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FU  Missed Escalation Window

JDB_40k

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 15, 2014
Messages
47
This is one of those situations where I am kicking my ass because I knew better and now I feel I've lost her.

About a week ago I am out with one of the rarest of the rare girls. Sophisticated, smart, tall, beautiful and full of life. Instant connection and attraction. Conversation flows like water from a Roman fountain. She's complimenting me, I'm dropping sexy humor and she is playing along. She turns her body to me and lightly taps her foot to my leg. For whatever reason I don't make a move and continue the conversation - I guess I was taken aback by how fast she opened the window (30 minutes) Like the article, it closed quickly. The conversation was still strong but the opportunity was missed. I tried my damnedest to go for the pull: non-needy, confident but she wasn't budging at that point.

I've read the articles on missed escalation windows and how to get a girl back. I know it's hard, bordering on unlikely - so I've made peace with that and gone out with other girls since. Being said, I feel it is both her and my interest to give it another shot. I am convinced she is worth investing in and know that I am what she is looking for (outside of a bit of hesitation)

For context - I have accepted that I probably will never see her again and made peace with the hard lession - but, If anyone here has a method, no matter how risky, to attempt a comeback: I would GREATLY appreciate it.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Hector Papi Castillo

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 2, 2013
Messages
2,592
Re: FU - Missed Escalation Window

JDB_40k,

I've had a good amount of insane turnarounds, where I fuckup my first chance with her, but somehow, months down the road, I get another shot and make it happen. It mostly happened under the following circumstances

- I see her out at a party or the bars, because small-town college. Then she sees how many homies like me and how many girls want the D; she goes "wow, why is he so hot tonight? Was I not seeing right before? I wonder if I lost some really good dick by being a prude." Then, she usually approaches me or gives me stupidly obvious signals. I get her out of there quickly and shag her brains out.

- She hears about me hooking up with lots of girls and being invited to lots of parties, so she texts me out of the blue (again, cuz small college town). We hangout and fuck pretty quickly.

- I see her out during the day, she smiles or even says something as she walks by, and I schedule another date. We then bang soon after

You notice a trend? It's best if you can probably see her again out and about, have her see YOU again, or she hears about you and wants to give you another shot. Unfortunately my successes with week to week persistence are uncommon. And for the most part, I've been cutting contact after I fuckup; I meet so many other girls that it doesn't matter. But, this might actually be me preserving my ego. If you think about the actual effort it takes to send ANOTHER text a week after she ghosts? Maybe one more a month later? A few fucking minutes, haha. So on the rare occasion it does happen, then those few minutes got you laid. Good return IMO.

So, unless you can use the environment to make her fly towards your flame, you rarely get another shot. But the effort it takes is not so great, you just gotta let go of the ego saying "screw her, if she doesn't like me I'll go fuck five other girls while she bangs some loser." ALL of my natural friends get butthurt like this, however. They auto-reject themselves and never sleep with her. They play it as indifference, but it's definitely auto-rejection. Don't do this. It just makes you look petty.

Alternatively, they get REALLY invested in the girl and pour more time into her, when really they're BF-zoned. Sometimes they fuck her, but by the time they do, they end up getting toyed around as their boyfriend. Seen it happen TONS of times, to some of my most charismatic and dominant friends. Like seeing a Titan chained and beaten.

Make sure you don't do that if you do get another shot.

But I need more detail on exactly how the date ended for me to see how I'd approach this.

- Hector
 
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