Mark Manson's Date Template

[Bboy100]

Hey everyone. So, normally if I see conflicting dating advice, which I haven't had a chance to extensively test out, I'll just assume GC's stuff is correct. However, I just finished reading Mark Manson's book Models That Attract Women Through Honesty, and it seems the guy knows what he's doing. I say this because A. the stuff he teaches is similar to GC in that it's very natural (i.e. no tricks, gimmicks routines etc.) B. 90% of it is in agreement with what GC teaches. C. I've field tested some of the stuff he teaches, and it seems to hold up.

Most the disagreements he has with GC material seems to be minor/preference based (ex. he advocates that we should pay for dates, GC advocates that we shouldn't. He advocates taking a girl's shirt off first, GC advocates that we go for the pants first. In the end though these things probably make little if any difference).

However, there's one thing in particular which seems pretty critical.

GC advocates short dates which aren't really that "fun" other than the conversation built into them. (ex. Coffee+Pull). Whereas Manson recommends longer dates with multiple activities built into them. Here's a passage from his book to describe his process:

The ideal amount of places/activities per date is three.This may sound weird to you, but this is key. Most men do dinner,drinks and then sit at the table for another hour chatting away. On our dates, we are DOING things… lots of things. We’re going bowling, having drinks, dancing, checking out statues in the park and carriage riding… all in three hours.


There’s something strange in human psychology. Our level of intimacy with one another doesn’t come from how much we talk about, as much as it comes from the experiences we share. These dates are designed to create as much mutual experience as possible in the least amount of time as possible. Here are some examples of solid dates:

Meet for coffee -> get ice cream down the street -> check out the big
swing in the park -> shopping at quirky book store
Salsa class -> Drinks next door afterwards -> walk around
neighborhood -> Your apartment
Interactive Improv comedy show -> Walk through the local park ->
Dancing at a lounge near her place

Include dancing if at all possible, as it’s the most sexual date activity you can have. Also, if you two decide to drink, try to drink as the second or last venues/activities. You don't ever want to end up hammered on a date

Tbh, Manson's method seems to have been more effective for me in the past. Spending longer than an hour together works favorably for me, as long as I don't miss an EW. And regardless of time spent, doing more than one thing definitely seems to help. Having said that, I haven't tested this with enough girls to conclusively say his 3 hour date method is better. I'd love to hear from those of you who have tried both Chase's date template and dates similar to the one Manson describes. Which has worked better for you in the past?

 

[mindful]

I've read the book too (multiple times), and that was one of the major things I questioned as well. Since I came across the book way after already being a regular reader here and starting to move fast with women. However, I thought the book combined with what is taught here provides a great foundation since there is a lot of overlap. Also, it really helped to make things "stick" and bridge the knowledge. Highly recommend girl chase readers to pick the book up.

I've never tried this method. I like to keep things simple as possible, especially if it's a date during the week. I have a full time job and just meeting for drinks in the early evening with a pull attempt is enough for me. Generally my dates don't go past an hour and its at that point where I try a pull.

Plus it also depends on where you live and what is available. Where I live there are bars and an ice cream shop and also a park all within walking distance. So doing multiple things I could work as long as the transition isn't long (how long it takes to get from thing A to thing B). I still wouldn't do it though. If a girl isn't 21, then I'd suggest ice cream and walking in the park. Otherwise its just straight grab a drink and go for the pull.

 

[Anonymous]

What Manson advocates for dates is nothing new under the sun. What his date template does is take advantage of how our perception of time becomes distorted based on our experiences.

You can create the feeling that you've been with a person for a longer time than you really have by cramming as many new experiences within a certain time period. Of course, there are pros and cons to doing this. If you're not aware of the escalation windows, then you'll be shooting yourself in the foot by doing things like walking through the park, grabbing ice cream, and going bowling, when she was "down" for it before you grabbed ice cream... for example.

I've used this template a lot. It's sort of my default. It's nice if you have a lot of time available on a certain day, and you really want to solidify a connection with this girl, as it can create the sense of intimacy and comfort within a shorter time frame. Downside is, you can easily get caught up in just "doing stuff" instead of escalating if you're not paying attention and reading her and her "temperature".

 

[ray_zorse]

To be honest I think this book is crap. I was excited about it at the time I read it... "great! just be yourself and have lots of sex!"... who wouldn't be excited. It also clicked with the advice I was receiving through some Skype coaching from Sasha Daygame staff, and I tried the ideas thoroughly, well they don't work. You absolutely need to be more of a challenge, let the girl think "does he like me? does he not? can I get this guy?" and reward the signs of chasing. Be engaging at first but then retreat. Don't volunteer information about yourself, and deflect questions with humour, fun role playing etc. All totally contrary to the advice in this book which is to be open and honest about yourself and rapidly screen for interest. This basically eliminates women who are on the fence about you (including almost all hot women) and who could be turned around by playing your hand a bit more skilfully. I would throw it away and go reread Chase "HtMGC" -- How to Make Girls Chase. As to the date template being discussed here, well it happens to be my default dating style, just cos I enjoy doing activities w girls and I don't mind investing more upfront than I possibly should, and I rather like dating just for the process/journey as well as the lay... but I have recently realized that to move from intermediate to advanced seduction you NEED to move much faster than this, once you are able to build girls' emotions up and down it becomes a tightrope act where timing becomes everything (and I failed to fuck quite a few cute JP-girls the last fortnight due to underconfidence in this ability and missed escalation windows as a result). So again, ignore the advice in this book, it may be okay for beginner but even then, you should not be implementing bad habits at an early stage.
Ray

 

[Chase]

Bboy-

Yeah, these are fun. This is what I termed a 'structured date' in the date templates article:

Date Templates: Minimize Confusion Maximize Returns

It's about mid-way down.

My opinion on when to use these dates, from the article:

The “Structured Date” is the one that’s the most work – it’s the one where I know a girl is more interested in me, and we can do more things together, but perhaps not interested enough to come to my apartment and get intimate right away. So I’ll put some time in and plan out a Structured Date – so named because it’s structured to follow an arc.

If I know a girl is pretty into me, I won't run a structured date, because why waste time (or beat around the bush).

If she's somewhat interested in me, but I don't think she's likely to just go to bed with me after a little chat and a drink, I'll probably put a structured date together... IF I have time and like the girl enough. If I don't, I'll spin the roulette wheel and see what happens with us just meeting up for something quick and easy and then me trying to pull after.

But yeah, assuming you have the time and don't mind spending it on the girl, a structured date will do better for you with a girl who's somewhat attracted to you but not crazy about you yet than a simpler date setup. It also shifts some of the responsibility of providing an experience off of you and onto the structure, which is helpful when you're still learning.

Finally, it too gives you the helping hand of acclimating her to transitions - one place, then the next place, then the next place, then oops! Back at your place, how'd that happen... each transition is a smaller deal since you're making lots of them, and it'll be easier for you if you're nervous about asking her back as well, because you're stringing together multiple smaller asks instead of one larger one. You needn't be as calibrated, whereas if you're just heading to a café with her and then chatting for an hour or two, you've really got to be sensitive to the signals and windows she's giving you and leverage these in your pull.

The only real downside to structured is the amount of time it takes and the amount of planning it does. Some real nice upsides though.

Chase

 

[Grand Pooba]

So, normally if I see conflicting dating advice, which I haven't had a chance to extensively test out, I'll just assume GC's stuff is correct. However, I just finished reading Mark Manson's book Models That Attract Women Through Honesty, and it seems the guy knows what he's doing. I say this because A. the stuff he teaches is similar to GC in that it's very natural (i.e. no tricks, gimmicks routines etc.) B. 90% of it is in agreement with what GC teaches. C. I've field tested some of the stuff he teaches, and it seems to hold up.

To be honest I think this book is crap. I was excited about it at the time I read it... "great! just be yourself and have lots of sex!"... who wouldn't be excited. It also clicked with the advice I was receiving through some Skype coaching from Sasha Daygame staff, and I tried the ideas thoroughly, well they don't work.

I've read this book a few years back, found it useful at the time. However, knowing more about this now, I don't find it as informative as a book such as "The Manual" by W. Anton, which was quite awesome and is more closely aligned with GC.