Moving Backwards?

[MorningStar]

I just recently read the Victim mentality post by Chase and it really set something off in my head. I have been doing this for a huge part of my life and I have really been stifling my social life and dating life for way too long.

Feeling not as sharp, sexy, desirable, etc as I once was.. I have a much better body and I have aged nicely(I'm still fairly young at 23) except that I now feel less in charge of my abilities to captivate people as I once have and quite frankly, I feel as if I've moved backwards in the socializing sense. My social anxiety has risen tremendously(I can feel my heart racing at times even as I'm going to meet up with new friends of same or opposite sex, or social situations). As a kid, I was always calling all the shots with girls(need to toot my own horn here and say that I went out with a beautiful 25 year old woman when I was only 17), was getting along well with many friends and had much better relationships it seems... Could all this be the affect of having a victim mentality? I fell into a depression at the start of college after a serious relationship went to shit and I just haven't quite bounced back completely or I've gone in and out of mild depressions.

After writing that bit of background, I can feel a bit of frustration in myself and my state of things as I have this new girl I met in the back of my head, whom I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about(Slept with her on the 1st date and she's about an 8.5 with a great personality). I've read the 'Talk to a lot of girls', 'Can't stop thinking of her', 'How not to fall in love', Etc. I've learned a lot from these posts and have put them to good use on the field, yet I find myself falling back into this funk where I can't motivate myself, doubt myself constantly, have general low self-esteem, and freeze up in social situations at times. I was never like this and it's been a complete 360 of how I used to be. What the balls is going on!? I have been drinking a lot more, although feeling the need to socialize a lot less while sober. I hope this post isn't too convoluted and I wonder if anyone else has experienced the same or has any thoughts/ideas to help a brother out on the many issues I've been facing(there I go victimizing myself!)

 

[DanG]

Hey MorningStar, sounds like you have a lot of crazy thoughts chasing each other round your head. Give yourself a break. What helps me in times like this is to try to step back from the crazy, almost like I'm observing those thoughts and feelings and think to myself 'Hmm, interesting, why do I think that or feel like that?' - Analyse those feelings like a scientist or something - put them under the microscope. If you can take your conscious mind out of the maelstrom for five minutes you'll probably be able to see more clearly what's really going on.

By reading the blog and reaching out here you've shown you're not a victim - you're taking action and that's good.

 

[Franco]

Hi MorningStar,

Sometimes things like this can be less related to your fundamentals of seduction and more related to your fundamentals of life.

Check out this topic on keeping yourself in a healthy state of mind. I especially like Illflyer28's mention of keeping productive. Sometimes these negative thoughts and this victim mentality can come from a lack of good things happening in your life, so just surround yourself with things you are passionate about and that inspire self-growth (such as work projects, athletics, and seduction), and the good feelings will come with it. Good feelings have a snowball effect: if you can get yourself running on a few good feelings and start to see some success, then more good feelings will come and give you even more success.

Keep your chin up!

- Franco

 

[MorningStar]

Hey dudes,

I can be a big baby sometimes when I dont get my way, especially when girls dont chase me like ive been so used to since i was a boy. I believe my personality has taken a turn for the worse and ive been on a mission to change that, which hasnt been so easy or pleasant at times. I have also read a few posts about folks who never had much luck in their early years and are working from the ground up to bring their game up. Thats actually backwards for me and has been somewhat frustrating.

Thank you Franco, that's exactly what I needed to read. it seems as if I had forgot and I just needed a kick on the bum to remind me about these extremely important fundamentals that i have actually been working on. Some fudamentals have been kiked to the wayside at times with my eating habits not being to par since i am studying abroad in Spain, along with the drinking/smoking and the obvious lack of sleep because of all the fiestas! Thank you as well dang, i DO need to pull my head out of my ass and stop letting these negative thoughts cloud my mind.