trying to ensure I come...so what is going on? Really nervous that these American girls are different, but maybe it's cold approach. Or, I come across as really formal sometimes, I can't speak in the bro-language like my guy friends would in my school, and so it may be a bit stilted (this seems more pronounced, the stiltedness, when I don't know them), so it could be that. Or I could be psyching myself out over cold approach. Or I'm a creep, but as I said, I have pretty good fundamentals. Haha help
in a time of dire need and supreme distress and however else I can blow this out of proportion
-youngbyron
