Are there any foolproof ways to get over AA and get those first approaches in?
Not really.
The skillset is all about repetition.
Some issues
- Nerdy - A lot of guys coming into pick up were like me, coming from a STEM nerdy background.
- Bored with small talk - A lot of guys coming into pick up don't start conversations, don't start meaningless conversations
- Quiet/Passive/Shy - Some guys like to stay quiet and not conflict
- Argumentative/Know it All - Other guys like to start shit or inflict damage/win over positions.
- Fear to Start - Fear of starting a chat with total strangers.
- Fear of having enough to say/running out of things to say with strangers
- No experience with strangers
- No experience with girls
- Afraid of their own sexuality - They can't under any circumstance show the girl that they are sexually interested in them
- Needing to have everything planned
- Afraid of improvisation
- Unskilled at improvisation
- Poor Self Image - no one wants to listen to me. I'm too short, tall, skinny, fat, ginger, bald, black, old, young, short dick, bad teeth, caved in chest, random medical thing.
- Worst Fears Projection - Guys think she'll shoot him down before he says a word
This is the type of the iceberg in terms of excuses guys make. This down talk goes WELL BEYOND PICK UP. This extends to socialization, working out, trying new things, living life, etc.
This fear of AA even goes into
- Cold DM's
- Warm DM's
- Online Dating
- Reapproaching the game girl the same night
- Reapproaching different night (maybe you failed, maybe you banged but it got weird)
- Flirting
- Getting Sexual
- Putting your hands on a girl
- Dancing with a girl
- First Kiss
- Asking her to leave with you
- Asking her to leave her friends for you
- First Heavy Petting
- Sex
- Asking for something during sex that you want
- establishing boundaries
- Correcting a girl
- having tough discussions
- breaking up with a girl
- cheating on a girl/Juggling girls
- etc
This "fear"/approach anxiety thing is the main hurdle in the early part of your career.
What doesn't work
- Bitching about it on forums/Reddit
- Working out more/losing more weight/getting more muscle
- Making more money
- Reading more theory
- Praying and Hoping that one day that you'll get it
What works in the moment but is unreliable
- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Waiting for your song to come on (that's a personal one)
- Leaning on your environment
- Peer Pressure/Going out with buddies
- 3 Days of Professional Coaching - Most guys are not "fixed" after an epic weekend with a coach. They really need to spend a lot of time (1 month, go out every night) to really learn from a coach. It's like going to a personal trainer once and then putting 450 lbs on the squat bar.
Actually Getting over this stuff/fixes
- 3 second rule - You see the girl, 3 seconds to approach
- Sacrificing the lamb - try to get blown out HARSHLY the first approach (RSD Julien)
- Warm Ups - MM - talk to everyone and get the tongue loose
- Short Set Method - Talk to a lot of groups of people with no agenda (Tyler made this popular, don't know if this is "his" invention)
- "Fuck it" - anytime you face anything, you tell yourself, "Fuck It", I'm doing this shit.
- Give your bro 20 bucks or some amount of money that will feel painful to lose if you don't approach
- Do 3 approaches before the day is over, or you can't do X
- Scientific Frame of Mind - what happens if....
- Getting Therapy - this is the hardest way, but it's probably the thing that will be the most impactful in a "short" time. Most of the gurus switch to personal development because when they get to the end of the journey, after teaching other men, the realize a lot of the issues guys have are internal. And unless the internal stuff is handled, it's hard for MOST guys to do the things they actually want to do. That said, plenty of emotional trainwreck guys just have enough courage to get laid (which describes most gurus at the beginning, if you ask me)
Ultimately it comes with
time under pressure. If you're trying to put your P into her V, it will always be about dealing with the girl face to face. The more you do it, the less your stress hormones go up. The more reference experiences you have. It gets easier.
But unless you make this your profession, AA will never entirely leave. But for most guys, back in the day at least, it would take a few weeks of going out to greatly reduce it. The traditional 100 approaches/1,000 approaches over 3 months is basically meant to kill this once and forever so that you can actually apply some of the practices that are advocated. And online approaches don't count. And Hi and Bye might work for the first 10, but you want to move the bar up a notch after every 10-20 approaches.
I can't remember the last time I was crippled by AA, but for me to get in the groove, I probably have to bungle a few to snap back into "go" mode.
WIA
