Meeting straight at yours on first date...

[killerman]

One thing I'm thinking about doing is scrapping the first date drinks idea and instead meeting at my place instead? Have any of you guys tried this? Because one thing I've noticed is my approach/number ratio is pretty high, like 1 or 2 numbers for every 6 girls I approach (many of which turn into first dates) but the percentage of girls i go out on first dates with and end up fucking within 3 dates is much lower. I'm thinking that maybe when I approach them I come across as the lover but then when i ask them out they stick me in boyfriend category. So the question is do you guys think i'd do better if I just invited them straight to my place? Also have any of you guys tried this?

 

[Franco]

killerman,

In all honesty, there's really only two options here:

• (1) Get her home on the same day you meet her. With this idea, you basically go from meet to sex without any time in between. You lead her from the moment you meet her (possibly to an "instant date") and take her back to your place.
  
  (2) Meet her for drinks on a first date.

Attempting to meet her on one day, grabbing her number, and then inviting her directly over to your place on another day is probably going to have a very low hit ratio. You'll be asking a lot of her mentally to agree to meet at your place over text (and even over the phone, if you decide to call her), and I'd say that a large majority of the time, the answer will basically be a "no" (or, more likely if she at least likes you, she'll suggest going out to meet at some place instead).

The only true exception to this rule might be a girl you've met through social circle. There's already a large degree of trust there, so she might be willing to forego the date aspect if she sees it as the two of you "hanging out" with some sexual incentive. But other than this, I don't think cold approaching new women plays well with the idea of inviting them directly over to your place over text without having a first date.

Feel free to experiment, but I'm highly confident that you'll come to the same conclusion that I (and probably some others here) have. =)

- Franco

 

[Seppuku]

Yeah I agree, getting the first date ever straight at home is not ideal BUT I've been able to pull it a couple of times in one special case - if the girl is somehow afraid to come alone on a first date with a stranger and wants to bring over a (female) friend with her. They are two now, and you're alone, so you can push for bolder first dates. In this case, I propose the two girls to come over for dinner at my home. I involve them in the cooking (setting myself as the boss), have music, wine, dance with the two girls, have them giving me "little kisses" on the cheek (the cute thing), have mega selfie sessions, make sure every one is enjoying the time and comfortable, and ramp up a lot of touch. Doing this, I achieve several things:

• (*) Framing myself as the boss
  (*) Getting preselection from the friend
  (*) Building comfort and ramping up attraction
  (*) Making her comfortable and familiar with my place.

It is now in a much better position to set the second date, alone, at home.

To be used only for those who don't want to date alone. Otherwise, drinks in a bar close to your home is better. Often, between one and two hours of face time is enough before pulling.

Seppuku

 

[ProblemSolving]

One thing I'm thinking about doing is scrapping the first date drinks idea and instead meeting at my place instead? Have any of you guys tried this?

I've laid plenty of girls from online this way and the odd one from cold approach. It's very doable. However, you need to understand you will be meeting fewer chicks, but the few that you do meet will most likely be DTF. It's very efficient. If you get a string of girls that refuse to come over right away, you will most likely start to second guess if it's even possible, but if you put the numbers in, you will have success.

Also, don't propose the meet up over text. Get her on the phone and feel out how comfortable she is. I've called girls on the phone with the intent to meet up at a frozen yogurt place, then got the sense that they really liked me already, so I just invited them straight over to my place. Furthermore, if after talking for a bit, you propose that she come over for dinner and she gets kind of awkward or uncomfortable, just switch it to something with less investment: "Or how bout this. Let's grab drinks at whatever place. Do you know where that is?" This way you get the girls that are already DTF, while still getting dates with the more cautious girls. If efficiency is your priority though, you might just want to screen the cautious girls out haha.

 

[Franco]

Caveat: As ProblemSolving mentioned, this actually can be done through online dating also. I've done it once or twice myself. Generally most girls will require a decent amount of back and forth messaging before this happens, but if you're seeing that she's giving you opportunities to invite her over, then make sure to jump on it!

- Franco