Mismatch Between Logistical and Emotional Escalation

[James D]

Hey guys,

I was thinking about several of my failed lays.

A recurring theme I noticed was that while I placed a lot of emphasis on the logistical escalation...

I disregarded or did not place enough emphasis on the emotional escalation.

I would typically follow my date plan, moving from, for instance, the coffee shop to a walk in the park etc etc to an isolated spot, i.e. the escalation spot.

My mistake was thinking that just because we had made it to the escalation spot, it meant that she was ready to escalate.

Meanwhile, I did not make it a point to escalate things emotionally to get her to the point where she was ready to get intimate.

Another thing I suspect is given that I don't invite girls home (not possible) but rather lead them to an isolated spot as part of the date plan...

The very fact that they followed me to the isolated spot does not by itself confirm that she is ready for sex.

Whereas if a girl accepts to go back home with you, you can probably assume that she is at least opened to the idea of having sex.

So, the girl following me to the isolated spot which is not my home doesn't mean much.

Any girl I have a decent amount of compliance with will follow me there.

But it doesn't mean she is aroused to the point of getting intimate.

So I just wanted to share one of my most persistent mistakes: the mismatch beween my emotional and logistical escalation.

My gauge of the amount of arousal a girl needs is probably not accurate.

She needs higher degrees of stimulation.

And by the way, I diagnosed myself using SAC and I know without a doubt that my Similarity is excellent...

So arousal must be the issue.

Not enought of it...

 

[TomInHo]

Yeah thats a good observation. If you have enough compliance a lot of girls will go home with you but not necessarily be ready to fuck when they get there

I used to run into this problem quite a bit and what helped me a lot was the mentality of "Foreplay begins at hello"

Also when bouncing between venues/locations escalate the vibe at each one the best you can so it feels like the tension is rising

Location 1: Social or minimal touch + basic small talk
Location 2: Social and more Romantic touch + Deeper conversation / Flirting
Location 3: Romantic touch + Sex Talk / Deep conversation
Location 4: Sexual Escalation

This is pretty much the idea behind @Skills 3 Bounce method and it works very well because for the girl it seems like the sex just naturally happens, hence less LMR and more sexy time

Plus don't be afraid to invite girls home verbally. Because if you have stimulated them enough they will say yes and there is no need to trick them into cuming home with you

 

[James D]

Yeah thats a good observation. If you have enough compliance a lot of girls will go home with you but not necessarily be ready to fuck when they get there

I used to run into this problem quite a bit and what helped me a lot was the mentality of "Foreplay begins at hello"

Also when bouncing between venues/locations escalate the vibe at each one the best you can so it feels like the tension is rising

Location 1: Social or minimal touch + basic small talk
Location 2: Social and more Romantic touch + Deeper conversation / Flirting
Location 3: Romantic touch + Sex Talk / Deep conversation
Location 4: Sexual Escalation

Thanks for your reply!

Great note on the mentality of "Foreplay begins at hello" and escalating the vibe at each location.

Plus don't be afraid to invite girls home verbally.

I meant that this is not even an option at the moment. I don't have logistics.

So I'm working with what I have right now, escalating in isolated spots.