Middle aged men clingy with younger girls

[Virgin101]

This one annoys me. Seeing men in their 40s and 50s giving a girl extra attention (and I don't mean inappropriately so) because she looks so well. I can understand why a young teenager might think an attractive girl is 'adorable' and get pleasure out of giving her a bit of extra attention even if there's no flirting. But for middle aged men, I think this is naive. I remember I had a boss once who clearly liked my work colleague better than me. I wasn't that I needed his attention, just that when I saw her getting more recognition than me, and I resented it. I mean why would he bother? He's not gonna get to sleep with her!

It's as if they don't realise that underneath the makeup and smile, could well self absorbed narcissistic attitude with a lot tantrums. As soon as I realise that I can't sleep with such a shallow type girl, I'll have nothing to do with them. It's not possible to have a natural conversation with them anyway. It's either, listen to them talk about themselves, or make jokes by poking fun at them. I'd rather go have a natural conversation with an average looking girl... or guy!

I was at a cousin's wedding recently, and there didn't seem to be any available girls there (for one reason or another). I noticed a lot of my uncles and bachelor male neighbors talking to the few young more noticeable girls, who'd be in their early twenties. They'd be talking with them a bit more than what you'd need to, but yet not flirting. Does it make them look silly? Needless to say, I got no attention from them. I suppose it's more fun to have meaningless chit chat with someone who's good looking.

For me, the caked on makeup, high heels and giant eye lashes, are likely a tell tail sign of insecurity. With the years of wisdom older men have, shouldn't they read that too? I'll be sure to watch out for this when I'm older!

 

[Black]

Know what you mean.

Just let them be. The poor guys just do what they can. . .

 

[Chase]

Virgin-

Not every guy is a social expert, even at 40 or 50. Just like not every guy is awesome at making friends or filthy rich at that age. Same thing.

There's also a risk-reward calculation going on there. The risk of an older man flirting with a younger girl is stupidly low. Unless he's grabbing her butt uninvited and opening himself up to a sexual harassment suit, there's just zero risk. But the reward is a nubile young girl's body wrapped around his. Which is a nice reward.

I suspect the reason it's bugging you is because your mindset is, "Those guys are just wasting their time. Don't they realize they're just wasting their time? She's not going to sleep with them. What a bunch of idiots." Or at least, that's how I used to think about situations like that when I was young and sexually inexperienced.

As you become more sexually experienced though, you begin to discover that all these little interactions where it looks like nothing at all is happening and nothing could possibly come of them, sometimes they end up in sex behind closed doors. When you're newer and stumble onto this happening the first few times, it's shocking. Just blows your mind. I thought that guy didn't have a chance in hell... you think. Then after a while you get over it and realize people just like to shag, and all kinds of people shag all kinds of other people and it's almost impossible to predict sometimes which girls will end up in which guys' beds. Even when you're a pro, you'll suddenly find out two people are hooking up you did not suspect at all, and all you can do is say, "Gee, I sure didn't expect THAT!"

But yeah, that's why they do it. No risk, great potential reward. Even if they're only batting a half a percent in their "flirt with young girl, get anywhere" percentages, if they flirt with enough young girls sooner or later they'll end up with one in bed. It's just playing the odds.

(generally, it gets easier as you get older too... no one's lower on the mate value totem pole than young men, except old women. Nowhere to go but up when you're young)

Chase

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I have to be honest about this here Chase, I don't really see the older guy with younger girl dynamic playing out as much with some of the more attractive younger girls out there. Maybe it's because American women do not need financial security but what I see is that attractive younger women in the USA go for higher status/popular and good looking younger guys from their own demographic, such as the high school athlete getting with a hot high school girl or whatever. I don't really see guys past 30 pulling hot younger girls unless the guy is extraordinarily good looking + wealthy and the girl is lacking in wealth.

 

[Franco]

Proactivity,

Maybe it's because American women do not need financial security but what I see is that attractive younger women in the USA go for higher status/popular and good looking younger guys from their own demographic, such as the high school athlete getting with a hot high school girl or whatever. I don't really see guys past 30 pulling hot younger girls unless the guy is extraordinarily good looking + wealthy and the girl is lacking in wealth.

This would only be because you've never lived in a big city environment. It sounds like most of the places you've lived are giant social circles, where the "alpha males" dominate because there's no other competition.

If you go to bigger cities (think LA, Miami, San Diego, Chicago, Austin, New York, etc), there's tons of guys in their 30s cleaning up with women. It's a little bit more rare to see a guy in his 40s or 50s doing this, but that's not necessarily because he doesn't think he can do it; it's just that usually by that point, most of the guys drop out of the game, wife a girl up, and pop out a kid or two. But the ones who keep going only seem to get better (until THEY eventually drop out of the game, wife a girl up, and pop out a kid or two).

It's all confirmation bias. If you keep attempting to pick up girls in areas that are primarily dominated by the college scene, then you're going to experience the "big social circle" effect where everyone knows everyone and the kids with the highest status seem to hoard the most girls. If you live in a big city, however, the "big social circle" thing goes away, and while there are smaller social circles of hot girls still, there are also plenty of older guys who operate from a "lone wolf" standpoint (possibly with another buddy or two) and just go out regularly and get laid with hotties. Young girls tend to throw themselves at these types of guys too, assuming the older guys have their fundamentals down (which they usually do if they've been getting laid regularly since their 20s).

I think if you do a bit of traveling to bigger cities, you'll tend to see this more often. =)

- Franco

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

^ Former college town kid who moved to NYC, I can confirm this.

I think in big cities you also get a ton of foreign women who care less about age and just more about having a good time. I feel like this alone makes it so game and other things matter more than age and social status.

If you are into a certain type (blonde, American, and hot), it seems like they are hard to find in big cities and more easily found in the college town type areas. Unfortunately, it is tough to compete with frats as a 30 something.

 

[lao che]

dunno about clingy.

but to a middle aged man a 20yo isn't that much different than a 5yo. that's why they (or I) can talk to girls like that, because we're so far above them and we can see them for what they are, just cute lovely stupid girly girls. we don't give a fuck about what they think. why they're angry about something, or in a bad mood. we just chuckle at them and pat them on the head. "oh you're so cute when you're angry" or whatever.we don't give a fuck. we don't chase. we don't care - "oh no she rejected me when i asked for a kiss on my cheek oh no i am so embarrassed"!!! you can pay a girl a compliment and she'll not think you're a creeper or only saying that because you wanna fuck her. but she'll still know you wanna fuck her but you're not really trying and she can tell you would be a lot of fun and she might even consider it, but you don't give a fuck. she's just a little girl who you can tease and toy with


and they love it

go watch some rocco siffredi porn, watch how he interacts with girls before he fucks them. that's how i try to be. so open, so genuine, so warm, but also so very masculine, charming, obviously super confident

don 't kid yourself, sure the girls are being paid, but they worship rocco

 

[lao che]

so i guess the answer is frame. there are worlds between a clumsy 22yo taking a girls hand and complimenting her beauty, and charismatic and approval-giving 40yo man doing the same

a 22yo could be charismatic and approval giving too, but the frame would be different. he'd taker her hand and compliment her beauty, thinking "man she is beautiful. she's fucking hot. yeah this is going pretty well so far. i met get to smash this girl later".
but look at rocco, he absolutely knows he's gonna be smashing that in about ten minutes, because he's paying her to do it.
that's kinda how i go into most interactions with women, like i absolutely know i'll be smashing her at some later date.

is that clingy?


EDIT: i just fully read the original post. there are so many assumptions there/ so much judgement about people because of how they look or their age.

It's not possible to have a natural conversation with them anyway. It's either, listen to them talk about themselves, or make jokes by poking fun at them. I'd rather go have a natural conversation with an average looking girl... or guy!

They'd be talking with them a bit more than what you'd need to, but yet not flirting. Does it make them look silly? Needless to say, I got no attention from them. I suppose it's more fun to have meaningless chit chat with someone who's good looking.

For me, the caked on makeup, high heels and giant eye lashes, are likely a tell tail sign of insecurity. With the years of wisdom older men have, shouldn't they read that too? I'll be sure to watch out for this when I'm older!

that's not cool! test your assumptions, bro. don't just start labelling people. or at least label them positive. you don't know what's going on, you just think you do.

 

[lao che]

"For me, the caked on makeup, high heels and giant eye lashes, are likely a tell tail sign that this is a fucking wedding and everybody has made an effort. i hope they make this much effort for my wedding"

"They'd be talking with them a bit more than what you'd need to, but yet not flirting. they like each other. she seemed genuinely to be interested in what he had to say. and he in her.
i wonder what they're talking about. i need to work on my conversation skills so i can be like that when i'm older"

"It's not possible to have a natural conversation with them anyway because i don't wanna listen to them talk about themselves, but i can poke fun at them coz i'm afraid. i'd rather go have a natural conversation with a girl who doesn't intimidate me like the hot girls do. or i could talk to a guy about how hot girls are bitches who only talk about themselves ... on the other hand, i could team up with the guy and try to talk to girls together, help each other out. and i could talk to a girl who doesn't intimidate me, see what's up. get to know her. maybe it'll help me relax around girls i think are really cute"

 

[Virgin101]

Thanks Chase

(generally, it gets easier as you get older too... no one's lower on the mate value totem pole than young men, except old women. Nowhere to go but up when you're young)

I agree about the old women part, but there's too many ways the other point can be argued. While older men who might resemble Russell Crowe, might indeed be noticed many younger women, this kind of man would kind of make a fool of himself in a club surrounded people in their 20s. And although such men might be highly sought after; is it because their more attractive than what they were? or because they're now seen to be trophy fucks?

As you get older, a lot of women your own aged are married. But on the other hand, the women who aren't, are perhaps more desperate to find a man as they're nearing menopause, and may be willing to shag down to men on her own (or lower) level of attractiveness. I also heard a lot of hints dropped that women are very sexual when they're in their 40s.

We do indeed hear a lot of talk about young girls having daddy complexes. I'm not sure about how much truth there is in this. I often hear girls my own aged make comments good looking older men (the sort that'd carry themselves like Richard Gear) who are in positions of authority... but I presume these comments are always made on the assumption that it would never happen.

 

[Virgin101]

Proactivity,

Maybe it's because American women do not need financial security but what I see is that attractive younger women in the USA go for higher status/popular and good looking younger guys from their own demographic, such as the high school athlete getting with a hot high school girl or whatever. I don't really see guys past 30 pulling hot younger girls unless the guy is extraordinarily good looking + wealthy and the girl is lacking in wealth.

This would only be because you've never lived in a big city environment. It sounds like most of the places you've lived are giant social circles, where the "alpha males" dominate because there's no other competition.

If you go to bigger cities (think LA, Miami, San Diego, Chicago, Austin, New York, etc), there's tons of guys in their 30s cleaning up with women. It's a little bit more rare to see a guy in his 40s or 50s doing this, but that's not necessarily because he doesn't think he can do it; it's just that usually by that point, most of the guys drop out of the game, wife a girl up, and pop out a kid or two. But the ones who keep going only seem to get better (until THEY eventually drop out of the game, wife a girl up, and pop out a kid or two).

It's all confirmation bias. If you keep attempting to pick up girls in areas that are primarily dominated by the college scene, then you're going to experience the "big social circle" effect where everyone knows everyone and the kids with the highest status seem to hoard the most girls. If you live in a big city, however, the "big social circle" thing goes away, and while there are smaller social circles of hot girls still, there are also plenty of older guys who operate from a "lone wolf" standpoint (possibly with another buddy or two) and just go out regularly and get laid with hotties. Young girls tend to throw themselves at these types of guys too, assuming the older guys have their fundamentals down (which they usually do if they've been getting laid regularly since their 20s).

Well I guess it all depends what you have in mind when you mention middle aged men. I was talking about middle aged that would have let themselves go a bit... balding, bear bellied, glasses, etc.

- Virg

 

[lao che]

so, if the guy's not attractive, it's creepy. it's always like this. doesn't matter if he's 26 or 46