Met a girl at work...

[mg2021]

Hey guys...my name's Mike and this is my first post here, looking for a little help.

i've read a few articles in the past, and have been frantically reading some articles today trying to figure out what to do.

here's the situation: i just got out of a 1-yr relationship about a month ago, and i'm trying to meet some new girls and broaden my horizons. I work at a car dealership and talk to new people all day, but when it comes to talking to girls personally and not professionally, I tend to be shy at first. today, a co-worker of mine was selling a car to a super cute girl, and he even went out of his way to let me know that she was single. i talked to her VERY briefly in passing, but pretty much fell flat on my face. i don't think i said anything wrong...i just didnt really say anything at all. we talked a bit about her current job, her old job, and the fact that she was buying a new car. then i had to leave, at which point she handed me her business card which has her phone number and email on it.

i'd like to follow up with her, but not sure how to approach it. i never really laid any groundwork for myself doing any followup, so I'm afraid that i might come off as creepy or "chasing". all i have is the fact that she handed me her card.

so my question is: should i let this one go, or try to make something out of a botched opportunity? and if it's ok to contact her, should i text? call? email? which might be my best chance? what to say?

thanks in advance for any advice! now, back to reading....

 

[Mr. oblivious]

Could just send her a message saying hey .... its insert name save my number

im not sure tho probably wait for more experience help (texting is not my strong suit)

 

[Smith]

Since you didn't really state your intent when you got her business card, it would be best to talk to her more in person to set up dates.
Otherwise it's weird. Probably better to not think too much about this one.

Smith

 

[Mr. oblivious]

Since you didn't really state your intent when you got her business card, it would be best to talk to her more in person to set up dates.
Otherwise it's weird. Probably better to not think too much about this one.

Smith

Just depends

if she handed the card to him while talking about business it would be strange

But if they where having a casual discussion and he said ill catch you around or that should meet later then received the card then i might be different

Just depends on what actually happened

 

[mg2021]

thanks for the replies.

yeah, she pretty much handed me the card talking about business. didn't really get a chance to say anything about potentially meeting up or contacting her later for anything non-work related. looks like this one might be a little too weird to re-gain. anyway, i'm going to continue browsing the site and learning...hell i might even try the "newbie assignment" but with my work schedule, it might take a while. thanks again guys!

 

[themainattraction]

So I'm not an expert or anything...BUT, i do have a couple of moments when reaching out was probably "creepy" but it worked out

i first met my ex at an outdoor dance thing, literally talked to her for 30 seconds on the half hour subway ride over, she was with two other guys. Literally the only interaction we had. She left super early and we didnt even dance
she friended me on facebook. a few days later i sent a message saying i cant believe we only talked for 30 seconds, and you left so quickly, blah blah. long story short, we talked for hours a day and she became my gf shortly after

A girl i never met at school before, but who ive seen around, was absolutely gorgeous. I knew her name through the grapevine, and she seemed like a nice girl so I figured why the hell not. I straight up cold messaged her on fb saying ive seen her around last year and was waiting to run into her on campus but it hasnt happened, and if she was up for coffee. She replied enthusiastically, saying she was flattered. But also that she was busy, blah blah. A couple days later she hits me up to see when we could meet up

The coffee date went lovely, but I was off from problems with my ex. I also set my expectations way too high and wasn't feeling it.

BUT, the point is...why the hell not. It's either you don't give it a shot and end up nowhere or you try and you're either stuck in the same place, or you get at least a date out of it. Worst case scenario she thinks you're a creep. Cool. You probably won't see her again anyway.

Honestly, if only i applied that mentality to face-to-face interactions. Still gotta work on that -_-

Good luck!

 

[mg2021]

So I'm not an expert or anything...BUT, i do have a couple of moments when reaching out was probably "creepy" but it worked out

i first met my ex at an outdoor dance thing, literally talked to her for 30 seconds on the half hour subway ride over, she was with two other guys. Literally the only interaction we had. She left super early and we didnt even dance
she friended me on facebook. a few days later i sent a message saying i cant believe we only talked for 30 seconds, and you left so quickly, blah blah. long story short, we talked for hours a day and she became my gf shortly after

A girl i never met at school before, but who ive seen around, was absolutely gorgeous. I knew her name through the grapevine, and she seemed like a nice girl so I figured why the hell not. I straight up cold messaged her on fb saying ive seen her around last year and was waiting to run into her on campus but it hasnt happened, and if she was up for coffee. She replied enthusiastically, saying she was flattered. But also that she was busy, blah blah. A couple days later she hits me up to see when we could meet up

The coffee date went lovely, but I was off from problems with my ex. I also set my expectations way too high and wasn't feeling it.

BUT, the point is...why the hell not. It's either you don't give it a shot and end up nowhere or you try and you're either stuck in the same place, or you get at least a date out of it. Worst case scenario she thinks you're a creep. Cool. You probably won't see her again anyway.

Honestly, if only i applied that mentality to face-to-face interactions. Still gotta work on that -_-

Good luck!

thanks for the tips. my coworker who sold her the car is actually friends with her on FB, and he tagged her in a post yesterday. hell, maybe i'll try and cold message her as a "mutual friend". i'll keep it simple, and see if she wants to go out. like you said, worst case scenario she'll think i'm a creep.

 

[mg2021]

just an update:

so i ended up messaging her on FB, she remembered me, and we texted a few times. timing was bad for me since i had to work 2 weeks straight, but i set up a date with her for tomorrow evening. i'll let you guys know how it turns out. thanks again for the help!

 

[RLS]

Found this while perusing an article, Chase said it's pretty solid: http://kennyspuathoughts.com/2014/05/20 ... e-pursuit/

 

[mg2021]

Well, guys...I fucked it up. This will be a long post, but hopefully i can learn from the experience.


The latest update: We ended up going out for lunch last Sunday afternoon. I told her that I was going out of town to visit some friends, and I nailed down a plan with her to meet at a particular restaurant at 1PM. texted her when i was on the way, and we both arrived at the same time. We sat down, talked for a while, ordered some food, ate, talked some more. Honestly, I felt like we were connecting pretty well. We had some things in common, shared some laughs, told some stories, solid eye contact, etc...next thing we know it's almost 4PM!

So then I asked her if she wanted to go down the street to this little coffee shop, and she said sure! So we ordered some coffee, sat down for a while, and talked some more. Then she asked me when I was supposed to be leaving to visit my friend, and I told her that I'd actually have to leave pretty soon. And here's where I think I fucked up: I asked her if she wanted to take a quick road trip with me. At first, she said no, that she had to help her sister out with something, so I said cool no problem. We sat around talking for a short while, and then she asked "so if I go with you, whose car should we take?", and I told her we could drop of her car at home and take mine.

We ended up driving out to my friend's house which was like an hour away, we hung out for a while, she was getting along really well with my friend and his wife, they told embarrassing stories about me, and it was all cool. Eventually we left, and on the ride home we talked some more, she even was talking about other stuff we should do together in the future. But when we got back to her place (actually, her and her parents' place), I fucked up again by not trying to make a move. I got nervous...just gave her a hug and told her good night. i didn't even try for a little kiss. fuck!!!!!

The next day, she texted me good morning, and that she had a good time...and i texted back that I had a good time too, but after that, NOTHING. i gave it a day, texted her again and said that I'd be off work early Thursday and Saturday and that we should do something, asked about her schedule, and she got back to me like 6 hours later basically just saying "not sure, I'll let you know". i gave it a couple more days, tried to ask her out again for Thursday night, and she said "Hey not tonight, sorry". haven't heard from her since.

sounds like I'm done with this one, haha....is it worth waiting a few more days and trying one last time? i kinda want to see her again...but is it too soon after getting a solid "no"?

 

[Mr. oblivious]

Well, guys...I fucked it up. This will be a long post, but hopefully i can learn from the experience.


The latest update: We ended up going out for lunch last Sunday afternoon. I told her that I was going out of town to visit some friends, and I nailed down a plan with her to meet at a particular restaurant at 1PM. texted her when i was on the way, and we both arrived at the same time. We sat down, talked for a while, ordered some food, ate, talked some more. Honestly, I felt like we were connecting pretty well. We had some things in common, shared some laughs, told some stories, solid eye contact, etc...next thing we know it's almost 4PM!

So then I asked her if she wanted to go down the street to this little coffee shop, and she said sure! So we ordered some coffee, sat down for a while, and talked some more. Then she asked me when I was supposed to be leaving to visit my friend, and I told her that I'd actually have to leave pretty soon. And here's where I think I fucked up: I asked her if she wanted to take a quick road trip with me. At first, she said no, that she had to help her sister out with something, so I said cool no problem. We sat around talking for a short while, and then she asked "so if I go with you, whose car should we take?", and I told her we could drop of her car at home and take mine.

We ended up driving out to my friend's house which was like an hour away, we hung out for a while, she was getting along really well with my friend and his wife, they told embarrassing stories about me, and it was all cool. Eventually we left, and on the ride home we talked some more, she even was talking about other stuff we should do together in the future. But when we got back to her place (actually, her and her parents' place), I fucked up again by not trying to make a move. I got nervous...just gave her a hug and told her good night. i didn't even try for a little kiss. fuck!!!!!

The next day, she texted me good morning, and that she had a good time...and i texted back that I had a good time too, but after that, NOTHING. i gave it a day, texted her again and said that I'd be off work early Thursday and Saturday and that we should do something, asked about her schedule, and she got back to me like 6 hours later basically just saying "not sure, I'll let you know". i gave it a couple more days, tried to ask her out again for Thursday night, and she said "Hey not tonight, sorry". haven't heard from her since.

sounds like I'm done with this one, haha....is it worth waiting a few more days and trying one last time? i kinda want to see her again...but is it too soon after getting a solid "no"?

Should of probably tried to escalate when you go to her place but its all a learning process

if this where me i would give her a week or 2 radio silence then said her a personal message that she will reply to then then have a short chat before trying to ask her out again. (maybe link asking her out to one of the things she said you should do togeather)

This is kinda like the foot in the door technique if you start talking first she is more likely to accept the date instead of asking her flat out

Goodluck and keep us updated

 

[mg2021]

yeah, it's gonna be radio silence for a while it seems. i'll let you guys know if anything happens!