- Joined
- May 15, 2014
- Messages
- 102
I'm not posting much 'cause I can already imagine what my mistakes were when things go south and what should I be doing to get better. It's hard to make progress when all these other projects/concerns going on but if I look back two years ago (and don't even mention three) my social skills and inner game are at a completely different place.
_____________________
Anyway. . .
I think I sent this social circle girl into auto-rejection and now the whole thing mutated into something very strange. . .
First time I saw her like, two months ago, we were at a meet up, we went for drinks, she tested like crazy me that I approach other girls but we ended up flirting, we had some nice physical contact, she even started qualifying herself at some point, but things got nowhere because we were all the time in the middle of a group. She was really really warmed up to me that night.
Then, later I tried to set up something to see her again but she was busy with other things. Then I was busy. Like a month passed with mostly radio silence on both parts.
Then one day I'm leaving my office and she suddenly msgs me if I'm going to this meetup (we are friends on a meet ups site where she can keep tabs on me).
I say yes and comment the neighbourhood I am on. She's like "wait, I go there now to meet up with you", I'm like "I'm at the train station, leaving", she's like "then come to Z neighborhood (where she lives) to hang out!" i'm like "nah, I'm going directly to A neighborhood (where I live and where the meetup was going to be - I was avoiding her because I had a killer stomache)" she goes "ok, I'm going to meet you at A neighborhood then!" I close the conversation with "yeah, cya at 20:00 (hours later, time of the group meet up i.e. no "hanging around" the two of us)" She's like "Fine. . ." and I know I fucked up.
She shows at the meetup an hour later than we agreed and gives me a painful cold glare from far away before putting the friendly facade and joining the group right beside me. Within minutes she asked a random non-sexual guy to take the transport back home with her, he declined. Then she asked me to dinner, but when I said yes she immediately went out of her way to invite two other guys (who each refused like five times before accepting) - as if dreading to be isolated with me. Then she got in the middle when I was talking with this other girl. . . and then basically spent the rest of the time talking effusively to the other guys in the group and shooting down my value in subtle ways (criticizing me, giving me "and-who-the-hell-are-you looks" when I said something, and even trying to give me orders). I stayed afloat socially only because the guys themselves were more interested in what I had to say than in her games.
I thought to myself, well, this one sure went with a bang; after this, I'm not going to hear from her ever again.
. . .and after that she's been contacting me to hang out every week, last two times just the two of us. . . and even suggested we do something the weekend.
BUT, it's never going back to that first time. If I lead the conversation in the direction of any of the sexual anecdotes I normally bring up to get girls laughing and giddy/excited - she shuts down, she even seems hurt. To something she said I once came back "i used to know this girl who in her appartment had exactly the. . ." and it's like a bucket of icy water suddenly fell on her. Reminders of stuff she was saying the first time we met also seem to hurt her. Of the two times we went out alone, the first one she ignored me to go on and on and on with the waiter, the second one once we got there and sat down she's suddenly like "I'm not staying, I'm taking to go" but then she stayed on the phone so long I had time to order my food, eat it slowly and wave her bye.
The reason why I agree to see her is that, for now, she's the only girl in town (I know) who's mother tongue is the language I want to practice; otherwise an actual class would cost me like 100 USD an hour (long story). All I have to do is text back "ok" when she asks.
However, why she keeps meeting up with me is a mystery.
I don't pay her things.
With me, she doesn't get to practice the languages she needs to practice.
I don't compliment her or go out of my way to hang out; it's all uphill effort from her.
She doesn't feel like a male buddy either as she's secretive and distant and my banter attempts go nowhere - and a male buddy would not ask me "hey man lets meet for dinner" and then suddenly go "nope! not staying! I'm taking to go cause im sleepy" lol. . .
Because of her work-travels, she already has a lot of orbiters (and probably lovers) in all these nearby neighborhoods and cities.
No idea where is this going or what's the real gist of the situation other than bitterness. . . but I'm trying to find a replacement before it gets any weirder.
_____________________
Anyway. . .
I think I sent this social circle girl into auto-rejection and now the whole thing mutated into something very strange. . .
First time I saw her like, two months ago, we were at a meet up, we went for drinks, she tested like crazy me that I approach other girls but we ended up flirting, we had some nice physical contact, she even started qualifying herself at some point, but things got nowhere because we were all the time in the middle of a group. She was really really warmed up to me that night.
Then, later I tried to set up something to see her again but she was busy with other things. Then I was busy. Like a month passed with mostly radio silence on both parts.
Then one day I'm leaving my office and she suddenly msgs me if I'm going to this meetup (we are friends on a meet ups site where she can keep tabs on me).
I say yes and comment the neighbourhood I am on. She's like "wait, I go there now to meet up with you", I'm like "I'm at the train station, leaving", she's like "then come to Z neighborhood (where she lives) to hang out!" i'm like "nah, I'm going directly to A neighborhood (where I live and where the meetup was going to be - I was avoiding her because I had a killer stomache)" she goes "ok, I'm going to meet you at A neighborhood then!" I close the conversation with "yeah, cya at 20:00 (hours later, time of the group meet up i.e. no "hanging around" the two of us)" She's like "Fine. . ." and I know I fucked up.
She shows at the meetup an hour later than we agreed and gives me a painful cold glare from far away before putting the friendly facade and joining the group right beside me. Within minutes she asked a random non-sexual guy to take the transport back home with her, he declined. Then she asked me to dinner, but when I said yes she immediately went out of her way to invite two other guys (who each refused like five times before accepting) - as if dreading to be isolated with me. Then she got in the middle when I was talking with this other girl. . . and then basically spent the rest of the time talking effusively to the other guys in the group and shooting down my value in subtle ways (criticizing me, giving me "and-who-the-hell-are-you looks" when I said something, and even trying to give me orders). I stayed afloat socially only because the guys themselves were more interested in what I had to say than in her games.
I thought to myself, well, this one sure went with a bang; after this, I'm not going to hear from her ever again.
. . .and after that she's been contacting me to hang out every week, last two times just the two of us. . . and even suggested we do something the weekend.
BUT, it's never going back to that first time. If I lead the conversation in the direction of any of the sexual anecdotes I normally bring up to get girls laughing and giddy/excited - she shuts down, she even seems hurt. To something she said I once came back "i used to know this girl who in her appartment had exactly the. . ." and it's like a bucket of icy water suddenly fell on her. Reminders of stuff she was saying the first time we met also seem to hurt her. Of the two times we went out alone, the first one she ignored me to go on and on and on with the waiter, the second one once we got there and sat down she's suddenly like "I'm not staying, I'm taking to go" but then she stayed on the phone so long I had time to order my food, eat it slowly and wave her bye.
The reason why I agree to see her is that, for now, she's the only girl in town (I know) who's mother tongue is the language I want to practice; otherwise an actual class would cost me like 100 USD an hour (long story). All I have to do is text back "ok" when she asks.
However, why she keeps meeting up with me is a mystery.
I don't pay her things.
With me, she doesn't get to practice the languages she needs to practice.
I don't compliment her or go out of my way to hang out; it's all uphill effort from her.
She doesn't feel like a male buddy either as she's secretive and distant and my banter attempts go nowhere - and a male buddy would not ask me "hey man lets meet for dinner" and then suddenly go "nope! not staying! I'm taking to go cause im sleepy" lol. . .
Because of her work-travels, she already has a lot of orbiters (and probably lovers) in all these nearby neighborhoods and cities.
No idea where is this going or what's the real gist of the situation other than bitterness. . . but I'm trying to find a replacement before it gets any weirder.
