Manipulative girl interrupted conversation

[Virgin101]

Bumped into a friend who I hadn't spoken to him in years, and just as I was talking to him this girl came over and interrupted our conversation with a big loud "heeeey", and left me standing idle. She guided him away in the direction she was walking. I'm pretty sure it's only have been a few moments prior that she'd have already been talking to him. This same girl bullied my sister years ago and is known for being very manipulative.

Now, of course there's the chance that it was just a coincidence, but part of me thinks that she's just a power seeker who doesn't like to see others happy. I presume there's nothing you can really do in these situations? I'm not saying she was consciously aware of it, but the idea is that the longer I'm willing to wait, the more the power is shifted to her.

This guy was actually sort of one of the cool ones. But he definitely would appeared more cool to her if he wasn't willing to let his conversation be interrupted. Come to think of it, do women get away with butting into others' conversations easier than men?

 

[Inbocca]

Women get away with almost everything easier than men. One of the perks of being perky. There are downsides, too, don't worry.

Most girls aren't going to interrupt everyone's conversation to get what they want, but some are. If she's as manipulative as you say, sounds like something that's in line with what she'd do. At one of the places I worked at a few years ago, there was this manager who was a really kind guy but definitely embodied a lot of nice guy traits. He started dating this girl who worked there and was basically the same person you described (she wasn't even that hot tbh). When she would talk about him, it was rarely in a way of admiration. I was almost positive she was sleeping with him to get ahead. Sure enough, she got promoted to manager at a location out of state and dumped him, left him heartbroken. When that fell through (didn't last more than a month, she had no leadership skills), she came back and had nowhere else to stay, so she started groveling and asked him to take her back, and the poor sap did it. Moral of the story is, if you think she's a manipulative person, she probably is, and you're better off for recognizing it.

 

[Virgin101]

Women get away with almost everything easier than men. One of the perks of being perky. There are downsides, too, don't worry.

Most girls aren't going to interrupt everyone's conversation to get what they want, but some are. If she's as manipulative as you say, sounds like something that's in line with what she'd do. At one of the places I worked at a few years ago, there was this manager who was a really kind guy but definitely embodied a lot of nice guy traits. He started dating this girl who worked there and was basically the same person you described (she wasn't even that hot tbh). When she would talk about him, it was rarely in a way of admiration. I was almost positive she was sleeping with him to get ahead. Sure enough, she got promoted to manager at a location out of state and dumped him, left him heartbroken. When that fell through (didn't last more than a month, she had no leadership skills), she came back and had nowhere else to stay, so she started groveling and asked him to take her back, and the poor sap did it. Moral of the story is, if you think she's a manipulative person, she probably is, and you're better off for recognizing it.

Thanks Inbocca,

Seems like he at least got something outa it though! If he was any more of a man, she could've easily been tossed aside by him after getting goes of her. If I was sure I'd get sex, I'd have no problem letting such a girl think she's manipulating me.

But getting back to my story, I don't think there' much you can do in that exact situation. However I've come across similar girls before - and they say (let's say in class when they need help) in a gentle soft voice "Virgin, I'm stuck with this part - how did you do it?". What's interesting is that they expect you to go over to them instead of them going to you. I always say, without even looking at em, "bring it over to me" Makes them seem like their a burden!

 

[Inbocca]

Thanks Inbocca,

Seems like he at least got something outa it though! If he was any more of a man, she could've easily been tossed aside by him after getting goes of her. If I was sure I'd get sex, I'd have no problem letting such a girl think she's manipulating me.

But getting back to my story, I don't think there' much you can do in that exact situation. However I've come across similar girls before - and they say (let's say in class when they need help) in a gentle soft voice "Virgin, I'm stuck with this part - how did you do it?". What's interesting is that they expect you to go over to them instead of them going to you. I always say, without even looking at em, "bring it over to me" Makes them seem like their a burden!

Heheh, yeah, there's no shame in outmanipulating a manipulator when you can see through their bs.

Way to get that investment! Maybe they can make it up to you later for being such a burden

 

[RAFox]

Just call her out on her bullshit. Right when she breaks into your circle and tries to move him, calmly, but firmly say:
"Hey, we were in the middle of a conversation, and I don't appreciate you chiming in and cutting us off like that."
And when she goes somewhere along the lines of "I just wanted show him something, chill out", tell her:
"You can do that after we've finished talking. What you're doing, interrupting a conversation and cutting people off is just rude."

By not doing anything and letting her do what she wants, you portray yourself as weak, as someone who just lets everyone have his way with him. In scenarios like these, you can't be passive.
Instead, be a man, and make it clear that you won't tolerate that sort of behavior.

The two of you were talking, she interrupted, you have to put her in her place.

 

[Lotus]

Guys,

Putting a girl in her place every time she interrupts you in social setting isn't going to be very productive. Viewing girls as manipulators isn't going to help either. In reality she just had way more social savvy then Virgin did... no offense. If he was really that interested in the conversation he wouldn't have upped and left at the first sign of a girl.

Virgin just opened a thread saying "She's a bitch!" and everyone jumped in "Kill the bitch!"

Or a another classic example "My girlfriend cheated on me, she is a whore!"

"Yeah! She's a whore! Fuck the whore!"

When in in reality she cheated on you because you stopped bringing enough value to the table. This is classic victim mentality.

If she is trying to break your circle all you have to do is ignore her and she will get the hint, but that only works if your counterpart chooses not to break circle. Your friend broke circle not the girl. It's never the 3rd party's fault. The 2nd party is at fault, the one who chose to break the circle.

In this situation there's nothing you can do but learn to provide more value going forward.

Lotus

 

[Bboy100]

Just call her out on her bullshit. Right when she breaks into your circle and tries to move him, calmly, but firmly say:
"Hey, we were in the middle of a conversation, and I don't appreciate you chiming in and cutting us off like that."
And when she goes somewhere along the lines of "I just wanted show him something, chill out", tell her:
"You can do that after we've finished talking. What you're doing, interrupting a conversation and cutting people off is just rude."

I generally approve of calling people out on their shit and asserting boundaries. But context matters. What she did doesn't seem like a very big deal (even if it actually is!), so making a scene out of it would only come off as aggressive and insecure. Don't get me wrong...this can work. But only if everyone there is not very intelligent or socially experienced. Usually in high school and with younger girls in college. More socially experienced people will not respond well to this.

Virgin,

The fact of the matter is that whoever you were talking to was more interested in having a conversation with her than with you at that particular point in time. If he wasn't, he would have figured out a way to stay with you instead of running off with her. It's that simple. There really wasn't much you can do in this situation. Also, you're over thinking this. Seriously don't worry about it and move on with your life

 

[Virgin101]

Seriously don't worry about it and move on with your life

Oh I post about trivial things all the time. It never upset me - I just wanted to confirm for myself that there's nothing you can really do in a situation as such.

It's just usually, on hindsight, there's nearly always something you could've done... something you could've done and yet show that you don't feel too strongly about it. I guess this is one of the few situations that you can't, no matter how cool one is.