Mending reputation at a location

[Dragonetti]

There's a venue I like that has girls who are my exact type. I've pulled from there pretty easily, and it's a fun time.

The issue is, one time I misread things and boldly went in for a kiss in front of everyone (big mistake) with a girl I was vibing with, or I thought I was vibing with. She rebuffed me and someone sorta intervened and pulled her away. That person turned out to be a regular with social clout who told people I "assaulted" the girl, and when I went to the venue next a couple months later, some girls confronted me saying that I am unsafe for women to be around or w/e.

The thing is I have texts receipts from the girls I was trying to kiss, lightheartedly planning dates and chatting etc. she even admitted that what I did was a minor mistake over text, which I apologized for, and she was with it.

Nonetheless it's anxiety-inducing to be at this venue because of this clique. I'm worried about reputation damage. I went there again recently with a buddy to get over my anxiety. One or two of the clique people was there and there was no confrontation, but I was still very anxious about being accused further. I felt good about immersing myself, talking to people and building up my reputation again.

So my question is, what's the optimal strategy here to get in socially at this bar again and leave the false accusations behind me?

 

[Michael Chief]

The answer is women.

Best case scenario is you being surrounded by a group of women that you brought to that venue every time you go there, ideally including the girl who rebuffed you. Classic Adam Lyons entourage game. People see you having a good time with them, them laughing at your jokes, etc. etc. and they won't be able to think of you as a creep or anything of the sort.

Additionally, become close friends with that same girl who rebuffed you and get her to defend you by having a talk with those clique people together.

This is one of many reasons I am so utterly dumbfounded by some guys in the community who say stupid shit like "I'm not interested in being friends with women."

 

[DarkKnight]

This is one of many reasons I am so utterly dumbfounded by some guys in the community who say stupid shit like "I'm not interested in being friends with women."

I don't get this either. First off I really like women they are more fun to talk with instead of stiff guys who like to talk about football or something. Also when you are a guy who does well with women girls who "friendzone" youand see you are flirting and being well received by other women suddenly start to become more affectionate and jealous and more touchy feelly. In a way it is a tactic.

I have converted friends to girlfriends and some really hot ones at that, but these days I usually do not escalate on them and kind of ward their attempts off because I do not want to ruin the friendship. I actually understand where women are coming from when they are saying this

 

[Police dog]

This is one of many reasons I am so utterly dumbfounded by some guys in the community who say stupid shit like "I'm not interested in being friends with women."

100% this.

 

[Dragonetti]

Additionally, become close friends with that same girl who rebuffed you and get her to defend you by having a talk with those clique people together.

She unfortunately moved away, so that's not an option.

 

[Will_V]

The answer is women.

Best case scenario is you being surrounded by a group of women that you brought to that venue every time you go there, ideally including the girl who rebuffed you. Classic Adam Lyons entourage game. People see you having a good time with them, them laughing at your jokes, etc. etc. and they won't be able to think of you as a creep or anything of the sort.

Additionally, become close friends with that same girl who rebuffed you and get her to defend you by having a talk with those clique people together.

This is one of many reasons I am so utterly dumbfounded by some guys in the community who say stupid shit like "I'm not interested in being friends with women."

Completely agree with this remedy.

I don't click too well with women at the friendship level, I prefer friendships to have an element of competition, and my conversations get way too analytical for them as well - although girlfriends will often tell me how they enjoy listening to me talk about things, I'm not sure it's entirely about the content.

But in a situation like this @Dragonetti you definitely need to be able to gather a group around you that includes women, and preferably the one you had an incident with, because that's the only way to prove to suspicious people that you're chill.