Mind Blindness: Alternative Explanations

[metalbird]

Just read Chase's recent article on mind blindness. As someone who struggles with that phenomenon frequently with women but is definitely not AS, I wanted to point out that there is at least one, probably much more common, cause for it: Tunnel Vision. So before a bunch of guys go out and self-diagnoses themselves as being "on the spectrum", consider these alternatives.

Two things to ask:

• Immediately after a failed social interaction, especially one where you missed obvious signals/cues, is your stress response system hyperactivated? You feel really tense, upset, on edge, nervous, scared, etc? If so, you probably got amygdala hijacked, not AS
• Do you find yourself being "sucked in" to very pleasurable interactions with women? You lose your frame and fail to steer things in the way you originally intended because you're just enjoying yourself so much? If so, you have a different problem, not one I have a name for, but a common one nonetheless

Both of these things have specific roots that can cause them to become severely entrenched patterns which seem highly resistant to modification. In the case of Amygdala Hijacks, many guys (myself included) that had a long history of being bullied, humiliated by women, rejected, etc, in early years, have developed a PTSD-like fear response to certain social situations. What's helped me most with that are:

• Tension Release Exercises
• meditation
• exposure therapy

The second case, consistently losing frame and getting sucked into particularly enjoyable interactions with women, is a common cause of "attainment issues" where guys seem to kill it with the women they're not really that into, but consistently fail with the ones that actually like. In my case, what's helped me most with it are:

• training myself to do regular frame resets (eg Jocko's "recalibrate, reload, re-engage") -- use the restroom, go for a walk
• writing down what my goals are with women before I go out
• Before I approach, ask myself mentally "Guess what color panties she's wearing" -- a spin on the classic public speaking trick of visualizing the audience in their underwear

There are probably other alternatives as well. As a former firefighter, and former military, I've experienced tunnel vision in a variety of settings. I've also been trained on the basics of it and how harmful, even deadly it can be in the wrong situations. Even experienced professionals get it. Sometimes the best you can hope for is that your training is good enough that your reptile brain acts correctly. For me, nothing is more terrifying than a beautiful woman . Unfortunately women are bit harder to train against (Although a paid service for it is probably not a bad business model):

[Timestamp gets scrubbed, go to 6:39]