I don't know if it's noticeable, but I've been blowing up the boards right now, answering whatever takes my fancy. It's 4am, and I can't sleep.I've approached four women today, had conversations with another three strangers. I've had sex with three new girls in the last month, and seem to be getting better and better.
But I can't sleep. I've jacked off to porn I think four times today, in an attempt to use hormones to calm me and my obsessiveness down. I didn't sleep much last night either.
My brain thinks about pickup nonstop. It's unhealthy. And yet, I'm still not doing enough.
Some days I don't want to get out of bed, I masturbate constantly, and can't seem to think of myself as anything other than a failure at all of this (I have been a part of this community since 2013 and have probably been the person to improve the slowest, if at all). And I feel I could never take action, it wouldn't matter anyway, etc. People really shouldn't take my advice here, I don't even know why I post it. I don't want to get out of bed.
Other days, I'm on top of the world, as a breakthrough occurs to me, I pull off something I didn't think was possible (I fingered a girl in an airplane, midflight, in front of everyone last week!), or I pull off or understand a complex social maneuver or mechanism. I literally feel myself growing and improving. I can't sleep because I am busy thinking or reading about seduction, or dissecting interactions, or beating myself up for not taking more action.
But regardless, I can't stop thinking about either how bad I am, how much I need to do, or how impressed with myself I am in that moment (which is the rarest).
Does anyone else feel this way ever? I feel like it's not all bad, but it would really be nice to get more sleep.
Tiredly yours,
Byron
But I can't sleep. I've jacked off to porn I think four times today, in an attempt to use hormones to calm me and my obsessiveness down. I didn't sleep much last night either.
My brain thinks about pickup nonstop. It's unhealthy. And yet, I'm still not doing enough.
Some days I don't want to get out of bed, I masturbate constantly, and can't seem to think of myself as anything other than a failure at all of this (I have been a part of this community since 2013 and have probably been the person to improve the slowest, if at all). And I feel I could never take action, it wouldn't matter anyway, etc. People really shouldn't take my advice here, I don't even know why I post it. I don't want to get out of bed.
Other days, I'm on top of the world, as a breakthrough occurs to me, I pull off something I didn't think was possible (I fingered a girl in an airplane, midflight, in front of everyone last week!), or I pull off or understand a complex social maneuver or mechanism. I literally feel myself growing and improving. I can't sleep because I am busy thinking or reading about seduction, or dissecting interactions, or beating myself up for not taking more action.
But regardless, I can't stop thinking about either how bad I am, how much I need to do, or how impressed with myself I am in that moment (which is the rarest).
Does anyone else feel this way ever? I feel like it's not all bad, but it would really be nice to get more sleep.
Tiredly yours,
Byron
