Messed Up, How to/Can I Recover?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys,

So basically I've been hanging out with this girl who is very open sexually - she just sees sex as something fun two people can enjoy together. Seems pretty easy, no? Well I guess the fact that she is so comfortable with her sexuality intimidated me somewhat. Long story short, she subtly brought up sex with me a few times, but we had been smoking weed (which makes me paranoid/stressed out sometimes) and I clammed up and didn't really know how to move things forward. Now I'm finding it hard to set up times to hang out with her (which I'm sure is because I failed to escalate, and she probably thinks I want to date her or something). More specifically, she kind of blows me off when I try to set up meetings. So I'm not sure if I can recover from this, but I'd like to try, both as an experiment and because I'd really like to bed her haha. I'm confident that I can escalate given another opportunity, because I realized that I have been hanging out with more reserved girls lately and they have rubbed off on me somewhat. Basically, I just need to somehow hang out with her again. My current plan is to just not talk to her for a week (don't chase lol) or so and see what happens. What's strange to me is that she'll often message me first asking what's up or whatever, but then she won't be down to meet up. Any advice is greatly appreciated!

 

[D_Smooth1900]

Sounds to me like it's too late, she's obviously friend zoning you and she's trying to keep you around by messaging you here and there. If I were you I'll forget it let her chase you let her see how much better you can do without her.

I kinda came to terms that the ones we want don't always want us but the ones we don't want are the ones that are crazy about us. Just keep it pushing bro leave her be and go clubbing for a night. A night of clubbing always cures a week of pain.

 

[Lotus]

When she texts you next don't respond... be available on your own terms

but it looks like you missed a pretty obvious escalation window and now she is punishing you for it and you have entered the friend zone.

I've been hanging out with this girl who is very open sexually

this line makes it seem like you missed the window a bit ago and your friend zone status is solidified, so IF you can get out it will take longer then a week. Like D said you need to treat it like a lost cause.

she'll often message me first asking what's up or whatever

another friend zone sign, but more importantly.... you are texting too much. Texting should be used as a method to get her face to face. There is tons of material on the site on "do's and don'ts of texting" , less is more.

-brum