Messed up with message, what to do?

[Lithuanian]

Hey guys,

It was my first time when I made a direct approach to a girl. I was sitting in McDonald's and eating and a girl came and sat down at nearby table. After a few minutes I walked to her and asked her whether she was alone (she was with a girl friend as it turned out) and if I can sit down. Then I told her that I found her cute, therefore wanted to say hi. I talked to her about 15 minutes, but just after a few minutes she asked me what I was doing that evening (I was actually going to ohter date) and I said that I was busy, and she suddenly became embarassed and started to say that she didn't want to ask me to a date (yeah, right) and I said that it's ok, and we can meet next week (it was saturday). I grabbed her number and left (I said I was busy).

Then I wrote her next week and asked her to a date. She agreed very easily and accpted all terms I suggested (time, place, she just picked week day). But on the day we should've met she wrote that she can't come that day and offered to meet on sunday. I got irritated a bit and wrote that maybe, but I'm not sure if I won't be busy. She didn't write anything and me either.

I think I messed up with that message, but the situation can be corrected. So what would be your suggestions? What should I do?

 

[Bboy100]

Tbh, I'm not sure what you can do in this situation. Maybe other forum members can help you. But for future reference, if you actually can't see her when she suggests a day, say/text her in a very warm way that it won't work for you because x but you could probably see her at y. Ex. I can't see you Sunday- I'm going to the game with my friends. But maybe sometime next week? What day/time would work best with your schedule?

This is ESPECIALLY important in this situation because by the sound of it, she seemed to be far more invested in you than you were in her. So you may have sent her into auto-rejection.

 

[Franco]

Lithuanian,

Then I wrote her next week and asked her to a date. She agreed very easily and accpted all terms I suggested (time, place, she just picked week day). But on the day we should've met she wrote that she can't come that day and offered to meet on sunday. I got irritated a bit and wrote that maybe, but I'm not sure if I won't be busy. She didn't write anything and me either.

One thing that needs to be done here (if you didn't do it already) is send her a "pre-date" text early on the day of the date to make sure the date is still on. Usually, I tend to leave one detail out with women (such as the place or the time) so that it gives me a reason to text them as well as confirm the date -- two birds with one stone. For example, the conversation might look like this:

(MONDAY)

Her: Thursday should work for me!
Me: Awesome. How does 7:30 sound?
Her: That should work
Me: Cool. I'll see you on Thursday then, Jen

(THURSDAY)

(11:23 am) Me: Hey Jennifer, how does meeting at XYZ Bar tonight, sound? They make fantastic margaritas there
(Later that day): That sounds great!
Me: Cool, I'll see you tonight!

Girls can get nervous about a date if you set it up days before and then say nothing to them hours leading up until the date. They are not sure if you even remembered, or they are not sure if you're even excited about it. Texting them in the morning shows them both of these things -- you haven't forgotten, and you're also looking forward to the date.

Remember, don't send this text too late either. The later you wait in the day, the more likely she is to cancel to save face. Send her a text in the late morning so that she has time to process it and respond.

If she still can't make it anyway and suggests a date that is unavailable for you, then Bboy has great advice for you. Very warmly tell her that you don't think you'll be available but that you'd like to try again for something the following week. Assuming she's genuinely interested, she'll likely agree to this. Then try to set up a new date early the next week.

- Franco